It's Not a Game
by BettyHT
Summary: Adam is troubled by how his life is going on the Ponderosa, and with his father's advice, he leaves to find fulfillment and to come back when he has found what he is seeking or at least Ben is praying for that.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

"Glad you're the one with me. Little Joe shoots 'em in the gut. They moan something fierce when that happens. Takes 'em forever to die."

"He gets so excited when he can shoot someone. I never knew another kid so anxious to show off that way." Adam's derisive statements and calm demeanor covered the fact that sweat was running down his back and his stomach was clenching.

"Be quick. Pa's got some chores for us to do, and he's gonna be powerful mad if we're late again." Hoss did his best not to let his voice go to a higher pitch for it would ruin the impact of the statements he and Adam were making. They were doing their best to shake the three up and get them to back out of a gunfight in the street. If they heard his voice go higher, it would be a clue that he and Adam were as nervous as the three cowboys who were gunning for them.

"And shoot straight. Waiting for them to die is so very tiresome. Roy wants the statements just right. He hates to do them over."

"Yep, I guess that's what makes him a good sheriff."

"Yes, that and letting us clean up the town of riff raff like this. You would think they'd stop coming here knowing how they'll end up."

"Reckon the cost of boothill is getting a mite high too, but let's get this over with." When Adam had first started talking like this, Hoss had been confused and alarmed. He had felt his insides clench up and still felt some of that. But as he caught on to what Adam was trying to do with these men who had demanded money and an apology, he had followed his brother's lead hoping it would resolve this confrontation without bloodshed. It seemed like it might be working because the three men were glancing at each other and back at them wondering just into what they had gotten. He guessed that Adam saw it too and would work to increase their doubts until they decided on a different solution than a gunfight in the street. People were gathering to listen, and he had to assume Roy was there too.

"You take the one in the middle, and I'll take the one on the left and on the right."

"The middle one is skinny and the hardest to hit."

"That's why I only gave you one, and I'm taking two. That's fair, isn't it?"

The three men facing Hoss and Adam were getting distinctly nervous. Outnumbered, the logical thing would have been for the two Cartwrights to be nervous. That they seemingly were not made the three cowboys wonder why, and the conclusions they drew were similar thoughts that perhaps the three of them had challenged two men they should never have challenged.

"Guess so. Make sure you shoot 'em between the eyes. That last one you shot was a mess with that big hole in his neck."

"I had sun in my eyes. Today is cloudy so I promise no mess."

"All right."

"We're ready now. You boys got anything to say before we do this?"

Nothing can be as sobering to men who have been drinking than to realize they might have gotten themselves into a situation in which they could die. Caution became the better part of valor for the three men especially facing the man dressed in black who looked more like a gunfighter than a rancher. "Well, mister, we was just funning, you know. We never meant to get into a gunfight. If you don't mind, we'll just be heading out of town now. See ya." The three left in a hurry.

"Now, Adam, you ever see three men move that fast to get out of Virginia City?"

"Not since the last time we had to do something like this. At least you knew right away what I was trying to do. I didn't want anyone to die here today. Now where is our little brother who got us into this?"

It didn't take long to discover Little Joe's whereabouts because he sauntered down off the wooden walk in front of the mercantile where he had watched it all happen.

"Hey, Adam and Hoss, that was really funny. You guys are really good at that game."

Seeing the look on Adam's face when he turned made Little Joe retreat, but it was futile. With just a few strides, Adam was at Little Joe's side and threw him up against the wall of the mercantile. "That wasn't really funny. It was no game. That was real. That was your two brothers trying not to get killed or kill somebody today. Now what the hell did you say to those three men to have them come hunting us like that?" With just a short pause, Adam's voice got low and quiet. "And don't make up anything and don't leave anything out."

"Well, you see, I was playing poker with those three, and I lost a little bit ..." Adam tightened his grip on Little Joe's shirt and pushed up making his little brother stand on his tip toes to almost be as tall as his enraged older brother. "Ah, well, I lost my pay for the month and then I wrote out an IOU for the same amount. I thought I had a winning hand. I had a really good hand."

"Let me guess. One of them had four aces."

"Almost, Adam, almost that. He had four kings. Now who would ever have thought that someone who drew three cards would get four kings."

"Obviously you didn't, and you didn't think that three friends playing against you might be working together. Now explain how that led to us being challenged to a gunfight in the middle of the street by three men we didn't even know."

"Well, I said that my two brothers knew they were cheating and would come after them. You know I might have said you were going to get my money back and my IOU. Then I might have added in a few insults, and I told them your names and what you looked like. You know I never thought they would come after you. I thought they'd avoid you once I warned them. I guess you can't tell what three angry men who've been drinking might do. It was really slick though how you got them to back down."

"Apparently you thought wrong about a lot of things. Now how did you plan on paying off that IOU?"

"Well, I had to hand over what I had with me, but it wasn't enough for them." Seeing Adam's look get darker, Little Joe appealed to his other brother. "Now, Hoss, Adam can always get another set of hairpins, can't he? I mean, it was just to give to his gal for her birthday. It ain't like that's as important as keeping a brother alive, now is it? I told them they'd have to risk making you mad to get the rest."

"Now, Adam, it's all over, ain't it, and nobody got hurt?" Roy was there to help Hoss settle Adam down.

"I asked him to do one little errand while we took care of everything else, and he has to make a mess of things."

Joe made a big mistake then and got a bit cheeky. "Hey, what took you two so long, anyway? I never would have gotten into that poker game if you'd been on time."

With a fresh rush of fury, Adam face contorted in anger. Hoss stepped up then putting a hand on Adam's arm rather forcefully. "Let him go. It ain't something to be settled here in the street in front of all these folks."

"Adam, listen to your brother. This ain't the place nor the time to work this out."

For the first time, Adam noticed the crowd that had gathered. Many had come to see the two brothers face off against three cowboys who had too much to drink and had been goaded into a fight by the littlest Cartwright. Then they had stayed to watch the show as Adam confronted Little Joe about that. More had come to see what the others had found so interesting. Releasing Little Joe with a last shove, Adam turned to stalk away.

"Fine. We've provided enough entertainment today. That ought to keep tongues wagging for a week at least. I'll get home when I get home."

Hoss sighed deeply because he was worrying more and more that one of these confrontations or disappointments was going to be the one that made Adam leave. He was beginning to think it was only a matter of time, but he hoped and prayed that if Adam left, it wouldn't be over trouble in the family. He thanked Roy for his help and turned his back on Little Joe and walked to his horse, tightening the cinch, and mounting up without saying a word. Sometimes silence was the best way to tell Little Joe something. Finally his little brother got the message.

"I really messed up this time, didn't I?"

All Little Joe got for that was more silence which answered his question. It was a quiet ride back to the Ponderosa, but the silence didn't last once their father came out to the stable to greet them. He saw Hoss' look and knew something bad had happened. Even though the gunfight had been avoided, Ben was still furious about what had happened and even more concerned about what might have happened. He demanded to know if Hoss had told him everything.

"Well, Adam was right mad, and he didn't want to be with Little Joe any more at that point. He'll be along when he's ready."

"And where exactly is your older brother now?"

"I ain't exactly sure right now. I think he's probably still in town."

"You left him in town in that kind of temper?"

"Pa, you know there ain't no convincing our older brother when he's in a mood like that. My guess is that he went to see Millicent. It was probably best that he didn't spend no more time with Little Joe right then. He needed to cool down some. I know I needed some time before I felt near normal again." Hoss still felt somewhat sick to his stomach, but the worst of it had passed.

That brought Ben's attention back to his youngest who had first experienced some parental fury as Hoss had explained what happened. He had hoped that their father would not question Hoss about what had happened because everyone knew Hoss couldn't lie. If he tried, the truth just ate at him until it came out. Their father knew that so as soon as he overheard one comment in the stable that was not meant for his ears, he had walked up to Hoss to ask what had happened. Hoss told him everything not letting anything out. Joe had hoped he wouldn't quote him so thoroughly, but besides being unfailingly honest, Hoss had a fantastic memory rivaled only by his father's and his older brother's. Little Joe was thinking that it was supremely unfair to have so many family members with excellent memories at least until his father's words penetrated.

"And after you're done apologizing to Adam and to Hoss, you will do their chores for the next month. The first week will be for your behavior in town that nearly got them killed, and the next three weeks will be to earn enough money to repay your brother for his property that you so irresponsibly used to get yourself out of a debt you should never have incurred in the first place. Is that clear?"

"Pa, it wasn't like they were really in any danger. I was there to help out if things looked that bad. And those hairpins didn't cost Adam three weeks wages."

"Well, I guess it's up to the people who were in danger because of you to determine how serious it was, and Hoss seems to think it was very dangerous. And I know those hairpins didn't cost three weeks wages. I'm only paying you to do their chores not full wages for that."

"Yes, sir, I should have known that. And yes, Pa, it was all very clear. I'll do just what you said. When I go to town, I'll be sure to apologize to anyone else who was offended."

"By the time you go to town again, everyone will have forgotten all about this."

"Pa, how long before I get to go to town again?"

"Joseph, there are more important things to consider than when you get to go to town again."

"But, Pa, there's a dance Saturday night, and I already asked someone to go with me. I'd hate to break my word to her."

"Oh, you would hate to break your word to a pretty girl you hardly know, but you didn't seem to think it was important at all that you risked your brothers' lives and gave away property that didn't belong to you?"

"I guess when you put it like that, it does sound kinda bad."

"Sound kinda bad? It was one of the stupidest things you have ever done."

Ben sentiments had been echoed in town when Adam visited with Millicent and explained to her what had happened. Unfortunately, Millicent laughed when Adam described what happened in the street as she thought he and Hoss had been very clever. Adam wasn't in the mood for that and took a much more analytical approach as he thought about his relationship with this young woman. She was intelligent and could hold her own in conversation on any subject. She had an independent spirit and a great sense of humor. But there seemed to be no depth of emotion in her. She laughed and cried with ease and recovered quickly from either. She had no understanding of how Adam had things that smoldered within him for days. She expected him to dismiss anything that he found distasteful and move on to something he liked better. As they sat together on a wicker settee nestled in the corner of the front porch of her parents' home, she felt him move away from her figuratively and literally.

"Adam, what's wrong?"

"Perhaps we're wrong, Millicent. I came to you because I was troubled, and your solution is that I should forget about it. If I was able to forget about it, I never would have come to see you because of it."

"Are you telling me that you no longer are interested in courting me?"

"Yes, I think that is exactly what I'm thinking. I'm sorry, and I should have realized this sooner, but you and I have no emotional connection."

Knowing he was being too blunt but caught off guard by the sudden revelation about his feelings for her, Adam's misgivings were reinforced by her reaction. She spewed forth vitriol about him and how embarrassed she would be when people in town found out he had rejected her. There was no sadness in her remarks. It was all about what was wrong with him. He excused himself and walked away leaving her still fuming on the porch with a red face and a chest heaving with anger. His heart felt lighter at having made a decision he had needed to make but sad that once again a romantic relationship had ended badly. He didn't want to go to the saloon and have all sorts of comments about what had happened in the street that day nor did he want to go home and face his youngest brother and probably his worried father. He rode to the lake instead and sat on a big boulder thinking about his future until the sun dipped low alerting him to the need to ride home before he had to maneuver the treacherous terrain in darkness.

As Adam arrived at home, he hoped he wouldn't have to talk with anyone about what had happened because the day had drained him emotionally. He didn't get that wish though as his father walked into the stable as he was brushing down Sport.

"I've talked with Little Joe. He will be apologizing to you, and he had extra chores to do for a month as well as a restriction from going into town and that he has to pay you back for the hairpins he gave away. He had no right to do any of the things he did, but I wish you hadn't gotten so rough with him especially in front of people in town."

"As for getting rough with Little Joe, it was a lot less than I wanted to do, and I stopped when Hoss pointed out that people were watching. I won't be needing the hairpins. I broke off my relationship with Millicent. "

Surprised, Ben took a moment before responding. He had rather expected this development but not so soon. "Did what happened in town have anything to do with it?"

"Yes, but you don't have to lay this one at Little Joe's feet. It only made it very clear that she didn't have the depth of feeling for me that I had hoped. She said she loved me but never showed that she loved me. You don't seem bothered by the end of that courtship."

"I'm sorry that it failed, but I rather expected it. She didn't ever seem to have the love for you that I had hoped a woman would be ready to give to you."

"It seems that happens to me a lot. Rebecca, Laura, and now Millicent could so easily replace me with someone or something else." Adam could see that his father was ready for more discussion, but he was not. "Sorry, Pa, but this has been a difficult day. I'd like to go to bed to see if sleep will make it all seem better by morning." Adam knew that wasn't true as did his father, but Ben could see that Adam didn't have the energy left for any more conversation. He agreed it might be best to talk another day, and that was how they left it. Ben put his hand on Adam's shoulder as they walked to the house together in silence.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Breakfast was relatively quiet the next morning as Adam refused to talk with Little Joe and Hoss and Ben did their best not to say anything that would get either Adam or Little Joe to revisit the dispute of the previous day. Each meal was tense like that for several days. Ben assigned Adam and Little Joe to different work keeping the two apart as much as was reasonable. Joe was sent to the breaking corrals as Adam began to work with the green broke horses. By Saturday, Ben thought that the most recent trouble between his sons would be behind them, but he hadn't counted on Little Joe's jealousy and resentment flaring up before then.

The problem was that while Little Joe rode bucking horses all day, he frequently had to hear comments about how his oldest brother would do things, and that seemed to happen most frequently every time he lost his seat on a horse and had to try again.

"Your brother, Adam, usually tries to calm a horse like that before he takes a ride on him."

"You know, Adam got dumped a few times too when he was younger. He's more careful now of what a horse can do when it stops suddenly like that. He knows that sometimes the dang beasts are just trying to think of a new way to throw ya. He's gotten real smart about it."

"Yeah, I've seen Adam ride as many as twenty horses to a standstill in one day. You oughta be real proud to have a brother like that."

"Now Adam is quite a bit taller than you so he can ride those bigger horses easier than men who are shorter and smaller."

Of course, the men knew they were bothering Little Joe with their comments so they made more and more of them watching the young man's face get red each time even as he struggled not to say anything in response. It was a game to the men at the breaking corrals, and there were bets on who would say the thing that finally made Little Joe lose his temper and yell something about Adam. Every time they saw a reaction from Little Joe, they snickered. Hazing someone was a lot more fun when they reacted like that.

Meanwhile Adam and his crew were riding the green broke horses putting them through their paces and teaching them what they would need to know depending on what each horse was destined to do. Some were to be part of the Ponderosa herd of horses available for ranch work and trail drives so they learned about working with cattle, cutting right and left as well as starting and stopping quickly. Others were being sent to the Army and were being trained to ride next to other horses keeping the same even pace in single or double file. The Army would buy green broke horses, but they paid quite a bit more for horses that were already trained. When there were enough men available on the Ponderosa, they trained the horses in order to get that extra profit. Frequently then Little Joe saw Adam riding by the breaking corrals. It seemed to Little Joe that all he was doing was riding around while Little Joe was being bounced on the backs of horses that did their best to unseat him.

Of course, it was difficult work to get an untrained horse to follow your commands. By the end of the day, pressing knees and feet against the horse hundreds of times took its toll. Adam was as tired as anyone working horses ten hours a day. He went out early so that he didn't have to risk confronting Little Joe in the stable as he did chores. He had done that once and knew that an argument was in the making if he spent any time in the stable as Little Joe did his chores as well as Adam's and Hoss' as demanded by Ben. As a result, his workday was longer than Little Joe's as he started before he did and ended his day after Little Joe had already gone into the house.

As his sons continued this behavior for days, Ben knew what was happening and why, but he was unhappy that it was the only way his sons were not fighting. He didn't know that Little Joe was being egged on by the hands at the breaking corral, and thought that things were calming down instead. He hoped that after some time had passed, both brothers might be able to reconcile. He did see too how stiff and sore Adam was because of the work he had been doing. Ever since the fall that could have paralyzed him, his back was a problem for him stiffening up with too much work or with cool weather. Ben assumed it would be worse again as they went through another winter, but at least then there wouldn't be so much difficult physical labor.

On Friday, Little Joe wanted desperately to get away to tell his newest gal that he could not take her to the dance on Saturday. His chance came after dinner when Ben settled into his red leather chair to read and wait for Adam to come in with a report on the horses for the Army contract. Within a few minutes, Ben's eyes were drooping and soon after, there was a mild snoring coming from the chair. Hoss smiled as he saw his father sleeping. He had noticed how tired he had looked and assumed he wasn't sleeping well at night because of the tension between Adam and Little Joe. When he saw Little Joe grab his hat and gunbelt, he stood to follow him out of the house.

"You know Pa told you that you weren't to go nowhere for the month. Ifn he finds out you took off and only a few days after he told you that, there's gonna be hell to pay."

"Who's gonna tell him? Adam isn't here to snitch on me, and Pa won't even notice I'm gone unless you say something. I gotta go tell my girl that I can't take her to the dance tomorrow because I have two brothers who can't take a joke."

"Little Joe, that ain't fair. You know as well as I do that it weren't no joke."

"You too? You're getting to be as bad as Adam. He can't smile without his face cracking. You gonna be an old sour puss like him if you keep hanging around with him. You got to remember to have some fun too."

"Little Joe, I have plenty of fun, but there hasn't been much around here lately with the way you been talking about Adam and the way you look at him every time he's around. He didn't make no trouble for you. You made it for yourself."

"From my side, it looks like Adam is the one responsible. If he'd just let it go, Pa would be in more of a mood to ease up on me. Now, I gotta get going so I can be back before Pa wakes up." Little Joe walked out the door closing it softly behind him as Hoss shook his head in frustration. As Little Joe rode out of the yard and across the pastures in a shortcut to Patsy's house, he saw Adam walking and leading one of the horses he had been training. He knew he should go find out what the problem was and give his brother a ride because it looked like he needed it, but then he wouldn't be able to talk with Patsy so he rode on. He knew Adam had seen him, but he decided that it was one act of retribution for all that he blamed on Adam.

An hour later, Adam arrived at the Ponderosa and led the horse into the stable. Hoss had been waiting for him because even though he had been working late each day, this was well beyond the time he had expected to see him.

"Are you hurt or the horse?"

"By now, it's a little bit of both. He got a nasty stone bruise and has a loose shoe. He's quite a wonderful horse, and I didn't want to take a chance on hurting him permanently. But walking him for two hours hasn't done my back any good. I'm not sure I'll be able to go to the dance tomorrow, and I was looking forward to getting away from here for at least one night."

"I'll take care of the horse. You go see Hop Sing. He'll get you a hot bath and then probably a poultice for your back. I know he's holding a plate for you in the warmer."

"I guess I'll have to put up with a string of complaints for walking in so late and so dirty."

"Nah, walk in the way I saw you walk in here, and he'll feel sorry for you."

"Yes, I bet he will. Thank you for taking care of the horse. Did Pa give Little Joe permission to leave?"

"Nah, he just went on his own when Pa fell asleep in his chair. I guess you saw that Cochise was gone so you knew."

"No, I was too tired to notice his horse was gone. I saw him when I was walking. He saw me but kept on to wherever he was going."

"He left you out there to walk back? He knows better than that. He should have helped you out or at least gone and got you a horse to ride."

"It's all right. I think I'll take tomorrow off, and that will get him upset enough anyway. There's no need to stir that pot any more than it already is."

"All right. I'll let it go, and I'll see you inside later."

And when it was later, Adam was seated in the blue chair with a hot poultice behind him and his stocking feet up on the table. Ben sat in his chair fuming. He had awakened, and on seeing Adam and Hoss, he had asked where Little Joe was. Adam said Little Joe was gone when he got home, so Hoss was the one who had to tell their father that Little Joe had left to go see Patsy. Ben knew it was unfair but unleashed some of his anger at his two older sons blaming Hoss for not stopping Little Joe from leaving and Adam for working such long hours that he wasn't there to stop Little Joe from leaving either.

"Pa, you know that's not fair. Hoss probably told Little Joe not to leave. I'm sure you didn't want him to forcibly restrain him. You know how much trouble that would have caused. As for me, when have you held us responsible for things that happened in our absence when our absence was caused by working?"

"Well you worked even later than usual today, and I was worried."

"My horse got a bad stone bruise and had a loose shoe. I had to walk him back. That's when I saw Little Joe riding. I had no idea what he was doing. As for my feet on the table, I'm not sitting this way to irritate you. I have one of Hop Sing's poultices on my lower back, and he told me to keep my feet up."

"I'm sorry. I apologize to both of you, but this streak of bad behavior by Little Joe lately is bothering me quite a bit. I don't know why he's been acting this way."

"We have no idea either. Hoss and I have talked about it some, and we don't know of any particular thing that set this off other than it seems like it's been building up for some time."

"Hoss, perhaps you could try to talk with him? He's avoiding any kind of talk with me, and we know what's likely to happen if Adam tries to talk with him."

"What about tonight, Pa? You know when he gets back, and you say anything about him being gone, he's gonna be mad."

Feeling his temper rise at Hoss' words, Ben did his best to remain calm. "I know, but I can't ignore the blatant disregard for what I told him to do."

"Pa, maybe you should lighten up a little on him. He's not a boy any more."

"Adam, you still refer to him as the 'kid' rather frequently."

"I know, Pa, but I don't mean anything by it. It's just hard after all these years with him so much younger and smaller than me not to think of him as my kid brother." Seeing his father's look and Hoss', Adam relented. "I'll try not to say that, but I can't promise it won't slip out when I'm not thinking about it."

Ben nodded because he understood how hard it could be. He had tried to curb his use of 'boy' when referring to his sons and found it nearly impossible to do after so many years of talking to people about his 'boys' and all that they did. When he and Roy talked, they both talked about the 'boys' as if they weren't men. Any discussion was precluded though when Little Joe walked in and saw the three of them sitting together. It was as if his temper rose just by seeing them especially when he saw how angry his father was as he looked at him with those eyebrows bunched and his lips pressed into a thin line.

Little Joe immediately assumed that Adam had told their father that Little Joe had ridden out. "I suppose you told him that you saw me when you were walking back? You just couldn't wait to tattle on me, could you?"

"Young man, no one tattled on you. I woke up and realized you were gone so I asked and found that you had left to go see Patsy even though I had told you not to leave."

"You said I couldn't go to town. You never said I couldn't go see Patsy. She doesn't live in town. Besides, I'm a man, and I shouldn't have to stay at home like a boy just because you don't like what I do."

"This is still my house, and you will not speak to me that way in my house. Now I was thinking of doing as your brothers suggested and lifting that restriction as inappropriate to someone your age, but the behavior I've seen so far makes me inclined not to do that."

Ben waited Little Joe out. He was furious with his youngest son, but enough angry words had already been said. If Little Joe wanted to be treated as a man, he had an opportunity at this moment to show that he was. It took quite a few tense moments until Little Joe apologized. Then Ben suggested he ought to apologize to his brothers for his remarks as well as for ignoring Adam's need for help earlier that evening. Little Joe spit out the words with great effort and no sincerity, but at least he said them and made no more incendiary remarks.

"If you can promise to try to curb your behavior, I will rescind the rest of what I said you had to do except for paying Adam back for the cost of those hairpins."

"Does that include going to town?"

"Yes, it does, but, mind you, if you embroil your brothers in any more stupid stunts like that last one, I'll have to reconsider everything I've said. I want to see more mature behavior from you."

Little Joe was thinking that there was no way he was going to be as dull and serious as he thought his oldest brother was, but at least he refrained from saying that. He nodded.

"Well, I'm tired. I think I'll go up to bed. I hope that the three of you can be civil to one another so that I can get some sleep." With that, Ben walked up the stairs without a backwards glance. He could only hope that Little Joe had gotten the message, and he hoped too that at some point, Hoss could find out what was troubling him so and making him act the way he had been acting.

Adam said nothing but closed his eyes and relaxed. He hoped there would be nothing more said because he was as tired as his father. Hoss looked over to see Adam had closed his eyes before he asked if Little Joe wanted some help the next day, and he did.

"Maybe you can even ride over in the morning to tell Patsy that Pa changed his mind."

Hoss should have left the conversation end there, and Adam nearly groaned when he heard the next thing that Hoss said.

"Adam's taking the day off tomorrow so we'll have the three men he was working with helping us too. They can get horses ready out at the breaking corrals and get 'em used to the saddle and such so maybe we can finish early tomorrow and have plenty of time to get ready for the dance."

"He's taking the day off? Well isn't that just dandy!"

Keeping his eyes closed, Adam concentrated on breathing normally and not letting his anger rise. Little Joe at least got the message that Adam was not going to talk to him about his comment. He knew too that he shouldn't say any more after getting that reprieve from their father. Any loud comments were likely to bring their father back down those stairs. Little Joe said nothing more but walked stiffly up the stairs to be alone. Once Hoss heard Little Joe's bedroom door close, he turned to his older brother.

"Sorry, Adam, I never shoulda said that especially knowing he was already so riled up."

"It doesn't matter, Hoss. He was going to be angry about it tonight or tomorrow morning. You just got it out of the way sooner."

"I just wish things could settle down around here. It ain't been much fun being home lately. It's a darn shame when it's more fun to be working than to be with your family."

"I agree with you, Hoss. I wish there was a way to make things better, but until we know why there's a problem, we can't work at resolving it. It does seem that I might be the center of what's bothering him, but no matter how often I've thought about that, I can't think of anything I did that was so awful as to get him to act the way he has been."

"Yeah, well, I know you didn't, but I'm going to bed. I've had trouble sleeping lately too."

With that, Hoss walked up the stairs. It was only the next morning that he realized he had left Adam with the tasks of locking up and banking the fire for the night. With his sore back, Hoss knew that must have been difficult, but in Adam's usual way, he had not complained., but Hoss was kicking himself for his lack of consideration. He planned to tell Adam he was sorry about that as soon as he saw him that morning.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

The next morning when Adam wasn't down the stairs to share coffee with him, Ben went upstairs to find out if he was all right and suspected he wasn't. He knocked softly on Adam's door before cracking it open, and found his son as he had found him many times in the months since that accident when he fell from the house he had been building for Laura. He was sitting naked on the side of the bed with one hand on the footboard. He had a sheen of sweat all over him and looked up at his father rather sheepishly.

"Sorry, Pa. It tightened up a lot overnight. I can't stand up."

Moving to Adam's side, Ben reached behind him to try to massage his lower back muscles. "Here, I can't do that very well with you seated. I'll help you to lay back and roll over." Once Adam was on his stomach, Ben began kneading the muscles in his lower back. A few minutes later, Hop Sing was there with a warm poultice.

"No, warm up first. Then work muscles. Here, I do it."

Moving aside, Ben let Hop Sing take charge. He had been doing most of the rehabilitation with Adam for the past months. Ben did have a question though.

"Adam, with all the hours you've been working, have you been neglecting to do the exercises for your back." Silence was answer enough. Ben said no more. He seldom had to say much of anything to Adam because his oldest son would do what was right and expected without being pushed although he could be lax in taking care of himself. Ben simply reminded him of that. He stood watching Hop Sing use oil to massage the muscles in Adam's upper back before he moved the hot poultice from his lower back to his upper back. Adam groaned a little when Hop Sing first began squeezing the muscles of his lower back, but soon had relief from the muscle spasms that had caused intense pain.

"How long were the muscles in your back like this?" Again, silence was his answer. "You should have called out. Someone would have been in here to help you, and the muscles wouldn't have been so hard to relax. You know the doctor said that the sooner the muscles are massaged, the faster the spasms end and the muscles recover." Then Ben had a revelation. If Adam had called out, the one who would most likely hear him, because his bedroom was next door, was Little Joe. Adam had not wanted to initiate that contact especially for his brother to see him so helpless. "Little Joe would have helped you or at least gotten me or Hoss to help you. You can't let your pride get in the way of getting help when you need it." He knew Adam wouldn't argue with him on those points, but he probably wasn't convince he ought to have done it either. Ben shook his head and left as Hop Sing finished the massage. Adam would likely sleep for several hours now that his back had relaxed. Ben knew that Hop Sing would be checking in on him periodically and trusted him to take care his son as well or actually better than he could do it. Hoss and Little Joe were still at the table when he got downstairs.

"There are no more hotcakes. I suppose Hop Sing is too busy taking care of our older brother to bother with cooking for the rest of us."

"Little Joe, Adam was in a lot of pain. Hop Sing put a poultice on his back again. Perhaps if you had given him a ride last evening, he would be in better shape today."

Guilt as well as embarrassment because of his behavior the previous day had Little Joe in a bad mood. He hated feeling that way and unreasonably blamed his brother for that too. Ben raised his eyebrows and looked at Hoss who nodded. He would do his best to find out why Little Joe was acting the way he was but knew it could be a very difficult task. They did chores together, and Little Joe said almost nothing only saying what was necessary to get the tasks done.

"You want to ride on over to tell Patsy that Pa changed his mind?"

"If you don't mind, I will. I'll be back as fast as I can, Hoss. Thanks."

"Maybe when you get back and we're working, you can tell me what's been bothering you so much lately."

"Sure, Hoss, you can ask me anything. I'll be back soon."

Little Joe's mood had improved considerably, Adam was sleeping in his bed, and Ben was working at his desk. Hoss looked forward to a day with no squabbles, and those had been rare for a while. He got the men at the breaking corrals to begin organizing the horses for the day's work. Hoss was relieved too that Little Joe was true to his word and arrived back at the breaking corrals as quickly as he had promised. He had a smile on his face and got to work immediately. With Hoss there as well as the three hands who worked with Adam most of the time, there was no hazing either keeping Little Joe in his good frame of mind. By lunchtime, Little Joe told Hoss that he was willing to talk.

"You know, I guess at first, I didn't realize why I was so upset with Adam, but I've been thinking about it this morning. It's more than the usual stuff that I always complain about. You know, he calls me 'kid' and tries to boss me around." Seeing that Hoss was about to say something, Little Joe was quick to interject some things. "I know he's older, and I know he's got a lot more experience. But how am I ever going to learn if I have to stand in his shadow all the time. You know I want to do things myself and have people recognize me for what I can do besides following orders."

"All right, now nothing there is new. You and Adam been at odds over the years about those things. What made it worse?"

"It may surprise you, but it was what happened with Laura." Hoss was surprised and it might have been even more accurate to say that he was shocked to hear that. "Hoss, he didn't do anything to fight for her. He just gave up and let Will have her. He said he loved her, and then in one day, he up and lets her walk away with another man who was seeing her behind his back. What kind of man does that?"

"He said he didn't love her enough, and if Will did, he wanted the two of them to be happy. He didn't love her enough to be married to her. I think he was relieved that it was over."

"Oh, Hoss, that's a bunch of hogwash, and you know it. He was down in the dumps for months afterwards, and don't tell me it was because of his back. He's been in pain before, and it usually only makes him more stubborn about working and doing what he wants to do regardless of the pain. No, this time, he laid down and gave up."

"Now, all this anger you got against Adam is because of that? It don't hardly seem to be enough to make you so all fired mad at him most of the time."

Joe had the good grace to look a bit sheepish then. "No, there's more. When I go into town, people talk about him. They say all sorts of nasty stuff about him, and how he was fooled by Will and then wasn't even man enough to do anything about it. They say things about how that fall paralyzed more than his back. I know I shouldn't let it get to me, but it gets my temper up every time."

"They ever said anything like that to me, I'd a pounded on 'em."

"No, they would never say anything like that to you. But they say things so that Adam can hear, and he doesn't do anything about it. He hardly ever goes in a saloon any more. People are talking that he's lost his manhood."

"That still seems like it's more a problem for Adam than you."

"It would be except they compare him to me. They also say things about me taking orders from half a man. Now what does that make me? To have him push me up against a wall like he did the other day. You know what that makes people say about me? And two weeks ago, he dragged me out of that saloon like I was a boy."

"Little Joe, there was two men in there fixing to shoot you full of holes. Adam was just saving you from them."

"Yeah, like I can't do it for myself, you mean."

Hoss could hear the anger rising in his younger brother. Now a lot of what had happened made more sense. Adam had not talked with Little Joe about what had happened. He had talked with their father often, and when Hoss pushed him to talk, he had explained his feelings and thoughts to him as well. Ben and Hoss knew that Adam was fighting the anger that arose every time he had to listen to comments in town, but all three of them agreed that if he reacted to the comments, there would be even more of them. If he ignored them, eventually they would tire of their game, and it would stop. Little Joe didn't know that, and he only saw that Adam walked away from a fight as if he was afraid to do anything about it. For the next hour, Hoss talked Little Joe through the conversations that he had had with Adam as well as the reasoning behind Adam's lack of reaction to the nasty comments made about him in town. He finished with the way he understood Adam's reaction to his younger brother especially those that irritated Little Joe the most.

"Adam's been taking care of us for years. He spent about six or seven years taking care of you before he left for college and then picked up where he left off when he got back. You were still only about eleven then so he was the one Pa expected to watch out for you when he wasn't there. Adam done the same for me, but I'm closer in age to him so eventually he got used to me doing things on my own. He only does what he does cause he's looking out for you and worries about you. He even said yesterday that he'll try to stop calling you 'kid' but that it's hard cause you been his kid brother for so long. He don't mean nothing by it. He calls you kid like he calls me Hoss."

"Really. He said that?"

"Little Joe, you got to stop thinking the worst of him all the time. Adam would give his life to save you. He stood in that street this week knowing that he was facing three cowboys who were mad at you, but he faced 'em down because that's how we were going to save you from more trouble. He was mad about it, but he did it, didn't he? He didn't walk away."

"Why doesn't Adam talk to me this way?"

Hoss looked at Little Joe and smiled. "Most of the time, would you let him? Especially lately? Seems to me you and Adam used to talk things through a lot until you decided you didn't need to know anything he knew and could do it all yourself without talking it over. Now Adam talks things over with Pa and with me. I talk things over with Pa, and Adam, and with you. I know Adam and Pa get into those arguments, but that's just their way of getting it all out. They're never mad really. They've only gotten used to talking things out that way. Adam says what's on his mind better sometimes when he's like that. When he gets a chance to think about it too long, he most times keeps his thoughts to himself too much."

"All right, Hoss, you made your point. I'll do my best to get along with Adam, and I'll stop saying the things I do just to get him mad." Hoss looked sideways at Little Joe as if to confirm that he had actually heard his younger brother admit that. "Yeah, I do, and you knew it anyway. I'll do my best to stop it. It doesn't help that the hands out here have to bother me with comments about Adam all the time."

Hoss nodded. "Why do you suppose they do that?"

Little Joe had never really wondered about that because he thought he knew. As he did think about it though, he realized that they didn't necessarily like Adam better or admire him more or at least not that much. They were doing it to rile him up, and it had been working perfectly. Little Joe pursed his lips and nodded.

"You get it now, don't you. They say those things cause you get all riled up. My guess is that there's some betting going on about how long it takes you to explode over it all."

"Yeah, and now I understand better why Adam doesn't respond to the insults he hears in town. The more he reacts, the more they will do it."

"Now you got it. Adam's still got a lot to teach you even if it's by example."

"Well, I wish he be willing to let go of some of the responsibility around here too."

"He will. He can't wait until the two of us start taking some of that off his hands. Let's go grab some lunch. We done talked away the whole lunchtime, and we still got some work to do."

"You're not going to tell Pa and Adam what we talked about, are you?"

"Not if you don't want me to. You might want to tell them sometime, you know, clear the air and all."

"I will, but not right now, all right?"

Hoss agreed and the two rode to the house and walked inside with smiles. Adam was seated in the blue chair. He said he was fine when Hoss asked, but the dark crescents under his eyes told them that he had had a rough night.

"You think you'll be going to the dance with us tonight?"

"I doubt it Hoss. My back hurts, and I don't want to see Millicent so soon either."

"Why?"

"Joe, I broke up with her earlier this week. It wasn't going to work out."

"Ah, sorry, older brother. She seemed nice."

"She is nice, but she isn't in love with me, and I doubt she ever would be. It was better to end it now before it went any further. No, I plan to take it easy tonight and tomorrow. I should be ready to get back to work then on Monday."

After lunch which went more smoothly than any meal for the four of them in months it seemed, Ben pulled Hoss aside to ask if he had talked to Little Joe and that was why things were so much better.

"We did, but what he told me was just for me to hear for now. When he's ready, he'll talk with you and talk with Adam, but he ain't ready for that now."

"Thank you, Hoss. Now if we can just keep things going like this, I'll sleep a lot better at night."

"I think we all will, Pa. Ain't none of us been getting a good night's sleep lately."

Things went well for several days. Little Joe and Hoss went to the dance, and Little Joe ignored any negative comments that were meant to make him angry. He began to feel a bit smug and superior by the end of the evening knowing that those people were frustrated and could do nothing about it. Sunday dinner went well, and Monday morning, Adam got up and his back felt fine even if there was a slight tightness there. It was nothing he couldn't handle so he smiled and headed down for breakfast. He took a deep breath when he got outside and couldn't help smiling. He realized he hadn't been smiling much lately and resolved to do more of it.

Each day, Adam and his crew worked with the green broke horses, and Joe and his crew worked at breaking the horses they had gotten on a foray into the hills to collect wild horses. It had been a particularly successful trip gathering horses this time. Food was scarce in the hills after a spell of dry weather, and the horses had been easier to catch because of it. After four days of unrelenting hard work, Little Joe decided that everyone was due a treat. When he and the men went out in the morning to take wild horses to the breaking corrals and green broke horses to the corral by the stable, he followed the suggestion that the hands had made and slipped one of the wild horses into the group of green broke horses. Joe snickered while he did it, and the men thought it was going to be great fun. It certainly was a lot easier to work when the boss was Joe and not Adam who demanded a hard day's work for the pay or Hoss who wouldn't put up with any slacking off either. They expected some great entertainment when Adam or one of his men mounted up on what they thought was a green broke horse only to find that the only thing the horse was broken to was wearing a saddle but not with a man in it.

The week had been going well so as Adam selected a horse from the milling stock in the corral, he had no negative thoughts. The sky was clear, the breeze was soft, and the temperature was pleasant. He felt more relaxed than he had in some time. The horse he pulled seemed a bit skittish so he walked him next to the corral fence to make it easier to mount up. He talked softly to the animal and stroked its cheek and its neck. Once it seemed that the animal had calmed enough, he put his foot in the stirrup and mounted up in one fluid motion swinging his leg up and over and hopefully into a stirrup before this horse got edgy again. However edgy was a great understatement of what happened next. The corral gate was open as men were riding horses out. The horse Adam had chosen was the unbroken one who had been somewhat docile after the early morning ration of grain and hay as well as a bucket of water. However a man in the saddle was too much. Bucking and then twisting before charging from the corral only to go through a series of jumps and bucking once more in the pasture, the horse got more and more frenzied. The only men mounted up were on green broke horses and were unable to ride to assist Adam who needed help to get off the crazed horse under him. Hoss ran for his horse as did several others, but it was too late. A horrified gasp went up from the men watching as the horse caught a hoof in a hole and went down throwing Adam who luckily rolled away instead of being trapped beneath the horse. Hoss was there first and had to ignore the loud shrieks from the damaged horse as he raced to his brother's side.

"Are you all right? Anything broken?"

"Only my backside. I haven't ridden a bucking horse outside a corral since I was a sixteen and did it on a dare. Damn, that's an awful sound."

Hoss helped Adam to his feet as his older brother surveyed himself and found nothing more serious than bruises developing. His back wasn't any more sore than the rest of him at that point, but he doubted that would last. A gunshot ended the noise, and the sudden silence left everyone sober. Little Joe was soon at Adam's side.

"I'm sorry, Adam. I never expected anything like this. I thought you'd get bucked off, and we'd have a laugh. I'm so sorry. It was just a prank. I had no idea it would go so wrong."

As Little Joe talked, realization gradually dawned for Adam and then for Hoss. Their anger could not have been measured against any scale. Hoss moved toward Little Joe, but Adam stepped between them. With his hands firmly planted on his hips so he wouldn't swing at his little brother, Adam stopped with his face inches from Little Joe's.

"A prank! It's not a prank when someone could die! Life is not a game! You can't play with lives like you did with your little toy soldiers. It's time to grow up, kid!"

Adam shouted into Little Joe's face and spittle hit the young man and made him angry. He pushed Adam away from him, and that was all it took. Adam took a swing connecting with Little Joe's chin, and the fight was on. Both were bloodied by the time Ben arrived and ordered an end to the fighting. Ben had no idea what had happened, but the fury in Adam's eyes, the disgust that Hoss showed when he looked at his younger brother, and the dead horse let him know that something terrible had happened. He knew that this one wasn't going to be easily sorted out and resolved.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"It wasn't even my idea to start with so I don't know why Adam thinks that I'm automatically the one to blame. Some of the hands came up with the idea and thought it could be funny."

"Joseph, you were the one in charge. Have you forgotten that your mother died falling from a horse."

"Yeah, but everyone keeps saying how Adam has been riding bucking horses for twenty years. I thought he could handle it. I didn't know the horse would go out of the corral with him."

"With no one to make sure the horse stayed in the corral, there was every chance he would go out of the corral. How could you be so irresponsible to think that there would be anything to laugh about with a man riding a bucking horse with no one to help him?"

"I guess I didn't think about nobody helping him."

"That's just it. You don't think. You deserve everything Adam gave you for putting him in that situation. No one could know what would happen with a surprise like that."

After forcibly restraining Adam who had wanted to continue to go after Joe, Ben had ordered Joe to get some shovels and bury the horse that had been killed. Hoss helped Adam to the house by grabbing his arm and made sure he stayed there when he got there. Then he came back to help bury the horse which would help him to release some of his angry energy. He hoped too that he could get Little Joe to see what he had done without taking a poke at him too because that was very much what he wanted to do. As it turned out, he didn't have to say much of anything as Little Joe worked it out for himself after being yelled at by their father who had stalked off in disgust at his youngest son.

"I know it was dangerous, but I guess I didn't think about how bad it could get at the time the men told me the idea. I never expected the horse to have to be put down. I guess I should have thought it through before I let anything like that happen. I should have remembered who the boss was, and that it was up to me to either do it or not do it. I guess I can't blame the men. I was the one in charge, and it wouldn't have happened if I had said no." Hoss said nothing so Joe knew he was drawing the correct conclusions. "Adam really has a right to be mad at me this time. Hoss, I'll apologize, but I swear to you too that I won't pull any more pranks like that ever again. Maybe just some little silly stuff but nothing where anyone could get hurt."

"I hope you mean that, little brother, and I hope you carry through on it too. For a moment there this morning, I was worried that I was only going to have one brother left. I don't never want to feel that way again because you or anybody thought something like this was gonna be funny." Hoss was relieved that Little Joe had worked out what he should do without any prodding, and he was also relieved that the smells of freshly dug earth and green grass growing around them had masked the smells of the dead horse. He prayed that the lesson might have finally sunk in with his little brother.

"I wish Adam didn't always assume I was the one behind any trouble that happens here."

"Joe, he doesn't do that."

"He did this morning."

"Joe, we all did! It's because you were in charge of the horses so no matter what happened, you were the one responsible. I know you hold a lot against Adam, but most of it, you shouldn't. He can make some mean comments sometimes, but that's about it."

"I guess we all do that sometimes. Well maybe all of us except you. You're always nice."

"Adam does his best to be nice to you, but you don't make it easy for him at all. Do you know that he's the one who got Pa to lift the restrictions on you? I know you don't want to believe it, but he knows what it's like to be a man and have Pa still treat you like a boy. He's on your side a lot more than you think, but fool stunts like this make him powerful angry. I gotta say when I saw that the horse had to be put down, I was mighty angry with you too. I know you never meant no harm, but way too much, you don't think about what might happen. You think about only what you want to happen. Pa says you're high strung and impulsive. Sometimes it just comes down to being stupid."

There was some anger behind those words, and Joe felt it.

"Hoss, I meant what I said. I won't be this 'stupid' ever again."

True to his word, Joe began to treat his work and his family with more seriousness starting by having a talk with the hands about hazing and pranks clearly spelling out what was acceptable and what was not. He spent some time talking with Adam and explaining the things that he had explained to Hoss. He knew it wasn't an excuse for his behavior, but thought that Adam would appreciate his honesty. He did, and the two began to spend more time together especially talking about horses. There were still pranks and silliness but none that resulted in harm to anyone or anything except sometimes adding a bit to the laundry. As Adam slowly regained his trust in Joe again, the two of them got on better and better with each other. For a time, it seemed as if there would be no more problems for the brothers until the trail drive when some of those kind of silly little stunts by the hands resulted in tragedy and turmoil. It was doubtful that anyone could have foreseen to what some hazing of the new hands would lead. If they had, the few chuckles they had at the expense of a few green hands would not have seemed at all worth it.

The trouble all started innocently enough when Joe and some of the hands laid out a plan for Nate Bork who was surly and uncooperative. It was his first trail drive, but he acted as if he knew it all and didn't need to take instructions from anyone. With his attitude, he was on the bad side of both Adam and Hoss who thought perhaps a little hazing would bring him around or make him quit. Either one of those options was preferable to letting the young man sow his ill will around camp. Hoss had asked Adam to let Nate join up for the drive because his family had a run of bad luck and needed some cash. Nate's father, Isaac, seemed a reasonable man, and they both knew his brother Clayt who was a serious type who took nothing from anyone but was known as a hard worker. Isaac had worked hard too for many years even if he had little to show for it. Things had taken a turn for the worse when Clayt served in the Army in the west during the War. Isaac couldn't keep up with the work, and Nate was too young to do all that Clayt had done. Most believed that Clayt's serious attitude was because of what he had seen and done during those difficult years and what he had found when he finally was able to come home. No one realized the resentment harbored by both Isaac and Clayt or that they impressed those dark thoughts on Nate. It must have been galling to all three of them to have to ask for Nate to get a job working for the Ponderosa.

"Adam, we got a real problem with that Nate Bork. He's riding drag so far back that he ain't doing nothing."

"How far back is he?"

"Far enough back that the dust has mostly settled by the time he gets there. He's letting the rest of the drag crew round up all the strays. When I talked with him, he said he thought he oughta stay on back there to make sure the rest of the men didn't miss any."

"Hoss, I'll talk to him."

"You've done that a couple of times already."

"I know, but we can't strand him in the mountains. If things don't improve, we'll let him go as soon as we clear these mountain valleys. Once we're on the downslope, I'll pay him off, and we'll be rid of him."

"I think the boys got a few surprises cooked up for him before them. You know that nobody likes a slacker on a trail drive. Makes it harder for everybody else."

"Just what kind of things?"

"I heard 'em talking as we came in for dinner. The usual stuff. Rattlesnake rattles, salt in his coffee, and stuff like that."

"All right, but don't let it go too far. As ramrod, you need to make sure we don't have trouble over all of that."

"Don't worry. I reminded 'em all especially our younger brother that only small stuff and nothing with his horse. I told 'em I don't want any retaliation that affects us getting our work done."

The hazing only made Nate more surly and uncooperative so Hoss asked Joe and the others to curtail those activities. He talked to Adam about it because he was frustrated.

"Good. Sounds like you handled it just fine. A couple more days and he'll be gone. We won't miss him at all. Now let's get some dinner and see if we can get everybody in a better mood."

"You gonna bring out your guitar tonight? Singing some good songs always seems to cheer the men up."

As they had been talking, Joe had walked up behind them. He slapped a hand on each brother's shoulder. "Yeah, bring out the guitar. We need a nice fun evening."

The three brothers had gotten on well during the drive. Adam was trail boss, Hoss was ramrod, and Joe had charge of the remuda and was assistant ramrod much as Hoss was assistant trail boss. Just the day before, the three of them had ridden together at the end of the day to discuss their plans and chanced on a small spring. As they stood there watering the horses, Adam sighed deeply.

"That looks as inviting as a tub of hot water right about now."

"I know what you mean. I feel ten pounds heavier with three weeks of dust and sweat."

Without saying anything, Joe began peeling off his clothes. He looked at his brothers as if to wonder why they weren't doing the same. Soon the three of them were in the water splashing each other and having a great time. By the time they got back to camp, they felt quite a bit better. Now that wonderful evening was going to be followed by another if they could convince Adam it was time to have a guitar and singing night. It would have been a good night too except for the comments by Nate who must have heard about them being in the spring the previous night.

"It's like we're being bossed around by three sissies. Yesterday they get all naked and gotta take a bath together while the rest of us are sweating and working. Now they gotta sing like some girls would do at a hen party."

The three brothers heard the remarks, and Joe was ready to stand and fight. Adam put a hand on his arm to hold him back, and Hoss hissed instructions to him to that effect. Adam and Hoss had talked to Nate about his work and knew the young man was in a foul mood. He had not been specifically told that he was going to be fired, but he could read the writing on the wall. Unfortunately, that had been the only effect on him as he continued to shirk his work and did his best to be surly to everyone and insulting to the Cartwrights. Adam had made up his mind with those last comments that Nate would be fired as soon as they could safely release him. That meant only a few more days of tolerating his behavior. The night of singing was as much fun as anyone had hoped after Nate's comments. Most chalked it up as one more thing to hold against Nate. By the next morning, everyone was back to work, but several hands who were most resentful of Nate's bad behavior escalated the hazing trying to get him to quit knowing that Adam wouldn't fire him up in the mountains. He had salt in his coffee and sand under his hotcakes. When he went to mount up for the day's riding, he found that his saddle had been placed on the most cantankerous horse they had. With Joe in charge of the horses, Nate assumed he was the one to blame.

"Cartwright, you coward, why don't you face me instead of playing these tricks on me?"

"I didn't play any tricks on you."

The yells drew Adam's interest so he walked to where the men where getting the horses saddled for the day. Many of them had already ridden out, but a few were standing and watching the confrontation between Nate and Joe.

"You too cowardly to even admit what you done? You're jealous of me, and you been trying to get rid of me since the first day of this drive. You're mad that your brothers hired me to help you out cause you can't get the job done yourself."

"You're ridiculous, and if you don't shut your mouth, you'll get yourself fired. My brothers can barely tolerate you now."

"And whose fault is that, huh? You been making my life miserable since I got here. Today is the final straw."

Joe had turned to mount up on Cochise not realizing that Nate was drawing down on him. He would have shot Joe in the back except Adam drew and shot him. Men rushed to the young man's side. The dark blood oozing from his right side indicated a liver shot. Adam stood at his side looking as sorrowful as anyone could.

"I'm sorry, Nate. I was aiming for your gun arm but you moved forward when I shot. I'm sorry. I never meant to hit you like that."

The apology and Adam's solemn demeanor as well as the silence of all the men around him scared Nate. "Am I doing to die?"

"I'm sorry. Out here, we've got no way to stop the bleeding inside. We'll make you as comfortable as we can." Adam's voice was gentle and soft.

"You may as well shoot me in the head then. C'mon, you wouldn't let a horse suffer and die slow. Shoot me and get it over with. You can't hate me so much that you'd let me suffer, would ya?" Nate's voice grew weaker and higher pitched as he talked.

Hoss was there with the bottle of whiskey from the chuckwagon. Adam pulled out the cork with his teeth and knelt beside Nate offering him the bottle.

"It'll help ease the pain, and maybe you'll go to sleep."

"That'd make it easier on you, wouldn't it? I'll drink your whiskey to ease the pain, but I'm staying awake cursing you and praying I'll meet you in hell real soon. If my pa and my brother have their way, it'll be soon enough."

Nate died about an hour later. Contrary to his wish to remain awake, he gradually lost consciousness, and at the end, slipped away quietly. Hoss and some of the men buried him. Joe stayed with Adam and did his best to console his brother.

"You had no choice, Adam. You saved my life, again. He was bound and determined to cause trouble even if he didn't know that he was the one who was going to pay for it."

"Joe, were you part of the hazing of him?"

"Only a little at first, but I stopped and advised the others to stop when I realized what a sourpuss he was. I had no idea they had started up again."

"A little salt and a little sand. It's happened to all of us on our first drives. I guess he didn't know that. It was only little salt and a little sand. It's not something that should lead to anyone dying."

"He was destined to die violently, I guess. He certainly pushed and pushed everyone. Sooner of later he was going to push someone into doing something about it. I only wish it wasn't you who had to do it. Thank you again for saving my life. I never thought anyone would pull a gun over something like that." Joe had nothing left to say as words seemed so inadequate to the situation.

Hoss returned then and put his hand on Adam's shoulder. More than anyone, he knew how killing someone, especially a man as young as Nate, would lay heavy on Adam's soul. He knew too that nothing he could say would help. He would do as he often did and simply be there at his side in silence. That spoke louder than any words he had that he supported his brother and loved him. For the rest of the trail drive, Adam was more sober than usual, but even Joe said nothing about it. Everyone knew that when they returned home, Adam would go to tell Isaac that Nathan was dead.

Once the brothers and the hands returned home, telling Isaac Bork that his son Nathan was dead was the first thing Adam did even before he went to the Ponderosa. Later as he rode away from the Bork ranch house, he was tense feeling as if a bullet might strike him at any moment. He didn't unduly hurry but he kept Sport moving along and did take a route that was a shorter angle to the trees that would stop a bullet if one came his way. It was a relief to reach the trees without anything happening, and he took a deep breath and exhaled noisily. After what Isaac had said to him, he expected he would likely feel this way for weeks or even months to come until something happened or Nate's father got over his fury and accepted his son's death.

Isaac had known his son was dead as soon as he saw Adam ride into his yard. If Nate had been alive, it would have been him riding into the yard and bringing money that the family needed. Instead, Adam had been there with an envelope of cash that he said were Nate's wages. Isaac had thrown the money in his face and demanded to know what had happened to his son. When Adam explained what had happened, Isaac was furious.

"You filthy coward. You picked on my boy until he couldn't take it, and then you shot him down like a wild dog in the street."

"It wasn't like that. We even told the men to stop the teasing when it was clear that it only made your son angry. There was nothing terrible that was done. It was only the usual kind of stuff that happens on trail drives all the time."

"How many men have you killed? How many times will you make excuses for yourself and your murderous ways? All you Cartwrights care about is getting more land, more money, and more power. An ordinary man's life ain't no concern of yours. You just shoot them down when the mood strikes ya, don't ya?"

"It wasn't like that at all. I told you that Nate lost his temper and was going to shoot my brother in the back. I tried to shoot is gun arm but he stepped forward as I shot. I didn't mean to shoot him and kill him. I didn't want him to die."

"Why didn't you warn him then? Why didn't you give him a chance to back down?"

"There wasn't time. He was already drawing his pistol before I drew. I couldn't even warn my brother that he was going to be shot in the back. There wasn't time."

"You're making excuses. You're lying. He never woulda gone against you. He woulda known he was gonna get killed."

"I'm sorry you feel that way. You can talk to any of the other men who were on the drive. They will tell you that it happened just the way I said it did."

"Oh, I'll be talking to the sheriff, but I doubt that will do any good seeing as how he's thick as thieves with you Cartwrights. Let me tell you though. If he doesn't arrest you and make you pay, me and Clayt will take care of it ourselves. We'll make sure you pay for murdering Nate."

Clayt had walked out of the house then, and Adam didn't see him again. There was nothing left to say so he had bid Isaac goodbye and mounted up to ride home. As he wove his way through the trees, he had to wonder if Clayt lay in wait for him and would ambush him on his way home. He stayed alert, but he heard birds chirping so assumed there probably wasn't anyone ahead of him laying in wait. He couldn't be sure though and didn't relax until he got inside the stable at home.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"Isaac can be cantankerous, but I can't believe he would do anything illegal especially to attempt murder." Ben was concerned after Adam told his story, but found it hard to believe that Isaac would actually do any of the things that Adam suspected he might do. They sat after dinner and discussed what had happened.  
"Pa, you didn't see him. He was furious, but there was more to it than that. He seems to be holding a long-term grudge. I don't know why. We've helped him out of a few jams in the past, and we hired Nate on when he said they needed the money but that he needed Clayt to do the work around the ranch because he had more experience than Nate."

Ben was thoughtful for a time, and his sons waited because when he looked like that, he was thinking through some things from the past. He got that faraway look and usually frowned a little just as he was doing at that moment. "We had words over fifteen years ago when I made the first big acquisition of property to the Ponderosa, and we didn't even call it that then. It was just our ranch. Adam, you were away at school. I think it was your last year. You may remember I wrote to you about this. Anyway, Isaac wanted that property too, but I put money down on it first so he didn't even get a chance to make an offer. I had heard that the people who had cleared that land and started to fence it were heading to California instead. They thought they would have a better chance at making a good life out there, and they didn't like the weather and the isolation here. I made them an offer, and they trusted me to pay them so we shook on it. I paid that money on time and in full too."

"Could he be angry about that after all these years? Ifn that's true, we must have a lot of enemies just waiting for a chance to get even." Hoss didn't hold a grudge about things. He reacted to it when it happened, and then he moved on. He definitely couldn't see the benefit of hanging on to a grudge for over fifteen years.

"Pa, maybe we ought to tell Roy all about this. He could have a talk with Isaac and Clayt. Maybe he could get them to see reason."

"Joe, I like the idea of telling Roy, but I don't think it's going to do any good. Isaac said he was going to report the shooting to Roy so he could arrest me, but he said he didn't think that would happen because we're 'thick as thieves' with Roy. I doubt he would listen to any reasonable argument that Roy could make." Adam didn't see an easy solution to the situation, and he definitely didn't want any more violence. He was still carrying some guilt over what had happened to Nate and thought that somehow he could have handled the situation better.

"Well, what are we going to do then? We can't just let them plot over there on when and where they're going to shoot Adam."

"Well, thank you so much, little brother, for caring so much."

"Oh, it's nothing. I'm only worried that if I'm with you, they could shoot me by accident. Clayt never was much good with a pistol." After Joe made those statements, he grinned and put a hand on Adam's shoulder.

Adam moved as if to push the hand away like it wasn't wanted but it was a weak attempt showing that he wasn't offended but just playing along. Ben shook his head because he could see where this could be going. His sons had an inordinate talent for joking about threats to themselves, but he reminded them to be serious for a moment.

"For now and until we know otherwise, we need to keep a watch for Isaac and Clayt. Of the two, Clayt is probably the real threat. Isaac has trouble riding with the arthritis he has and seldom goes anywhere except in a wagon or carriage. Clayt is a good rider even if he isn't good with a pistol."

"He probably handles a rifle all right. I know he's been on hunting trips with some men from around here. Ifn he was no good with a rifle, we woulda heard talk. If he's good enough to take down game, then he's a threat." Hoss looked to Adam to see if he disagreed.

"Hey, Adam, when you were younger, didn't you spend time with Clayt?"

"Yes, Joe, I did, but we had different interests."

Both Ben and Hoss couldn't be sure why Adam's friendship with Clayt had come to an abrupt halt, but suspected they knew the reason and had talked about it at the time. Joe had been too young then to be part of that discussion. Clayt had probably wondered for years if Adam had divulged what had happened or not happened between them. Ben took the conversation in a different direction before Joe could ask any more questions about that.

"Adam, I don't want you going anywhere alone."

"Ya, Adam, you know that me and Joe got your back. We'll let the men know too so they can keep an eye out for any threats."

It was quiet as Ben looked to Adam to see if he had anything more to say. Leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, Adam stared at the floor. His family knew that he regretted killing Nate. It was probably going to bother him for a long time, and with threats hanging over his head, he wasn't going to be able to put it behind him either. It was going to be a main topic of conversation for some time probably. It didn't take long for it to be discussed even more. When some of the men got back from town and the traditional drinking to celebrate the successful conclusion of another drive and a safe trip home, some knocked on the door. When Hoss answered, he was surprised to see the men and find them nearly sober.

"We work you boys so hard you forgot how to have a good time?"

"Nah, it's just that things got a little serious in town. Hoss, Sheriff Coffee was asking us about what happened to Nate."

"What'd you tell him?"

"Well, we told him everything. I hope that was all right."

"Course it was. We ain't got nothing to hide so telling it all lets people know that. Thanks for doing that for us."

"Gees, Hoss, if we knew you would take it so well, we would have stayed in town later and had a better time. We were worried about it though because it sounded like he was investigating Adam like he done something wrong."

"No, Adam didn't do anything wrong, and we all know it, but Isaac don't see it that way and said he was going to the sheriff. Roy will investigate, and I'm sure he'll tell Isaac that there was no wrongdoing."

"Thanks, Hoss. Well, goodnight, and say goodnight to the rest of the family for us. We're sorry there's trouble because of what happened. If we had known he was going to take it so bad, we never would have teased the kid so much."

"It's all right. No one could have known he would do what he did. Now's as good a time as any to tell you the rest. Isaac made some threats against Adam. We sure would appreciate it ifn you would all keep an eye out to make sure nothing happens if you can help it."

"We'll do that, Hoss. We'll be glad to help out."

"Goodnight then. Have a good sleep, and we'll talk in the morning about what kind of work needs to get done over the next few weeks." Hoss pushed the door closed and rejoined the family in front of the fireplace. They had heard it all so there was no need to repeat anything. None slept well that night, and in the morning, as expected, Roy arrived to talk with them. Adam had dark crescents under his eyes and looked fatigued. He was sitting at the table pushing food around his plate when the knock on the door got their attention. Hop Sing had been complaining that no one was eating the good food he had prepared but took a break from that to answer the door and invited Roy into the house and over to the dining table.

"Good morning, Roy. The boys and I have been expecting you. Would you like to join us for breakfast?"

"Well, that's right nice of you. I thought you'd all be done with your breakfast by the time I got here, but I don't aim to say no to any of Hop Sing's cooking when I get the chance."

"Well, pull out a chair and sit with us. The boys only got home yesterday, and usually the day after that is a light duty day for everyone. Now I suppose you're here to talk about the trouble on the trail drive."

Hop Sing was smiling again and hurried to get a plate and utensils for Roy who scooped up some of everything for his breakfast. Hop Sing was pleased and retreated to his kitchen when it was clear there was going to be some serious conversation. Roy ate some and drank coffee making everyone but especially Adam anxious until he couldn't hold back his question.

"Are you going to tell us why you're here?"

"Now, Adam, you know why I'm here as well as anybody at this table does. Isaac Bork was in my office late yesterday making all sorts of wild claims about you and about how you 'murdered' his son. Well, before you get all mad and all, I have to investigate anything like this. I know you never woulda done what he said, but it's my job to look into things. By now I suppose you heard that I questioned the men who was on the trail drive with you. A few said they was elsewhere when the boy was shot, but there were enough who said they saw what happened to get a good idea of why Nate got shot. I wish you'd a shot him in the arm or leg, and yes, the men told me that's what you said at the time. According to them, you said right after it happened that you'd been aiming at his gun arm. I'm sorry you missed it."

Almost in a whisper, Adam responded to the last statement. "Not as sorry as I am."

"I know, boy. I know how hard it is when you kill someone especially when you was trying not to. Now to put this to rest, I need written statements from you three. Once I have those, I can file it all away. No one can dispute that it was a tragedy without anyone doing anything that was against the law."

"Roy, we had crossed the crest of the mountains. We were in California when it happened."

"Would you rather I handed this over to strangers to investigate?" Adam's silence was his answer. "Now, let's get started. Adam, I'll take your statement first. Now don't leave anything out. The more detail, the better."

After nearly two hours, Roy was satisfied that he had everything in the statements that he needed. Ben walked him outside to say goodbye as his three sons headed out to get to work. Mostly they planned to ride out to check on the herds and pastures to see what kind of work needed to be done first. They were relaxed but vigilant knowing that there was a possible threat out there for Adam. It was midday before anything happened. Hoss looked up the hillside near where they were riding and saw a flash of something. He rode next to Adam and pushed him to get low in the saddle and all three reacted by kicking their horses into a gallop and heading toward cover. Rifle shots pinged all around them, and when they stopped, the silence was oppressive.

"What did you see, Hoss?"

"All I saw was a flash of something. It mighta been the sun reflecting off the barrel of that rifle. I don't know, but with everything that's been happening, I figured we'd play it safe and work out what happened afterwards."

"Thanks. If that was Clayt, at least with all three of us riding fast like that, he wasn't able to take a good shot. It's very difficult to hit a fast moving target at a distance. Joe, you all right?"

"I'm fine. Not one of those shots came anywhere near any of us. It was if he was trying to miss. Maybe he was only sending a message with that one?"

Adam and Hoss stared up the hillside where there was no movement at all. "Hoss, he could be right. We're safe here, but we're pinned down. If he wanted to, he could move positions on the crest of that hill and take more shots. The way it curves around to the side, we couldn't be ready for every angle."

"So you think this was just to scare us?"

"Probably to scare me, and make me edgy. I doubt the Borks will try anything too serious until Roy finishes his investigation. With the statements he has, I doubt there will even be an inquest. That will rile them up a lot more." Adam was moving his eyes along the crest of the hill looking for any kind of movement. He saw nothing except rocks and brush.

"Well, I'm a mite riled up myself right now. We should be safe on the Ponderosa. Besides, now we'll be late for lunch, and Hop Sing might just throw it in the trash, and he promised to make some doughnuts too."

Despite their circumstances, Adam and Joe had to laugh. Hoss looked at them with that look that said he didn't understand their laughter even though of course he did. Hoss was better than anyone at defusing tension in a situation, and he knew his references to food usually got a reaction from his brothers. A less tense Adam could think more clearly and a less tense Joe was less likely to do something impulsive so Hoss thought that he had done his part. Alert for any change in circumstances, Adam suggested that his brothers move toward the horses while he kept watch.

"I'm the one they want. You two should be safe. Once you get mounted up, you can bring Sport closer and keep watch when I mount up. Then we can ride hard for home and those doughnuts."

"All right, older brother. I like that plan of yours. Ready, Joe?"

With a nod from Joe, Hoss ran to Chubb assuming that Joe was going to Cochise. Hoss grabbed Sport's reins then and led him close to the rocks where Adam was keeping watch. As Joe took over the watching, Hoss maneuvered so that Chubb blocked Adam from view until he mounted up. With no delay, the three brothers took off riding as fast as was safe. There were no more shots. When they got back and were rubbing the horses down, Joe had a question for Adam.

"Why didn't we go up that hill to find whoever was doing it? It could have settled things for good if it was Clayt."

"If we went up the hill, and he was there, he could pick off one or two of us before we got halfway up there. He picked the spot well. If he wasn't there, we would have been wasting time. The smart thing to do was to get out of there."

"Adam, it does make me nervous that he was on the Ponderosa. The ranch is so big that there's no way we can keep him off of it, and he could be anywhere you are."

"Thanks. I think I felt that target on my back get a little bit bigger."

"Nah, I mean, maybe you ought to think about doing some work up at the timber camps. He won't hardly be likely to find you up there, and meanwhile things might calm down some here. Joe and me can handle the work by ourselves for a while."

"What's happened now?" Ben had walked into the stable to find out why his sons were late for lunch and had heard Hoss' comments. He looked at the three of them and could see that there was quite a bit of worry in all three. "Well, is someone going to tell me why Hoss thinks we ought to banish Adam to the timber camps when he's been home less than a day?"

Hoss and Joe didn't want to say anything knowing that their father would be very upset, so Adam knew he had to tell him. It seemed that being the oldest sometimes meant you had to be the bearer of the bad news. "Someone took some shots at us as we were riding back for lunch. None of the shots came close so it was probably someone sending a message rather than actually trying to shoot one of us."

"Sending a message? Here on the Ponderosa? I have a mind to go over there and have a talk with Isaac myself."

"Pa, we don't know that Isaac is aware of it. That could have been Clayt acting on his own. He's had a grudge against me for a long time."

Adam sighed. Carrying another man's secret was a burden but hadn't seemed like so much until Nate was killed and Isaac made those threats. He saw how worried his father was and wished there was some way to alleviate that. The four of them walked to the house in silence for there was nothing any of them could say to make things seem any better than they were.

The next day they didn't need Roy to tell them that Isaac had found out there weren't going to be any charges filed against Adam and that there would be no inquest either. When Roy arrived on the Ponderosa, there was a lot of commotion. Once he got inside, he found Hop Sing tending to a wound on Adam's upper inner thigh.

"Now what's happened here? Somebody shot Adam?"

"Yes, Roy, somebody shot Adam, and we know who that somebody is, don't we?"

"Now, Ben, did somebody see who shot Adam cause the way you said it makes me think nobody did?"

"No, no one saw it, but Adam was getting some tools ready to take to the timber camps and he was shot. Somebody was obviously lying in wait up on the hill. Hoss took some men up there, and it was clear that someone had camped there last night. They must have been waiting for Adam to be outside. Roy, you need to do something about those Borks before anything worse happens."

"Ben, I know what you're thinking, but you ain't got any proof, do ya? Now did Hoss follow the tracks of the one who done the shooting?"

Frustrated, Ben let Hoss answer. "I did, Roy, but other than heading in the general direction of the Bork ranch, I can't say. He headed to the road, and there were no more tracks to follow what with all the traffic in and out of Virginia City every day."

Adam winced as Hop Sing pressed a bandage tightly against his wound and then bound another bandage around his leg to hold it in place. "Roy, it was just a crease, but Clayt always did shoot low from a distance. I guess I'm lucky he does. Any further up and I might have found celibacy a lot easier to maintain or I could have bled to death. Maybe he's a better shot than I thought and that's what he wanted."

As usual, Ben cringed at the dark humor, but the other men laughed. Roy said that at least there was no way for any harm to come to Adam while he stayed in the house to recuperate. Ben was feeling relieved for the same reason, and that was how they left it for the time being. If Clayt was skulking about on the Ponderosa looking for a chance to kill Adam, he was going to be very frustrated. Just to be safe, Ben put men on watch at night and kept a lantern burning on the front porch and in the garden behind the house. Adam spent his time doing paperwork or reading and even got in a few chess games with his father.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

With back and leg muscles cramping, Adam was getting more and more uncomfortable. Chilled, hungry, and thirsty, he was naked with his hands tied behind a small tree and his legs bound to the tree. He had tried for hours to loosen the bonds on his hands but with no success. Clayt could not have left him in a more vulnerable position. He knew his hands were wet and that it had be blood from his chafed wrists. He wondered what Clayt was up to wearing his clothes and riding his horse. He had waylaid Adam as he made his way back from the timber camps where Adam had been marking trees for a week. He needed a bath and a shave, but at the moment would have settled for being cut loose from this tree. His back was scraped too from rubbing up against the rough bark trying to get at least his legs free as well as from twisting around trying to get some slack in the ropes that bound his wrists together. Luckily most predators didn't hunt so early in the day or he would be in an even worse predicament, but if he didn't get free before the sun began to drop in the sky, his chances of surviving were horrendously poor. He remembered every word that Clayt had said and wondered at the meaning of some of what he had said. The whole scene had a surreal quality to it as he remembered.

"Get down off that horse and don't even think of trying anything. With this shotgun, you and your horse won't ever ride anywhere again."

After dismounting, Adam was ordered to undress. He paused before complying, and Clayt had laughed at him.

"Take it all off. I won't do anything to you. You may get a little chilled, but that's it. See, I only need your clothes for a while."

Once Adam was naked, his hands had been tied behind him around a small tree. The ropes were very tight, and no matter how much he strained, he couldn't get one hand close enough to work on the knot on the other wrist. Clayt had stripped down after he had Adam secured and then dressed in the black shirt, pants, and hat with the distinctive sweatband. Last he donned the light mustard colored barn coat. It was the chilling effect of the last words he said before he rode out on Sport that had Adam the most worried.

"Now to go commit some mayhem that everyone will think is your doing. It was lucky that we're both about the same build and dark. No one is even going to question the identification."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Well, me and Pa figured if I killed you, I'd probably hang, but we'll do enough that you may not hang, but you'll wish you had. Now, on to the mayhem."

Dressed as he was, it was clear that Clayt might be able to make people believe that it was Adam doing those things, whatever they were. It was nearly dusk when Hoss rode near and called his name. Adam nearly cried with relief but called out to Hoss as loudly as he could. His throat was dry, but after a few attempts, he managed to yell loudly. A short time later, Hoss rode up to where he was tied.

"I figured you were in trouble. I knew it wasn't you who tried to rob the stage. It didn't make no sense even if they were right and that was Sport the guy was riding. Then I got to thinking that if he had your horse, you must be up here somewhere without one. Course, I didn't expect to see you like this. Was it Clayt?"

"Yes, and he said he was going to commit mayhem and get it blamed on me so I'd go to prison. What did he do?"

"He tried to rob the stage. He had on a mask, but I'm guessing he never expected Will to be on that stage. Apparently as soon as he saw Will and Will said your name, he shot him."

Adam gasped not only with the pain of the ropes being cut and the movements that sent sharp pains up his arms but with worry over Will. Hoss saw it.

"He'll be all right. Bullet took him in the side instead of the heart. Will was lucky too that Clayt isn't a better shot. There's a posse out looking for him right now except of course they think they're looking for you. Now I ain't got nothing along to clean you up where you're bleeding, and I've got nothing for bandages either. I guess you're going to have to wear his clothes and ride his horse too."

Walking very slowly and hoping he wouldn't fall, Adam got his leg muscles working again and slowly pulled on Clayt's pants and shirt. That's when he noticed that his gunbelt was still laying on the ground. He picked it up and strapped it on. Hoss noticed.

"Now why didn't he wear your gunbelt? Seems to me if he wanted people to think it was you, that woulda helped."

"The more I know about this, the more I think it's Isaac's plan. Clayt is left-handed."

Hoss grinned. It was a difficult situation but they already had enough evidence to prove that it wasn't Adam who had broken the law. They had Clayt's clothes and his horse. Adam' wrists and back were abraded and bleeding. Adam gratefully took the canteen when Hoss offered.

"Go ahead. Drink as much as you want. I don't need any right now. How do you suppose he knew that you would be coming home today?"

"I don't think he did. He was probably waiting for me. When you and Joe rode with me to make sure I wasn't being followed, he must have been following but at a distance. He couldn't get close enough to do any harm, but once the two of you rode back, he probably guessed where I was going. He would never get near me in a timber camp so he waited out here for me to ride back. I rode right into a trap."

"Can't blame yourself for that. It was a right sneaky plan."

After several big gulps of water, Adam leaned against a tree. "We probably need to be very careful riding back. He must be planning on coming up here to switch the clothes again, but he doesn't know you found me first. By the way, what did he do after he shot Will?"

"What I heard was that he turned and rode off. He didn't get anything from the stage."

"Then where did he go, I wonder, if he didn't come right back here?"

"Ya think he went running to papa for help?"

"Seems to me that might be where we could find him."

"Oh, no, not we. Pa said to get you back to the ranch. Remember, there's a posse out looking for you, and they think you tried to rob the stage and that you shot Will."

Hoss didn't have to remind Adam that many people probably thought he had a good reason to shoot Will. Despite his desire to go confront Clayt, he knew that Hoss was giving him good advice. "All right, let's ride home and get this mess straightened out."

That got a grin from Hoss, and the two brothers mounted up for the ride home. They didn't make it that far before the posse intercepted them. At first, no one including Sheriff Roy Coffee realized that it was Adam riding with Hoss. When they did, they were a lot of angry comments directed toward Adam.

"Now, you all just hold on there. You're in my posse, and that means you do what I say. Right now I want you all to be quiet. I got some questions to ask." Roy turned from the posse to Adam. "Where have you been and why are you wearing those clothes?"

Adam explained everything as thoroughly as he could. Hoss pointed out to Roy that Adam's injuries were consistent with his story, and that Hoss had found him tied to a tree.

"You want me to take you back there, Roy, and I will. You know Adam would never of done any of what they said he did. I got another question for ya. Did any of 'em mention that the robber was left-handed? Cause Roy, Clayt left Adam's gunbelt behind and wore his own cause he's left-handed."

"Sheriff, you're not believing this are you? You got eyewitnesses that say it was him, and we all know he had a reason to shoot Will." Only one member of the posse spoke but several grumbled in support while others looked to Roy for leadership because they didn't know what to think.

"Now you men be quiet. I'll check this out, but I got to tell you, it makes a whole lot of sense. Now Clem, I want you to ride on over to the Bork ranch and see if Clayt is there. If he is, ask to see the stable to see if Adam's horse is there. Send one of the men to go talk to the stage driver. He would probably be the best one to ask if the robber was left-handed or not. I'll ride with Adam and Hoss to make sure they get to the ranch house all right, and I'll check out Adam's injuries. If they're like Hoss says, then I'm guessing everyone is going to have to take them at their word. Now, any more questions?"

"Yeah, you believing his story?"

"I am. It makes a heck of a lot more sense than to believe that Adam Cartwright tried to rob a stage dressed in his black clothes and riding his horse and then shooting his cousin. Now, Clem I got one more question for somebody to ask the witnesses. Ask them if the robber had a beard cause I don't recall any of them saying that. Adam looks like he's got a week's worth of whiskers there."

Adam interrupted. "Two days. I got tired of shaving and going out to meet trees. They didn't care."

There were chuckles then from the posse. The more they knew and thought about things, the more they were agreeing with Roy's assessment. Roy told them to be careful at the Bork place. "I don't want any of my posse members to get shot. If it looks like there might be shooting, hold off and come get me."

By that night, it was all settled. Once Roy got a good look at Adam's injuries, he was absolutely sure that no one was going to think Adam did anything wrong and that he had been tied to that tree all day. Once Adam had a chance to wash in the tub, Hop Sing put salve and bandages on his abrasions and took special care to bandage his wrists with thick bandages to cushion them as well as to stop the bleeding. Ben shaved him then because of the bandages and also because his hands were still slightly swollen. Ben told him he ought to go to bed, but Adam insisted he wanted to be there when word came about Clayt and what the witnesses had said. Clem arrived just before dark. He was alone which they thought was ominous until he started talking.

"Clayt Bork is dead. When we rode into the yard at his father's ranch, he opened fire on us from the stable and Isaac started shooting from the house. We were caught in a crossfire and had to fight for our lives so no one was worried about killing the Borks. Isaac is shot up pretty badly. Some of the men took him to town, but I doubt he's going to make it. Adam, we brought your horse back. I doubt you want the clothes Clayt was wearing, but I've got your hat if you want it. Roy, he had a left-handed pistol rig on with Adam's black clothes and hat. I got ten witnesses to that so there shouldn't be any trouble getting people to know the truth."

"Clem, you hear anything from the witnesses?" Almost as much as Ben, Roy hoped to have this whole mess completely resolved by that night.

"Yeah, Roy, I sent Dusty to ask Charlie and I met him on the road as I was riding here. He confirmed what we suspected. The robber was left-handed. He had shaved probably yesterday. He had some stubble but not the whiskers that Adam has there."

Clem looked over at Adam who was sound asleep in the blue chair. He must have closed his eyes as soon as Clem told him that he had brought Sport back. The tension of the previous weeks, the long days working at the timber camp, and then being tied to a tree for a day had exhausted him. Ben smiled gently as he looked at him resting peacefully in the chair. He pointed at the door and everyone filed outside without saying anything more and let Adam have his nap in peace. Once they were outside, Ben had a question, and if he hadn't asked it, Roy would have.

"Clem, did Isaac give you any reason why they were so determined to get even with Adam even after so many people said that what happened was Nate's fault for drawing?"

"He said a bit, but it didn't make that much sense to me. He said Nate was the only one who could have carried on the family line. Now why would he say that? He still had Clayt at that point, and even if he was quite a bit older, he could still have married and had some children."

That rather confirmed a theory that Ben had and which he had discussed with Hoss. By Roy's look, he had been thinking much the same thing. Clayt wasn't interested in women, and Isaac knew it. He had placed his hopes on Nate who was a surly young man. Clayt probably went along with Isaac's plans in a desperate attempt to get some approval from the man. Now the whole family was lost for Clem had said that even if Isaac didn't die immediately, he wasn't likely to live very long. After Roy and Clem left, Hoss and Joe stood on the porch with their father.

"You two didn't seem surprised by what Clem said Isaac said after he was shot." Neither Ben nor Hoss said anything. It was a topic men seldom discussed. Joe nodded. "So Adam probably knew, and they were worried that he might tell someone. It wasn't the land deal that upset them so much probably. They should have known Adam would never have said anything."

"Son, it was their fear that drove them. I have to think that was some of what made Nate so angry all the time. It's not fair to expect your sons to live the life you choose for them. Each man should get to chart his own course."

Suddenly those conversations that Ben had been having with Adam took on a clarity that they had never had. Ben had been trying to convince Adam that his future was the Ponderosa. He had told him that his life was bound up inexorably with the land they had because his blood, sweat, and tears were in it. Now he knew he hadn't been listening to what his son was saying. He had been reacting from his heart because if Adam left and never returned, his heart would be wounded and likely would never heal completely. But perhaps he could find a solution in the middle. Perhaps there was a way for Adam to travel and satisfy his curiosity about the world as well as to seek his own way and still come back to them. He needed to think more about that and talk with his eldest son. Of course, first Adam needed to recover and get some perspective on what had happened, but then they would talk more about the future and what Adam wanted in that future. Ben looked up at the stars and made a silent pledge to his wives but especially to Elizabeth that he would do his best for his oldest son.

Inside, Hoss woke Adam and asked him first if he remembered what Clem had said. He did, and asked if Sport was all right. He was so Hoss assured him of that before asking if he was hungry. He was, and it was as if Hop Sing had been reading their minds. He brought out a tray of small sandwiches, fruit, and coffee. Hoss told Adam to sit right where he was, and within a few minutes, Hoss brought a plate of food and a cup of coffee to him. Ben decided that they could all eat by the fireplace. It seemed that they should be together at his time. Soon after finishing the food, Adam excused himself to go to bed. It was only a short time later that the other three headed up to bed too. It had been an exhausting day, and they planned to leave early the next morning to go to town to see Will.

When Ben and his sons got to town the next day, what had happened was the talk of the town. Quite a few people seemed to think that they had to come up to them and talk about all of it hoping to glean some extra details or juicy parts to add to the story when they told it. Ben and his sons were unwilling to feed the rumors and simply said that the official report and what they were sure was going to be the feature story in the newspaper told it all. None of them wanted to add in any details for the sooner the story died, the better. Only one question rankled, and made Adam and Ben bristle.

"Hey, you Cartwrights gonna buy up the Bork place now?"

Ben had told his sons that they were not even going to consider doing that because of how people would see it. They all exchanged glances after that question was asked, and then refused to acknowledge it heading directly to the doctor's office to see Will who was doing quite well and was being released with an admonition to take it easy for a few weeks. The doctor shook his head at Will's response that he couldn't take it easy for weeks because he had work to do. He sounded so much like a Cartwright when he talked like that. He told Ben that he had some work to do in Nevada and then was heading back to San Francisco where he had established a home with Laura and Peggy. Clearly uncomfortable spending time with Will, Adam suggested it was time to go see Roy and make sure that everything was resolved satisfactorily.

After that was done, they did a few more errands, had lunch, and headed home. Adam leaned back in the carriage and fell asleep. Ben had thought that riding would be too much for his son after everything he had endured so he had insisted they take the carriage giving the excuse that his arthritis was acting up. He had asked Adam to take the reins on the way in saying if he felt better then he would do the honors on the way home. Adam probably saw through the subterfuge, but it was a measure of his exhaustion, mental and physical, that he acquiesced to his father's suggestions.

Over the next several weeks, everything settled back into a comfortable routine except that seemed to aggravate Adam's mood. Soon he was grouchy and prone to taking long rides by himself again. Ben suspected he knew what the problem was so he followed Adam on one of those rides. When he walked up to his son as he sat on a rocky ledge overlooking the lake, Ben wasn't surprised when Adam addressed him without even looking back to see who was approaching.

"Time for a talk?"

"Feel like you're stuck in a rut?"

"No it's more like the wagon overturned and the wheels are spinning lazily in the wind, squeaking and slowing down, and when they stop, it's over."

"You don't feel that you've accomplished anything?"

"Nothing lately. My life seems to have a routine. There are no challenges, nothing fresh and exciting to do. Life isn't exactly stagnant, but it seems so routine and predictable."

"Some people would take comfort in that." Adam quietly looked out over the lake, and Ben knew. "But not you. You want more, and it's out there somewhere. Did the letter from your friend Earl set off this latest bout of wanderlust?"

"No; maybe. All right, probably, but I was feeling that way already. He's been to Europe several times. Every time I get a letter from him, he talks about another country he's visited. Each time, I know, he's on official business, but he still gets to see so much and experience so much. Here the experiences are either doing the same things over and over, or events such as that with Nate and then with his family don't give me a feeling of accomplishment. Instead, I only doubt myself and wonder how I could have done things better. There's nothing lasting though. There's nothing I can look at and say 'I did that' and feel some pride."

"Adam several years ago, I never ever thought I would say these words, but perhaps you need to travel. Maybe you should take a year or two and go out in the world to satisfy some of your curiosity, try new things, and meet new people."

With a smile, Adam turned to his father. "For a year or two?"

"Well, you know that I don't actually want you to go at all if it was only for me, but for you, I see a need to do this. My prayer is that you'll come back here, that you'll always see the Ponderosa as your home."

"It will be, Pa, always. And thank you. I needed to make this decision, and you made it a lot easier on me."

"Good. We'll tell your brothers that you're going to go see the sea, see some of the world, meet some challenges, and then when you're ready, come back home. At least, that's the version I have to believe is the truth."

"Thanks, Pa."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"They shoot spies, don't they? And sometimes only after horrendous torture?"

"Adam, you won't be spying. You'll be visiting a friend from college, and the only thing you'll be carrying with you is your memory. I remember how you could remember the smallest details and wouldn't even need your notes when making a presentation. That's what this would be. You would travel openly, see the sights, and do whatever else you would do when you were on a pleasure trip. Then when you reach Gabriel's family home, you and he will of course go riding out over his father's property and you can talk with him. Hopefully Carlos will ride with you, and you can tell him these things directly."

After bidding his family goodbye, Adam had come to Washington to visit with his good friend Earl whom he had thought worked in the diplomatic service. Earl did, but it was a cover for his actual occupation which was working covertly with underground movements in countries in which the United States had strong economic interests. Once he realized that Adam was seeking adventure and fulfillment, he got permission to try to enlist him in his latest operation. They needed to get information to a key player behind the scenes in Cuba who wanted to end slavery in his country and wanted independence from Spain. Both of those things would significantly reduce his wealth, but Carlos Manuel de Cespedes was an idealist. Both Earl and Adam had gotten to know his cousin Gabriel very well in college before Earl took a job with the government, Adam went back to Nevada, and Gabriel went home to Cuba. Gabriel shared his cousin's vision for the future of Cuba.

"Why can't you go? You were as close to him as I was."

"Yes, but I work for the government and they would be very suspicious of me. If they checked my background and saw the countries I have visited, my life would be worth nothing. You, however, are a simple rancher's son from Nevada who has not traveled outside of the country in the past fifteen years. You might arouse slight suspicion simply because you are an American, but your cover story would be good enough for this one trip."

As Adam had traveled across the country, he had second guessed himself so much that he finally simply had to forget about the decision that he had made to leave the only home he had ever known. This was so different too than when he had left for college with a timetable for his return to the Ponderosa. This time it had been left up in the air. Hoss had hugged him fiercely before he left and made him promise to come home as soon as he could. Joe had wished him well and thanked him for showing him how to be a man. His father had said almost nothing, but what he said had been the most profound.

"Search for that dream you have, but know that if you need us, we'll be here waiting for your return."

The problem he had was he didn't know what his dream was. However as Earl talked, he started to get a better idea of what he had been missing, and what he wanted to do. Instead of agreeing, he asked Earl for time to think about what he had proposed.

"Of course you need to think about it. This is a risky undertaking, but so many could be helped if slavery can be abolished there as it has been in so many countries including our own recently. Meanwhile, how about coming out to the house to stay with us. Washington despite considerable progress is still a hot, sticky city besieged by swarms of mosquitoes in the summer. Our house is far enough from the city and up on a hill with natural breezes and a beautiful view in every direction."

"I'd like that. Marcia won't mind?"

"Marcia would be delighted with company. That is the one drawback to where we live. There aren't very many people with whom to socialize. Now while we're there, I have to show you this old stone bridge that must be over a hundred years old already. The construction of it is amazing. I can't see any kind of support beams anywhere. It's as if the rocks are holding each other up. As soon as I clear my desk of correspondence, we can go. It will take me no more than fifteen minutes. I need to alert the clerks on how to draft letters in response." An hour later, Earl rather sheepishly came out of his office where he had fielded innumerable questions from his clerks. He had worried that Adam had been bored by the delay but found him flirting with his assistant, Betsy, who seemed to be enjoying the flirtation very much. As Earl walked outside his office and signaled his driver to pick them up, he had a warning for Adam.

"Don't toy with Betsy. I don't want you to hurt her."

"Earl, I would never do anything that she didn't want to happen. I like her though." Looking sideways at Earl, Adam had to ask. "There's nothing between you, is there?"

Earl laughed. "Adam, you know Marcia. She hasn't changed. I am in love with her even more than when we first married. I have to say that having a wife who's pretty and intelligent helps keep a man on the straight and narrow."

"Helps if she's the jealous type too."

"That it does, my friend. That it does. I know too that my wife has the temper of an Irish lass. There's no woman worth the trouble I would be in if Marcia ever caught me straying. How about you? I would have thought you would need to beat them off with a stick, and yet here you are as unencumbered with family responsibilities as you were when we were in college." Earl saw the dark look that passed over Adam's countenance with that statement. He knew then that one of the things driving his friend was his failure to find and marry a woman of his choosing. He doubted that Betsy was the answer, but perhaps Adam could take some comfort there. Betsy had certainly looked like she was willing to offer that.

"I came close a few times. It never worked out."

Earl could tell that Adam wasn't ready to discuss any of those close times. Instead, he asked about Earl's children and about his work. There was a lot Earl could not tell him, but he did tell him about the places he had seen especially the architecture and the art of each place. He knew Adam's interests in those things and did his best to describe them in enough detail to give Adam a feel for what he had seen. When they arrived at Earl's home, Adam greeted Marcia warmly. He had always liked her and found her an excellent conversationalist. The two children were fascinated at having an actual cowboy in their midst. Once Adam got his things into a guest room, he spent over an hour regaling the two children, Kenneth and Leigh with stories of the west. Earl and Marcia had remembered Adam as a wonderful storyteller and were delighted to learn that his skill had even improved from what they remembered. When he told the story of his two brothers bringing an elephant to the Ponderosa and everything that happened because of that, they were all roaring with laughter. Then it was time for dinner, and Adam told stories more appropriate to dinnertime behavior but no less interesting. By the end of the evening, the two children did not want to go to bed, but Adam assured them that he would be there for a while and had more stories to tell when they were well rested. Kenneth shook his hand before turning to go to bed as instructed by his mother, but Leigh leaned over and kissed Adam on the cheek.

"Oh, your cheek is scratchy. Papa never has scratchy cheeks like that."

"Your father hardly ever has to shave. I sometimes shave twice a day, but I haven't since early this morning so I have some stubble. That's what so scratchy."

"I like it. It makes you look like a real cowboy too." With that and a shy smile, Leigh turned to follow her brother up to bed.

"Well, Adam if you're willing to wait another eight years, I think that Leigh would be very interested. She seems to have found you quite attractive already."

Smiling, Adam shook his head at his friend. "Don't let Marcia hear you talking like that. Your daughter will meet a fine young man someday. She won't have a second look for an old man like me."

"With you, my friend, I think the ladies will always be looking. You're older now just like me, but I noticed how Marcia fussed over you. You still have a way with the ladies." Again, Earl saw that look and wondered what kind of experiences had so disillusioned his friend and why he wasn't married. He supposed that it would take quite a bit more time before Adam was likely to open up about that.

"Now, Earl, where do you plan to travel next?" The obvious excitement in Adam's voice only made his answer harder to give, and Marcia came in the room then and answered it for him.

"He's not taking any of those kind of trips any more. He's a supervisor now, and he'll be sending younger men or at least men who do not have a wife and two children at home."

Earl shrugged. "I had a good run, and I was lucky. I was never arrested, and I think never suspected of doing what I was doing, but who knows. They could be waiting for me to do it one more time, and that could be the last time. After more than a dozen years of living with that, Marcia made me choose, and I chose my family. I've given good service to my country, and I still will do that, but I will no longer risk my life. I can tell you that I spied for the Union Army in the War. The Confederacy is gone now so I'm not divulging any state secrets, but I would ask that you tell no one because there are still those who would like to get revenge for what happened. Here in Maryland, there are still quite a few who sympathize with the lost cause."

"I seem to recall you telling me that you had been in Paris and London a few years ago. Did you travel to Britain and France then to work against the Confederacy?"

Earl didn't answer, but he wouldn't lie to his friend either. "I've put myself in a lot of difficult situations. I won't do that anymore. And if you choose not to travel to Cuba, I would certainly understand that. You have a perfect cover story though so I don't think there would be much risk."

"But there would be some?"

Earl nodded, but Marcia was worried. "Earl, you haven't tried to enlist Adam in your work, have you? My goodness, how would you feel if something happened to him? It's bad enough that you have these young men willing to play these roles, you shouldn't be recruiting our friends."

"Marcia, it is only to go visit with Gabriel in Cuba and bring them some information. He would not carry any documents nor collect anything there, and he could have a very nice visit with Gabriel and his cousin Carlos."

Surprised that Earl said so much about his work to his wife, Adam waited for their part of the conversation to lag before he asked and Marcia clarified the relationship. "It's because Earl and I worked together for the first few years. I don't think I would have tolerated him doing that kind of work as long as I did if I didn't understand its importance so much. But then the children came along, and I only worked in the office on occasion to help out. I still do so I'm always aware of current, ah, projects because I might have to help prepare documents or decipher some that come in. I'm probably telling you too much, but I know we can trust you."

"We're a very small group, Adam. In Britain and France, they have whole departments devoted to this kind of work. We are less than ten people and we work at the behest of the President and through the Department of War normally although we have been commissioned to do some work by other Departments."

"I had no idea this was the kind of work you did."

"And you never would have known except I need someone like you for this mission to Cuba. I still hope that after you think about it, you'll be willing to do it."

"It does sound like an intriguing challenge. When would I leave?"

"Adam, you're not seriously considering doing this, are you? I know Earl can be very convincing, but this is not a game. Even on a low-risk mission like this, you could be killed." Marcia didn't want to see Adam risk his life. She preferred not knowing the agents her husband now sent out on missions instead of going himself. If they didn't come back, she thought perhaps she wouldn't feel as guilty.

Adam looked at Marcia and a tiny smile tugged at the corners of his lips. "That's funny. I've had very similar conversations with my youngest brother about risking lives, but that was for things that should never have been done. This sounds like important work. I've been looking for something to make me feel of service to someone other than myself."

"But you helped your family build an empire out there in Nevada."  
"But that was for us, for me. I want to make an impact on the world, do something that matters, that's important to making things better."

"You could build a building or teach. Adam, there are many men who can risk their lives. There aren't that many with talents like you have."

"But, Marcia, perhaps my talents will make me better at this then because I have so many possible reasons for being somewhere, who would be suspicious of me?"

"Overconfidence is a killer, Adam. Try to remember that if you decide to do this. You never get to relax, never get to trust anyone, and you need to be ready for almost anything at anytime. If you aren't, your life could be forfeit."

Looking back and forth from Marcia to Earl, Adam had to ask more. "How dangerous is it?"

"This is probably less dangerous for you than for our other agents, but the government has been getting harder and harder on the people in Cuba. The two previous governors were reasonably lenient and willing to see some reforms take place. The new governor is reactionary. He has no interest in making any reforms and is removing the ones that were already done. He has jailed, deported, or executed many of the leading intellectuals in Cuba. The poet, Gabriel de la Concepcion Valdes, is in jail and is expected to be executed. The great thinker, Jose Antonio Saco, is in prison and our government is trying to secure his release to have him deported instead of executed. Anyone speaking out against slavery or injustice faces the same fate. Jail, execution, and expulsion are the main methods that are being used. If you went to Cuba, you would need to be exceptionally guarded in what you said and how you responded to questions. They are very sensitive to any criticism. If you were arrested, we could probably secure your release, but there are no guarantees."

"What about traveling with diplomatic protection?"

"You would be safe, but you could not do the mission because you would not be allowed to travel freely in the country. They know that spies often use a diplomatic cover so they would be very suspicious of anyone moving about the country under that guise. No, you would have to travel as any ordinary man would travel and be vigilant and careful without appearing to be either."

"What am I to do if I go?"

"We have messages for Carlos. We have a plan for how he can start a revolution without getting killed. It may take some time for changes to take place, but we want to try to limit casualties and disruption. He is being watched as are any others in Cuba who voiced support for the reforms. If he keeps quiet for now, he will be free to act when the time is right."

"I want to think about this for a while. When do you need my decision?"

"As soon as possible, but we could wait a week or two. You would need to start preparing then to get to Cuba. If you say no, we need time to recruit someone else."

"That's fair. I can give you an answer within that time frame."

For the next week, there was no more talk of a mission to Cuba. Adam found Betsy to be an enjoyable companion, and he invited her to attend the theater with him. On two nights, it was the two of them for dinner and then the theater. The third night, Earl and Marcia joined them. Then it was Saturday, and Adam took Betsy on a ride through the countryside. She was his guide as well as his companion. They had a picnic by the old stone bridge that Earl had mentioned to Adam and spent the whole day together. When Adam got back to the small house where Betsy lived, she invited him inside for coffee or tea. She could have added the me but didn't have to do that. She knew what kind of effect she was having on the tall dark rancher from Nevada. She guessed that if he wanted more, he wouldn't be shy in asking. At the end of the week, Adam sat in Earl's parlor having a glass of sherry with the couple and gave them his answer.

"Voy a ir a Cuba."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 **

"I've sent a letter to my family telling them of my visit to Cuba to visit Gabriel."

"It would be better to send a telegram and have a response in your pocket when you go."

"So it can be found in my possession when there's a search?"

"You're catching on to this very well. Yes, undoubtedly there will be a search. I would think especially after you visit with Gabriel and see Carlos. Seeing Carlos will raise suspicion. If you have some tangible evidence of your innocent intention only to visit with friends, that would help. It would also confirm your family in Nevada for them."

"What about my Spanish?"

"You're fluent but you speak with an American accent. I suggest you act ignorant of Spanish. Most Americans are. You could never use it to pass as a native, but it could give you some information if the authorities think you cannot understand them."

"How will I arrange for travel when I'm in Cuba then?"

"We have arranged for a boy to 'accidentally' run into you, although with Jose, it might be literally true. His name is Jose Marti, and he's only fifteen, but don't let it fool you. He is already well educated and dedicated to the cause of freedom. He will be your guide and take care of making any arrangements. His English is impeccable so you will have no trouble understanding him. When you travel, perhaps he can help you with your Spanish accent."

"How long will it take me to get there?"

"I think about a month."

"A month?"

"If you go directly from Washington to Cuba, that could also look suspicious. So stop in some places to visit like any man might when traveling to see the world. Are there any places between here and Cuba that you have been hoping to see?"

Lost in thought for a short time, Adam had a plan. "I'd like to see Savannah. From what I've heard, it escaped most of the devastation of the War, and it has some classic colonial style buildings. I'd like to see how they handle the heat. It might give me some design ideas. I've never seen an alligator. I suppose there must be places to see those along the way."

"Good, good, you're coming up with a plan that makes an excellent cover story too. I might suggest you would like to see St. Augustine too. There are excellent examples there of the old style Spanish colonial architecture. When you swing around the southern end of Florida, there are islands of the Bahamas that are simply beautiful. The people there welcome visitors. It would make a nice stop. Now, when you finish in Cuba, I suggest you book passage for France. It will uphold your story best not to have you return directly to the United States. When you get to Paris, go to the embassy and they will have your payment for this mission."

"Do you have something for me to do there too?"

"No, my friend, but I know that you will enjoy visiting there. When you come back, if you still have the desire to help, there may be something else for you to do. It will give you plenty of time to think about it and to decide if you want to do more. Marcia would not be happy to hear us talking about you continuing in this work, but you are well suited to it. You think things through and you plan, but I know in a tight spot, your instinctive reactions will help you too."

"When do I start studying what I have to tell Carlos?"

"We'll start in the office today by having you read over the document we have in the safe. Then over the next few days, we'll have you tell us about it like you would tell Carlos and ask you questions as well. It's very much like studying for a test. You always did well on tests."

"Yes, but I wasn't ever betting my life on the outcome before."

"Oh, I would guess you have put your life on the line more than once. By the end of the week, you should be ready to go. You'll need some clothing but local stores should have everything you need. If necessary, you can buy more in Cuba. It will help you to fit in better too. The less interest you draw, the better."

The next morning, Adam sat in Earl's office reading over the document that outlined a strategy for Carlos to follow. Adam understood the logic of it but wondered if Carlos would think so too. If he was like his cousin Gabriel, he would rather fight with everything he had than to try to wait out the opposition until they had to make concessions. Earl had an answer for him when he asked that.

"Carlos and Gabriel are husbands and fathers now. They have many others who depend upon them for a place to live and food to eat. That kind of responsibility makes a man look at things differently. It will be part of your job to convince them, but I don't think that will be difficult to do."

The logic of the argument was difficult to refute so Adam accepted it. He spent the rest of the day stating what was in the plan to Earl and then to Betsy when Earl was called away for an urgent meeting. When Earl returned, he apologized to Adam for not being there to help him before he sent him out to purchase clothing for his trip. Then he had a question for Betsy.

"It's not too difficult working with Adam, is it?"

"No, why would it be?"

"With all the time you two have been spending together, I thought it might be difficult to draw the line between professional and personal behavior. I know that at first, Marcia and I had that difficulty."

"It's not a problem because there is no personal behavior. Adam is a friend, and I have enjoyed being with him but he hasn't even kissed me. I have definitely gotten the impression that he isn't ready for any other kind of relationship."

Earl thought for a while. "And he hasn't told you either about what happened in Nevada?" Betsy shook her head. "It had to be something big, and maybe it was several things, but something has certainly made him more aloof and reserved than I remember."

"Maybe it's because he's older."

"No, Betsy, that doesn't explain it. He was always very respectful of women, but he certainly would never have spent a week with a lady without kissing her. He's holding back, and I wish I knew why. I can only hope it doesn't make him vulnerable on this mission. The Spanish like the French and the British, and even the Russians, seem to like sending a woman to try to find out a man's secrets."

"He'll do fine. He seems to have had a lot of practice in holding in what he's thinking."

"I hope that's true. His life could depend on it. Well, let's make sure he's as ready as we can make him so he can get started on schedule. He'll be traveling to Savannah and St. Augustine with a stop in the Bahamas before he heads to Havana. Anyone following him from Washington is going to see a curious rancher from Nevada trying to see things he hasn't ever seen before. That should get him into Cuba with no problems. Oh, and I want him to go to Paris when he leaves Havana so send his payment in the diplomatic pouch to our embassy there."

After a week of preparations, Adam began his journey. He spent nearly a week in Savannah enjoying the architecture, the restaurants, and the natural beauty of the area. He spent less time in the much smaller St. Augustine, but there he felt that he was living history. He traveled south in Florida and saw alligators and manatees. He had not known that there were such creatures as manatees and was fascinated by them. By the time he got to the Bahamas for some restful time on the beaches, he was tanned and feeling fit. He was glad that he had purchased lightweight cotton clothing for his travels. None of it was black. He bore little resemblance to that rancher who had left Nevada less than two months earlier. In his luggage, he had the telegram from his father wishing him well on his journey and reminding him to write. He took copious notes and made sketches of all that he saw so that he would remember and be able to write a detailed account of his trip or at least the sights and things that he had seen.

By the time Adam boarded a ship bound for Havana, he thought he was ready. He had gone over his story in his mind innumerable times but knew he would have to be careful that it did not sound rehearsed. As the ship sailed into Havana harbor, he had some butterflies in his stomach but overall was confident. Nothing happened in the first two weeks to shake that confidence. The young man who was to guide him must have been checking each ship that arrived. He sat with paper and easel sketching ships in the harbor. Because he was an art student at that time, no one would question his activity. When Adam disembarked from his ship, Jose gathered up his easel, rolled up his sketches, and packed up his supplies. By the time Adam neared where he was, he was ready. He dropped his box of supplies directly into Adam's path ostensibly because he was carrying too much. As he leaned down next to Adam who was helping him pick up his supplies, he whispered Adam's name. When Adam stood, he asked the young man about his drawing, and the two chatted about that as Adam walked toward the hotels that were near the harbor. Anyone listening would have heard only an innocent conversation.

"Have you been in Havana before, senor?"

"No, I haven't. I've decided to take some time to see places I've never seen. This was close so I decided to come here next as I plan to visit a friend I met in college."

"I'm am going to college too, senor. I am studying art. I was drawing ships in the harbor. I would like to sail out on the sea in one of them someday."

"I hope you get your wish. Could you recommend a hotel and a restaurant if you are so familiar with the harbor?"

"I hope you get your wish. Could you recommend a hotel and a restaurant if you are so familiar with the harbor?"

"Senor, I know of a great restaurant and a nice hotel with clean rooms. I can show you as you are new to Havana."

"Thank you. And as you are my guide and I would guess a student struggling to make ends meet, I would be pleased to share your company over a meal at my expense. It is the least I can do to pay you for your service."

"It is not necessary, senor, but I would be pleased to accept so that I do not offend you."

The two laughed and continued to a restaurant for dinner. From a location in a second story office, two men watched them walk away. One nodded to the other and headed out to follow the pair. Jose was too young to be under scrutiny, but for a new arrival, especially an American, to make his acquaintance so quickly was suspicious to the men whose job it was to watch everyone who entered the port city. The watcher spent the next hour sitting at a table near enough to Adam and Jose to hear all of their conversation. He heard nothing suspicious and planned to report that, but he did want to have a look at the American's luggage. He gave his report later, and his partner agreed that the luggage should be searched. They sent a man to follow Adam and to take watch at the hotel for an opportunity to do just that. Adam suspected they would want to do that so after bidding goodnight to Jose who agreed to be there the next day to serve as Adam's guide, he went for a short stroll. When he got back to his room, everything looked in order except the hair he had placed at the top of his clothing in his valise was no longer there. He knew then that his luggage had been searched. They of course found nothing of interest so he assumed he would only have a modicum of surveillance in the foreseeable future until he met with Carlos.

The next morning after breakfast, Adam got a tour of Havana from Jose, and asked him if he could guide him to Gabriel's rancho. Jose said that he grew up near there and felt confident he could do that too. Over dinner, they made arrangements to travel the next day with Jose giving Adam advice on how to dress and where to rent horses at a reasonable price for the trip. After agreeing on a time and a place to meet in the morning, Jose left. Adam was soon visited by a pretty woman who asked him if he had by chance recently come from the United States. He said that he had, and she asked if he could tell her the news because she had family members living in New York but hadn't heard anything from them in a long time. Adam answered all of her questions including that he had visited an old college friend in Washington and was going to visit another the next day. She asked about his home in Nevada after he mentioned that he was traveling and had left there less than two months earlier. The evening was pleasant and his companion was easy on the eyes, but he knew she was collecting information. It made him slightly edgy, but he managed to remain relaxed and congenial as if he had nothing to hide. After about two hours and several glasses of wine, they said goodnight to each other, and both had the same thought wondering with whom they had spent the evening.

By the time the lady returned to the office, she brought the watchers enough information to check out, but the woman had a word of caution. "It doesn't mean he is innocent. It could mean that he is exceptionally clever and that this trip was very well planned. Keep a watcher on him. We know where he is going. Send someone there to see who he sees and what he does." The men accepted the instructions from their boss, and a man was dispatched immediately. He would be there well before Adam and Jose arrived.

In his hotel room, Adam lay in his bed and had trouble sleeping. Contrary to what he had thought earlier, he realized he was under intense scrutiny. He wondered just how much danger that implied but didn't have the experience to know. He did know that he was going to be a lot more careful about making any kind of assumptions. His life could depend on that. Finally in the early morning hours, he did fall asleep, but when it was time to meet Jose, he looked like he needed sleep. Jose asked him about that only after they were riding in the countryside.

"I had a visitor at my table after you left. She grilled me for almost two hours. I hope that I gave her all the right answers, but the government here is very suspicious. You're not going to be in trouble for helping me, are you?"

"No, I don't think so. They probably think I am too young to be any kind of threat, but I am always careful. We will stay with some relatives tonight, and tomorrow, we will reach Gabriel's rancho if the weather cooperates."

The dark clouds over the mountains were cause for concern, and by later in the day, a source of misery too. It was hot and humid so when the rains came, they were hot and wet. The road became more difficult slowing their pace so that they did not arrive at their destination until after dark. Early the next morning, they were back on the road. Adam was getting very tired with the lack of sleep and how the heat and humidity seemed to drain the energy from him. Finally as they rode higher in the hills, it was more pleasant with breezes at least to cool them. Late in the day, with mud spattered horses and sodden clothing, Adam arrived at his friend's home. Gabriel came out to greet him and laughed.

"Ah, my friend, it is so good to meet you, although by your look, I take that you did not enjoy the travel to get here?"

"You couldn't own a nice little place by the beach, could you?"

"Ah, but we do. However, it would not be safe for us to talk there."

"I don't even know what I'm being paid for this job, but it better be a lot."

After having met Gabriel's wife and children and having dinner with them, Adam finally was able to get a good night's sleep. The next morning, Gabriel suggested a ride across the ranch. Adam groaned a little causing his friend to laugh.

"We will not ride far but enough to be away from prying eyes. I have my men watching and there is only one man here to watch you. We should be able to keep our distance from him and conduct our business without anyone hearing."

Within an hour, Adam and Gabriel were riding with Carlos. Jose was also there as he would make a report to his allies back in Havana. Adam explained the strategy that the Americans thought would work to achieve what Carlos, Gabriel, and the others hoped to achieve. The plan was to have Carlos declare that his slaves were free, and then Gabriel would do the same igniting a primer cord of that explosive news until many others had done the same and took the first key step in abolishing the loathsome bondage that had been part of Cuba's history for hundreds of years. At the same time, the men who did that would declare Cuba's independence from Spain. The second was not something likely to be achieved.

"I know you want your independence, but you sell your sugar to the United States and that brings in a fortune to Cuba. Spain will not give up this economic gem. However, if you can get rid of slavery and maintain the profitability of the island, then Spain would be more inclined to accept reforms."

"It will take a long time for this to work then?"

"Yes, but it will work. You can do this regardless of the governor you have now."

"The laws they have passed recently are onerous."

"Changing the laws won't change what is in the hearts and minds of the people just like having laws doesn't stop people from changing what is in their hearts and minds. Men can act in good conscience regardless of the immorality of their government."

Carlos paused for a time. "Adam, you have the poetic soul of a Cuban philosopher. I wish that you had had the chance to meet our poet, Gabriel. He and my cousin share a name and a philosophy of life. I know what you are saying. If we do not want to have slavery, then we should simply stop having slaves. Because the law allows slavery does not mean that there should be slaves. I already treat my slaves as freemen and pay them for their work and allow them all the privileges of freemen. Soon I will declare their freedom and that may spark the revolution that my people want. I think your government is correct about that but I did not understand it so well until you talked to me. I thank you for that."

"Yes, your revolution will eventually succeed or fail militarily, but even if it fails to overthrow the government, you can still have a social and economic revolution. If you manage your economy without slavery and establish your local governments to keep order, even if the military efforts fail, the government will not be able to roll back the reforms that are how people are living. Show them that it can work and be profitable, and they will have to make concessions."

"Your way is slower, but we will not destroy our country with a war, and we will not have so many of our people killed. Perhaps when Jose here has children his age, we will have true freedom."

"Now you said you had no trouble getting here, but now that you have been seen with me and with Gabriel, I fear your return trip might not be so pleasant. If you wish, I will have some people arrange for you to leave the country in secret. Florida is not so far away. We could have you there in a few days."

"No, if I do that, then they know that my government is involved. This has to be something you do for your people. If it is suspected that my government is involved in any way, then many will be suspicious of your motives and your support could be too weak. No, it is your idealism that must remain untainted so that you can inspire others."

"But Gabriel and Jose know."

"Yes, but they are practical and wise. They know that what I said is true. They will keep our secrets."

"Now, someone mentioned a place at the beach. Is it reasonable to ask if we could go there for some time to have fun before I leave?'

"It is an excellent idea. It will make the watchers less likely to think that you were here fomenting revolution. I cannot go, but I am sure that Gabriel and his family would enjoy some time away. Once we implement this plan, it will not be safe to go there."

After shaking hands with Carlos, Adam left with Gabriel and Jose. Gabriel's family did like the idea of some time near the ocean so Adam got his wish.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

At the coast, Adam intended to stay longer than a couple of days so Jose had to go back to Havana. Because of Adam's experience traveling in the west, he felt capable of finding his way back to Havana after a week or so of visiting with Gabriel and his family. He thought the vacationing at the beach was a good cover story. He was wrong. The longer he stayed in Cuba, the greater the suspicion grew that he was there to do something. His association with Gabriel who was known for his opposition to the Spanish governor and Cuba's colonial status only added to the reasons that the authorities wanted a chance to question him. He had been seen meeting with Carlos, and nothing he did was going to eliminate suspicion of him after that.

At the end of the week, Gabriel needed to get back to work, and the weather was pleasant so the roads would be easy to follow. Adam thanked his friend and host and said goodbye to him and to his family. He rode away from the rancho expecting to travel for two days and then spend a night in Havana and hopefully get passage out of the city to France. As he rode along the road, he thought he saw movement several times in the trees, but when no threat was apparent, he assumed that is was probably animals startled by his passing. At one point, he saw some rustling in the bushes up ahead and paused under a tree to see what could be making that disturbance. He looked all around and saw nothing dangerous, but he failed to look up. The club hit the side of his head with enough force to knock him from the horse. He had been able to partially block it when, by his peripheral vision, he saw it swinging at him. However the fall finished what the blow to the head had started, and he lost consciousness.

When Adam awakened, he was disoriented and had no idea if it was night or day. He wasn't even sure where he was. Gradually awareness returned, and he realized that he was probably a guest of the government. He couldn't know that, but it made more sense than anything else. There was a hood over his head preventing him from seeing anyone or getting any clues about where he was being held. He fought the urge to scream because the hood created a sense of being suffocated. His hands were shackled behind him, and another set were secured around his ankles. He was laying on a stone floor of a building with the cold seeping into him, and that was about all he could determine. His head was pounding, he was very thirsty, and he had a very urgent need to pee. All of that convinced him that he must have been unconscious for a long time. He stirred a little wondering if there was anyone near him who would notice. There were because at his slight movement, two men began talking. It was in Spanish, of course, but Adam understood everything that was said because there was nothing complex about the conversation.

"I told you that you hit him too hard. He's just now coming around. He might not remember anything being unconscious for that long."

"He'll remember just fine or he'll have more to worry about than a headache."

"You know we were told not to do anything permanent. They don't want him to run to the American government and make trouble. No, we may threaten and use some force, but nothing too severe."

"There's lots of places you can hit a man without doing any permanent damage. He'll talk."

"Not every man is going to talk because he's hurting. Some would die before talking. He will talk, or we will let him go and see if other methods will work. Now toss that bucket of water on him and see if he wakes up the rest of the way."

Despite the heat, the cold water was not welcome. Adam began shivering and that made him realize that he probably had suffered a concussion. The two men yelled at him asking if he wanted a drink of water or if he had to piss. He refused to answer them not wanting them to know that he understood any Spanish. They finally reverted to using heavily accented English which he acted as if he had a difficult time understanding. Finally, he was hauled to his feet and put in a chair. He was hit several times in the abdomen doubling him over each time as they demanded to know what he was doing in Cuba. That was all it took to get him to vomit. There wasn't much in his stomach but he fell forward to his knees from the chair and retched for probably a minute. Realizing that they would not be able to question Adam because of his injury, the two men left the room slamming the door behind them. There was a very clearly audible sound of a lock being engaged.

Cold, wet, and in pain lying on his side on the floor, Adam was unable to help himself in any way. He fell asleep from exhaustion at some point and didn't awaken until he was hauled up to sit in the chair again. He had no way of knowing how much time had passed and if anyone was aware that he was missing. The blows to the stomach and the questions were repeated several times over the course of what he assumed to be a day. The first time, the men had smelled of wood smoke. The second time, Adam could smell food on their clothing, and the last time, he could smell alcohol. He never answered the questions other than with his cover story. He was not given any food or water except for one cup of water given after the last session with his tormentors. Weakened by that deprivation as well as the concussion, when he was finally left alone, he fell into a deep sleep.

When he awakened and assumed it was the next day, the shackles were gone, and he was laying in some grass with his horse grazing nearby. He smelled awful and had a severe headache. Despite that, he looked around and saw no building and no people. He suspected that they were there watching him but there was nothing he could do about that. He got up on his hands and knees and crawled toward the horse. Once he neared the horse, he talked soothingly and moved slowly so as not to startle the animal. When he could finally grab a stirrup, he pulled himself up next to the horse and fought waves of dizziness for several minutes. Then moving almost in slow motion, he pulled himself into the saddle. The next problem was that he wasn't sure which way to go so he gave the horse the option to go either way. The horse turned left so Adam assumed that it was the correct direction. He rode slowly and had no idea how far he was from Havana or from the little town in which he had hoped to spend the night. He needed help and hoped he could find the town before nightfall. As it was, he was found before nightfall by a woman driving a carriage. She drove her rig past him before stopping and looking back at him. She called out to him in Spanish asking if he needed help. He didn't respond so she called out in English. With that he turned to her.

"Yes, please, I need help."

She climbed down from the carriage and walked closer to him. "What happened to you?"

"Truthfully, I don't know. I was attacked by two men who kept asking why I was in Cuba. They didn't like my answer, but when I woke up, they were gone. I'm not even sure where I am or if I'm headed back toward Havana."

"You are headed in the correct direction, but you will never make it by tonight. You can come with me to my home. Tomorrow you can ride to Havana."

"I'm that close then?"

"Yes, it is less than a day's ride from here, but you could only get there with hard riding, and you do not look like you can do any hard riding."

"No, I'm not sure I can do any more riding at all." Adam began to slip from the saddle and did his best not to fall on the ground. He looked at the woman as he hung onto his saddle because it was the only way he would not fall flat on his face. "I know I smell and look terrible, but could you please give me a ride?"

"I think I have to. You wait there so that I can pull the carriage closer." Once she had the carriage next to Adam, she helped him moved from hanging onto the saddle to hanging onto the side of the carriage. "Now, you need to pull yourself into that back seat. I cannot lift you."

Struggling, Adam finally pulled himself up and into the back seat. He didn't blame her for not wanting to touch him or sitting beside him. He was relieved not to have to fight the exhaustion and the dizziness any longer. He fell asleep and didn't wake until he heard her voice and the voices of two other people. They managed to help him from the carriage and into the house where a bath was drawn for him. His clothing was removed, and he didn't even have the energy to be embarrassed. He soaked in the tub of sudsy water and would have fallen asleep except the woman was there and refused to let him close his eyes. Once he was clean, she helped him from the tub and had him wrap a robe around himself. Then she led him to a bedroom where the covers had been pulled back. He fell into the bed and was asleep before she pulled the sheet over him. She stood then smiling down at the dark haired American. There were times like these when she anticipated enjoying her special form of interrogation.

When Adam began to awaken the next day, he felt cool and comfortable. As full awareness returned, he realized the coolness was from a cool wet cloth wiping his face, his arms, and his chest. He opened his eyes to find his hostess sitting by his side. The sheet had been pushed down below his waist and left him with only a slight covering to protect his modesty.

"Ah, my prince awakes. You seemed very warm so I thought a cool bath might help you."

"Yes, that's fine, but I'm all right now, thank you." Adam reached down to pull the sheet up a bit higher but found it couldn't because she was sitting on it.

"Now, don't pull the sheet up until I dry you." She took a fluffy cotton cloth and began to dab the areas that she had previously wet.

Adam put his hand around her wrist gently. "Please, I can do that for myself."

"Now, I probably saved your life. Please allow me this one indulgence. I have not had a man in my bed since my dear husband passed away." Adam looked at her and then at the room and saw a chair with a blanket tossed over it. "Yes, I slept in the chair so your honor is intact. I did not take advantage of you in your weakened condition, although I must say, senor, I was tempted." She gave him a dazzling smile then, and Adam was finding it increasingly difficult not to react to her, but she showed some mercy on him then as she wiped the last of the water droplets from his lower abdomen. "My maid laundered your clothing. I brought in your valise. Now, I could shave you as well if you wish and help you dress."

"No, thank you, you've been very gracious and helpful, but I assure you that I can manage to shave and dress myself."

"Well, that is a pity, but perhaps later you will reconsider my offer."

"No, I really should be on my way to Havana."

"I don't think that's a good idea. It is already midday, and it is nearly a day's ride to the city. With your injuries and as late as it already is, I do not think that you would make that ride."

"What time is it?"

"Nearly midday. By the time you dress, shave, and have lunch, it will be early afternoon, and much too late to make that ride today. Do you have an appointment you must keep?"

"No, but I do not want to impose on your hospitality. I had hoped to get to Havana and book passage on a ship to France."

"France? Oh, my, where are my manners. My name is Isabella De la Mora."

"Adam Cartwright."

"Ah, Adam is a strong name, and you are a strong man. What are you doing in Cuba?"

"I wanted to see the country, and I visited a friend I met in college, Gabriel de Cespedes. He and his cousin own two large ranchos. I was given a tour of his rancho and his cousin's, and then I spent nearly a week at Gabriel's home on the coast. He and his family were wonderful, but there are so many more parts of the world I would like to see before I go back home."

"And where is your home, Adam?"

"The only home I have ever had is in Nevada. My family has a large ranch there, but I yearned to see more of the world. This is the first trip out of the country that I've made since a short trip to Europe while I was in college."

Suspicious of the coincidence of being found on a desolate stretch of road just as he needed help, Adam suspected he had been watched and that the 'rescue' was well orchestrated. He did need the help though, and resting here with such a wonderful hostess was pleasant enough even if he knew he was being tested again. He wondered how far she would go to try to get information from him that he had not yet divulged. He did worry that this form of interrogation was going to be more difficult to resist. He needed to be on guard every second to be sure that nothing was said to indicate what he had been in Cuba to do. The gentle questioning continued through lunch and into the early afternoon as they strolled the grounds of the beautiful home. Adam had noticed there seemed to be no personal possessions in the home, and wondered who actually lived here when it wasn't being used to try to trap a spy. He knew that he must have been drugged by his previous captors, and he watched carefully as his food and drink were being served. There apparently was nothing in his food or drink because he felt fine after lunch and while walking. He was observant at dinner as well but again felt fine after dinner. Isabella offered wine after dinner and sat beside him on a divan. She edged closer and closer as they talked until her leg was pressed along his leg. He doubted she would give up easily so decided to give in without fighting. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her to him for a soft kiss.

"I hope that I was not too presumptuous, but it seemed you would not mind if I kissed you."

"Oh, but, Adam, I do mind. That was a kiss that a man gives his mother after a visit. Surely you wish to honor me with more of a kiss than that. I thought that I was a desirable woman, but you make me feel that I am overconfident."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Let me rectify that situation immediately." Adam pulled her close again but this time he kissed her deeply pushing his tongue into her mouth as his arm wrapped around her waist and pressed her body against his. He continued kissing and then trailed kisses down her cheek and neck. She arched back and he kissed along the neckline of her dress as his hand caressed her. Nuzzling her ear, he whispered to her. "It doesn't seem fair."

Doing her best to remember why she was doing this, Isabella whispered to him. "What isn't fair?"

"You have seen all of me, but I have not seen you."

"Yes, yes, that is unfair. We should go to the bedroom and find justice for you."

Noticing that Isabella said 'the' bedroom instead of 'my' bedroom only reinforced what Adam already had concluded. This was not her home, but it was being used for his seduction. He decided that he would play into her hands for that. If he slipped up and gave away his true purpose for visiting Cuba, at least the last thing he did would have been very pleasurable. He stood and pulled her up into his arms kissing her passionately before he lifted her and carried her to the bedroom.

In the morning when Adam awoke, he was alone in the bed. Fairly certain that he had not divulged anything during pillow talk, he wondered where Isabella was and what her next plan might be. He got up, shaved, and dressed. When he ventured from the bedroom, it was clear that the house was empty. His horse was outside, saddled and ready to go. He walked around the house for a while and then outside calling Isabella's name. He stood for a time on the veranda of the home looking perplexed. When he thought he had acted out the confused lover on the morning after, he took a last longing look at the house before mounting up and riding toward Havana. There were no more encounters with government agents. He spent two more days in Havana seeing the sights until he found a ship that would take him to Spain. From there, he could easily book passage to France. As he boarded the ship to leave, the watchers and their boss observed him.

One of the watchers addressed their boss who had been waiting for several days for the tall dark haired American to leave. "Perhaps he actually was only visiting friends. He may be simply the rancher from Nevada that he claims to be."

"Perhaps, or perhaps he is one of the most clever spies the Americans have ever sent here to interfere in our business. If he ever enters Cuba again, have him arrested. He will disappear." With that Isabella left the room to attend to the other business she had to do that day, but she had a funny feeling in the pit of her stomach. She wondered if she would see him again and under what circumstances that might be.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

On the ship that sailed to Spain, Adam wondered if he was still being watched. Because he might be under surveillance yet, he did not let anyone know that he spoke Spanish. After professing his desire to go to France to see the sights, he could hardly turn down the opportunity to sail on a ship flying Spanish colors, but it did make him more alert to what was happening around him. He began to realize that the life of a spy or agent of a country lived a life of tension and stress. There was no opportunity to relax because to do so could mean imprisonment, torture, and possibly death. Because he had to feign ignorance of Spanish, he was isolated on the trip across the Atlantic. He wanted to enjoy his transatlantic voyage, but at first, he found that his pleasure was tempered by worry and loneliness. He liked to laugh, talk, and play games such as chess. Those opportunities were denied to him because of his perceived language barrier.

However several days into the trip on one evening walk on deck before Adam retired to his cabin for the night, he chanced upon several sailors listening to one of their shipmates doing his best to play guitar. His best however was difficult for his audience to tolerate. A couple of them were looking away from him and saw Adam grimace at the missed notes and chords of the man's playing. They told the guitar player that the American didn't like his music. The player stood and pointed at Adam and at his guitar as if to say 'see if you can do better' so Adam accepted the guitar, tuned it, and began to play. At first surprised, the men quickly expressed their happiness as finding a diversion from their work. They encouraged him to sing by mimicking the act and soon were entertained by a variety of songs from classical to English ballads to bawdy western drinking songs. They didn't understand most of the words but did enjoy the entertainment. From that night on, the voyage was much more pleasant for Adam as sailors did their best to communicate with him in broken English, and began to teach him Spanish which he picked up extraordinarily fast. The men were delighted with that as well as the nightly entertainment he provided with the guitar and his voice. He learned some songs in Spanish from them and played those as well. By the time they arrived in a Spanish port, Adam was speaking reasonable Spanish and had a score of new friends who offered some advice.

"Be very careful in France. Many say they will be going to war with Prussia at some point, and when they do, they will not be overly concerned if the men they conscript are French or not. And there are many there who still are upset over how the war in your country turned out. You may not find that Americans are well received there. Coming into France on a Spanish ship could put suspicion on you just for that."

"Thank you. I only intend to see the great sights and then I will return home. Thank you for all the help you gave to me."

With that, Adam bid the sailors goodbye and moved down the docks to find a ship that could get him to France. The captain of the ship watched him go and then penned a report for Isabella telling her that Adam seemed to be only an American traveling for pleasure. She would be skeptical when she got it, but the captain assumed it was because she was suspicious of everyone she met but especially of Americans.

When Adam arrived in France, he immediately penned a letter to his family letting them know where he was and what his plans were. When Ben got that letter, he was surprised to find that it had been opened and resealed, but other than that, did not see anything amiss with it and read the letter to Hoss and Joe. Joe was still a bit resentful of Adam getting this time away.

"He's been gone for months, and so far, all he's been doing is traveling. What about these great things he set out to do."

"Joseph, your brother wanted to travel too. Remember, we agreed that he would have one or two years to do this so you can't expect him to accomplish it in his first few months away. He's visited some friends, and now he's in Paris. You know how much he wanted to see Paris, so we shouldn't begrudge him this opportunity."

Hoss smiled because he did remember Adam talking longingly of seeing Paris. Hoss also knew that Adam had a deck of French playing cards in his room. He smiled even more as he wondered if Adam was seeing anything like that in Paris. "Pa's right, Joe, and just think of the great stories he's gonna tell when he gets back. He'll probably have to tell some of 'em when Pa's not around."

Ben looked at Hoss with a bit of a scowl but couldn't hold it with his sons grinning at him. He shook his head as the thought that with his eldest son, what Hoss had said was likely to be true. There were a few things he had seen as a sailor that he had never described to his sons. He wondered if now would be a good time, but as always, his conservative nature made him decide not to do that. Instead, they would wait for the next letter from Adam to see what he was doing next.

In Paris, Adam was living well using the payment for his mission to Cuba. The government had paid him well for that service so he was doubly pleased. He had done something important for his country even if he couldn't tell anyone about it, and he had made some money doing it. France was only for pleasure though, and he made sure that he had plenty of that. He saw the cathedrals and toured some of the manor homes making sketches of various architectural features. He sketched scenes along the Seine and blended in with the artists there. He found all sorts of people willing to socialize with him, and in general, he relaxed and enjoyed his time. But after nearly two months of that, he was summoned to the American embassy. As he called for transportation to take him there, he worried that there was some bad news from home. What he was told however was almost as shocking.

"You need to leave France immediately. We have some people who will get you to Calais. There is an American ship there which is soon to depart for New York. You need to be on that ship."

"Why? I've done nothing wrong."

"We have some contacts in the government, and they have information about you that has made them suspicious. You will be brought in for questioning, and with French justice, that is tantamount to saying you are likely to be convicted of a crime or at the very least spend the next year or two in a French jail awaiting a trial."

"Why are they suspicious of me?"

"You met with Earl Layson in Washington, and then with Carlos Manuel de Cespedes in Cuba. Now you are in France and one of your first stops was this embassy."

"How did they know all of that?"

"Apparently you made an enemy in Cuba, and the Spanish gathered the facts and supplied them to the French. Someone in Cuba is trying to have the French take care of you for them."

"I guess I have no choice. What about my things?"

"Once you are safely on your way, we will get them and ship them out for you. Do you want them sent to Washington?"

"Yes, that would be the most convenient. Perhaps to Mr. Layson's home. He is an old friend of mine from college."

The embassy aide was impressed that Adam was maintaining his cover story even among them. He wondered if Earl recognized the talent this one had and if he would have other missions. In Europe, they usually relied on contacts within the government who could be bribed. The Europeans were so much more experienced in spying that it was folly to think they could compete with them, but there were many other places where the United States had interests and where an agent working secretly could do a lot of good or harm as the situation required.

"Is there anything that you need to send by diplomatic courier?"

"No, I've only been traveling and sketching in France, but I would like those drawings."

The return voyage to America on an American ship allowed Adam to truly relax for the first time since he had left Washington. He could not think of a scenario where he was being watched or suspected of anything while he was aboard the ship. He visited, played games, and again found that there was an audience for guitar playing and singing. By the time he reached New York, he was rested and rejuvenated. He spent a week touring New York to see the changes in the city since his last visit, and he attended the theater almost every night. Then he booked a trip on the train to Washington where he assumed Earl would be expecting him.

In Washington, Adam took a hackney to Earl's office. When he entered, he got a big hug from Betsy, but then she had a warning for him.

"He's not in a good mood. You should have wired from New York that you had arrived. When he got your wire today that you were coming down from New York after spending a week there, he was upset."

"Duly noted. Now can I go into the lion's den?" Betsy smiled and swung her arm around as if to say, 'after you' which got a grin from Adam. He entered Earl's office after knocking, and Betsy followed him in with a pad of paper. "I'm sorry I didn't notify you of my return. I had no idea you were so worried about me." Adam grinned then, and Earl couldn't hold his scowl. He stepped around his desk and gave Adam a hug.

"Marcia would have killed me if anything happened to you, and when I didn't hear anything from you, I was very worried. Your things arrived without any explanation. We were thinking the worst."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know that. The embassy advised me to get out of town quickly and without even retrieving my belongings. They said that they would send my things once I was safely out of the country. I thought they would let you know what had happened."

"They didn't. I can't tell you how pleased I am to see you. Now tell me all about what happened in Cuba."

As Adam talked, Betsy took notes. Her job was to keep records as well as to do research to help an agent with a mission. She was very impressed with how Adam had done, but he seemed hesitant to talk about what happened with Isabella. Betsy was fairly sure that she knew why.

"So, then there were no more incidents before you took the ship to Spain."

Looking relieved, Adam nodded. Betsy left then to write up the report. She asked Adam to stop by her desk later to review what she had written to make sure it was accurate. Then she excused herself and left the two men to talk. Earl waited until the door was closed.

"So Isabella used that old trick on you? You're lucky she didn't suspect you too much. She has a way of showing up and messing up our plans."

"So that happens a lot?"

"Often enough. It's an old trick but often works so it keeps being used. I take it that it was, shall we say, a pleasant experience?"

"Yes, more than pleasant. I wouldn't mind repeating that kind of interrogation."

"Don't even think of going near Isabella again. I had no idea she was in Cuba, or I probably wouldn't have sent you. People tend to disappear when she's around. She's beautiful and desirable but as deadly as an asp."

"Earl, I had some misgivings about going to Cuba. It took a week for me to decide to give it a whirl, but I have to say that I felt good about it. I felt like I did some good."

"I was hoping that you would feel that way. By the way, how is our friend, Gabriel?"

After talking about Gabriel and his family as well as the week at the coast, Adam had a question that Earl had anticipated. "Do you have any more work for me?"

"Marcia said you would ask. Yes, but first you need to check over your report with Betsy, and then we'll go to the house and relieve Marcia of her worries. I'm sure that my daughter will be thrilled to see you again. She has talked about you dozens of times since you left."

When Earl and Adam arrived at the house, Marcia rushed to him and hugged him. He kissed her cheek. "Don't you ever make us worry about you like that again."

"So you know there will be an again?"

Marcia sighed deeply and tipped her head to the side to regard Adam. "I suspected you would like the work, especially the challenge of it. Earl and I talked while you were gone. If that's what you want to do, I will help you all I can in your preparations."

"Thank you. Earl hasn't mentioned anything to me about what you two have in mind for me. I am sorry that I didn't know that the embassy never told you what happened. I'll explain it all later, but I see two young people approaching." When Leigh and Kenneth reached them, Adam shook Kenneth's hand and said he would be interested in hearing what he had been doing in the months that Adam had been gone. Then he turned to Leigh, took her hand and raised it to his lips for a kiss. Earl rolled his eyes as Marcia smiled. Leigh was completely smitten with Adam. It was her first crush, and her parents were glad that Adam was treating her with such courtesy and respect.

"Now, what has my princess been up to while I was gone?" Adam offered Leigh his arm, and after she slipped her hand through his elbow, he gallantly walked her up the steps and across the porch into her home. She was giggling by the time they entered the parlor. Adam asked where his belongings were and retrieved several packages from the guest room where they were stored. He handed one to Marcia who opened it to find a fine silk scarf with a scene painted on it.

"It seems to be the latest thing in Paris. I thought you might like one."

Next he handed a smaller parcel to Leigh who opened it to find a similar but smaller silk scarf. She gave him a hug in thanks. Adam told Earl that the wooden box was for him. After getting a hammer to pry the cover off the crate, Earl was pleased to find French champagne. He grinned and saluted Adam. Then there was a small rectangular package which Adam handed to Kenneth who tore the brown paper away but turned to Adam a bit disappointed.

"Great Expectations; Adam, I've read this already."

"Yes, I know because we had talked about that, but look inside."

Opening the front cover, Kenneth found that the book was inscribed to him from Charles Dickens and there was a promise to send a first edition of his next book as soon as he had one from the printers. Kenneth was so overwhelmed that he couldn't talk, and he didn't want anyone to see the tears in his eyes either so he hugged Adam as well burying his face against the tall man's shoulder. Once Kenneth had regained his composure, he stepped back and Adam smiled at him.

"Adam, there's one more package. Who gets that one?"

"Kenneth, that's for Betsy. I'll bring it to the office tomorrow."

"No need. I asked Betsy to join us for dinner. After dinner, I thought you could tell us some of the most pleasurable things that you got to do on your travels." Adam quirked up one eyebrow at Earl who only smiled innocently. Marcia understood immediately.

"I'm sure that you have many stories that our children would enjoy hearing."

With a nod, Adam agreed but still had a bit of a scowl at Earl for letting out his secret to Marcia. He thought it was likely that Betsy knew too. He didn't feel guilty or embarrassed over what had happened with Isabella but had thought to keep it more private. Earl had a fairly good idea of what he was thinking. He leaned over and whispered to Adam that all of them were very good at keeping secrets so it would go no further. That was only a slight relief to Adam who thought it had gone too far already, but with Leigh and Kenneth clamoring for stories, Adam had to tell them a bit so he started with the alligators he had seen in Florida only they were twice as long and about ten times as threatening as the ones he had actually seen, and when he talked about the manatees, they were far more slender and graceful leviathans by his account that the slowly swimming creatures that he had seen. Betsy arrived shortly before dinner was served and was seated next to Adam and Leigh quickly took the seat on the other side of him.

After dinner which passed very pleasantly with some of Adam's stories about his time in Savannah and in St. Augustine, Adam gave Betsy the gift he had brought for her. She had tears in her eyes when she saw that he had brought her three small paintings of Paris.

"Thank you, Adam. You remembered that I said I had never been there and wondered at what it looked like. These are wonderful."

"There are many street artists in Paris. They're all unknown artists at this time, but perhaps one day, one of them will be famous, and you can say you had one of his early works."

"They're beautiful. I will have them framed, and they will look very nice in my apartment. You'll have to come over when I have them hanging on the wall."

"I'd like that."

Leigh interrupted then and asked if Adam was going to tell them more about his trip. With a smile for Betsy at the apparent jealousy of his young admirer, Adam agreed, and the rest of the evening passed quickly as he told a number of stories about his time in Cuba and Paris and the short stop in London on the way back. Then even though Marcia said that the children needed to go to bed, they begged to know how he knew Charles Dickens so that was one more story. Earl said that counted as a bedtime story and would accept no more delaying tactics by his children telling them that Adam would be there for a few more weeks and there would be more time for stories. Once the children went up the stairs, Betsy turned to Adam.

"So you agreed to another mission?"

Adam nodded. "I don't know anything about it yet, but I want to do this again despite the danger. I felt like I was doing something important and making a difference in the world, a good difference."

After looking at Earl who nodded, Betsy turned to Adam. "It will be a lot less dangerous in many ways, but you may be gone a long time and under a different identity."

Earl took over then. "I had thought we would talk about this tomorrow, but this will give you a chance to sleep on it and see what questions you have. There is an election coming up in Mexico. The two frontrunners are Porfirio Diaz and Benito Juarez. Both would be good for the economy of Mexico because they welcome investment and are willing to work with businessmen to get their money to build the Mexican economy. However, Diaz has a military background and would likely become a military dictator if given the chance. Juarez wants civilian control of the military."

"I would think the way business is going in this country right now, businessmen would welcome that."

"Adam, they would except that he will likely oppress the population. Nothing is so bad for business as a revolution and overthrow of the government. The population is radicalized after throwing off the yoke of the French."

"But French troops still occupy Mexico City and some ports. I heard talk about that when I was in France."

"Yes, but Maximilian cannot last, and there will be no French empire in Mexico. By the time we want you to arrive in Mexico, Maximilian will be gone and the country will be looking at elections."

"Doesn't Juarez get the job by default? He was president when Mexico was taken over."

"Yes, he will be in charge temporarily. We hope then that he can win the next election and stay there. It would be good for the stability of the country, and that would mean more investment in Mexico. Juarez is a reformer. He can be a little power hungry, but overall, he will work with us. He has nothing against America despite the loss of territory to our country. He's a practical man. Loss of sparsely populated regions was probably inevitable. If not us, then the British or the Russians would have been on his doorstep. He lived in New Orleans for a time and worked as a cigar maker. He's not too worried about us."

"So what would I be doing?"

"You would get as close to the Juarez inner circle as you could and help them with advice and in making contact with American businessmen with money to invest."  
"Why can't you do this directly with an American advisor?"

"They would never be able to openly have an American advisor, but you could easily pass as a criollo. We would get you background and some language training to help you with that identity."

"You're right. That is a lot to think about. We'll talk more tomorrow, I assume?"

"Of course. Perhaps you would like to escort Betsy home. But don't talk business outside of this house or outside of the office. Relax a little. Give yourself sometime to let it all sink in."

Adam shrugged and looked at Betsy. "May I have the honor of escorting you to your home?" Then he grinned, and Betsy smiled in response. She definitely liked his poise.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

"What about my family?"

"You can't tell them where you're going, and it would likely be a mistake to even tell them you are in government service."

"They'll worry, and they might even think that I'm dead."

"It wouldn't take much to put the secrecy together with that for them to know what kind of service you were doing. It would be a great risk for you to let them know."

Deep in thought for a time, Adam looked up at Earl. "I have to tell my father something. There is no scenario in which I can let him worry for the year or so that you think I'll be gone."

"If you must, then tell your father something. But be careful how much you say to him." Earl thought for a time too. "Perhaps you could write a few letters as if you're in France or Britain. We could send them over in the diplomatic pouch and have them mailed from there. Then he would be hearing from you and it would alleviate any worries he had."

"And if I don't survive this mission? What will anyone say to him? That I simply disappeared? I'll write a few letters. It will be good for him to have something to tell my brothers or anyone else who asks, but I will tell my father the type of work I have accepted. He'll worry, but on occasion, perhaps you could let him know that I'm still alive?"

"Whenever I got a report back from you, I could send a few your sketches to him. I could say that I had contact with you in France and others I could say were shipped to me through my father's shipping company. If he gets the sketches, he'll know you're still alive. It will be a coded contact that none should suspect if they read it. It should sound so very innocent."

"Now, what is my background going to be?"

"We have a history for you. You will be a criollo from Costa Rica who has been disinherited by his family for his lifestyle of drinking, gambling, and whoring. You will have worked for an American company in Costa Rica until they fire you because of disputes on wages and hours for the workers. We have two men who have business interests in Costa Rica. They will be your employer. Their records are being altered probably as we speak to indicate that you have worked for them for years. You also traveled extensively including to the United States on business so you will have business contacts here. You will actually be working in Costa Rica for a couple of months before you are let go. You will travel north to Mexico expecting greater opportunities once the French are gone and the country has to rebuild. Your championing of better hours and wages for workers will resonate with Juarez and his party."

"My new name?"

"Adan Carta. If you ever sign initials, they will be the same. Caught off guard, your name will still sound similar if you slip up. If you ever say Adam is your name, you can simply say that Americans call you that."

"It seems that all that's left is to write those letters, pack, and get my final instructions."

"No, before you leave, we have one more obstacle to overcome. The President wants to meet with you. He wants to be sure we have chosen the right man for this job because the effects can be great if you do well or if you do poorly. The worst thing would be for you to be discovered to be an American. You need to grow a mustache too. I know that won't take you very long."

"What happens when my mission is completed?"

"You will need to go to another country where you will disappear. Then miraculously Adam Cartwright will return to the United States from France at about that same time."

The meeting with the President went well. The man was distracted by his own political struggles but made it clear that he had the best interests of the country at heart. He questioned Adam thoroughly about his background and what he planned to do. Once satisfied that Earl had made a good choice, he shook Adam's hand and wished him well. When Adam got back to the office, he slumped in a chair across from Betsy's desk. She looked at him and had to ask.

"Did it go well?"

"Yes, very well and I have the President's endorsement. It's that I was thinking after I left his office with sweaty palms and a stiff neck, that I will be probably be feeling that way quite often over the next year. It's a lot to face. The mission to Cuba was scheduled to be short, and it was. This is a marathon in comparison. I'm not sure I'm up to the task."

"Adam, last minute nervousness is normal. When I did a few missions during the War, I felt that way every time, but once I got to work, it was a lot better. Perhaps you need a night of relaxation. Would you like to have dinner with me? Then we could go to my apartment, and I'll show you how I had the paintings framed and hung on my walls."

Thinking that perhaps Betsy had more in mind than dinner and showing off her paintings, Adam decided he wouldn't mind if she did. He nodded. "What time should I call for you for dinner?"

Dinner was very pleasant, and Adam talked about Nevada and his family while Betsy talked about her husband who had died and the home they used to have in Wisconsin. Her husband had been killed early in the War, and Betsy had come to Washington to help out the Union cause because she couldn't handle their farm by herself. She used the money from the sale of the farm to support herself until she got a job as a nurse in a hospital. That was where she met Earl who had been injured on a mission into the south.

"So that's how you started working for Earl?"

"Yes, he offered me a position and I took it. No regrets either. I feel that I'm doing something worthwhile, and not many men are looking for a wife as old as I am. I feel all right with that too. Earl and Marcia make me feel like one of their family. Now, what about you? I sense you're missing your family."

"Yes, now that I've been gone for some time, I appreciate more what I had."

"You still have it if you go back."

"Maybe, but first I have to complete this mission. After this, I may go home, and see how things are."

"You seem to have some concern about that. Are you thinking they won't need you any more? That they've learned to get along without you?" Adam was quiet so Betsy knew that she had hit very close to the truth if not exactly on it. "Why don't you take me home now. I'll show you how I had those paintings framed. I love them, and I get to see them every day. I may not go to Paris, but I get to see it anyway." Once inside Betsy's apartment, Adam looked around for the paintings. He didn't see them and looked at Betsy who blushed a little before taking his hand and walking to her bedroom. She lit a lamp and turned it up to show Adam that all of the paintings were in her bedroom. "It's a wonderful way to get up in the morning. I get to look at one of those paintings no matter which way I'm looking when I open my eyes."

"If I had known you would love them so much, I would have gotten more or bigger ones."

"No, these are just right. Thank you." Adam was looking at one of the pictures and remembering the day he bought it. Betsy came up behind him and put her hands on his neck from behind. She pressed softly and could tell how much tension was in those muscles. "Why don't you sit down and let me massage your neck and back. You're very tense."

It was a request that Adam thought he should probably decline but wouldn't. He took off his coat and sat on a chair that was at a dressing table. He loosened the tie and unbuttoned his collar. Betsy moved in and began massaging the muscles as she said she would. Adam felt the tension drain away under her warm ministrations. She slid her hands over his shoulders and leaned down next to his ear.

"If you take off your shirt, I'll massage your whole back. You should probably lay on the bed for that."

"If I do both of those things, it's probably not going to stop there."

"I know. I was rather hoping you would say that."

"Betsy, it won't go further than this night. I have to be honest with you."

"I understand, but I do want this night."

Standing then, Adam turned to face her and removed his shirt. She pressed her hands on his chest and smiled before she nodded toward the bed. Adam lay face down on the bed, and Betsy began massaging his neck and back muscles working her way down to his lower back. He groaned a little when she worked that area.

"Have you had a back injury?"

"Yes. It's a long story, and I don't want to tell you right now because what you're doing is wonderful, and it's not a happy story."

"I can do a better job of massaging your lower back if you would loosen your belt and slide your pants down a couple of inches."

Adam rolled over on the bed and undid his belt buckle while looking at Betsy intently to see if she had any expression of doubt or worry. She smiled at him so he put his arms out to invite her into an embrace. An hour later, the two of them rested in each other's arms amid the disarray of discarded clothing and the bedcovers that had been hastily pushed out of the way.

"Your mustache tickles."

"You didn't seem to mind."

"No, but it did tickle."

"Should I shave it off before we do anything more?"

"There's more?"

"If it's to be only one night, I want it to be a very memorable night, so yes there will be a lot more if you're willing. You are willing, aren't you?"

"Very willing, and I like the mustache and the tickling. It is all very stimulating."

The next morning, Betsy awakened to kisses on her neck and shoulder. She turned toward Adam who smiled and reached behind him. He had an apple peeled, cored, and sliced. He offered her a slice and ate one himself. As he fed her half of the apple, she noted that he had shaved and was cleaned up.

"How early did you get up?"

"I awoke at dawn. It's kind of a habit with me. Now would you like to freshen up too before we continue?"

"Continue?"

"We still have two hours before we're expected at the office."

They were late, but Earl didn't mind. Adam was going off into the unknown dangers of this next mission. He couldn't fault him for taking some comfort before he went. Earl did think that Betsy looked happier than she had since he had met her. He decided that Marcia's suggestion that they do a little matchmaking might have merit. He planned to tell her that this evening and could envision the smile she would have when he told her. All he said to Adam and Betsy though was that Leigh had missed Adam at breakfast and probably had a good case of jealousy building. Adam smiled and looked at Betsy.

"While I'm in Mexico trying to achieve our goals, you'll have your own mission here trying to defuse Leigh's jealousy."

"Yes, and she is going to resent you for not saying goodbye, but she will have a long time to get over that. Now, there is a ship in the Chesapeake waiting for you to board. The captain will see that you get to Nicaragua and meet your contact there who will take you into Costa Rica. All the appropriate papers are in this envelope. There's a carriage outside that will take you to the ship." Earl handed a leather envelope to Adam. "I have the letters for your family and will send them on the schedule we agreed to use. I'll pray for you while you're gone and look forward to seeing you at the end of a successful mission."

After shaking Earl's hand, Adam kissed Betsy on the cheek. He asked if his valise was in the carriage, and then he walked out the door as Earl and Betsy looked at each other with worry in their eyes. This was an important mission, and they hoped it would be successful, but more than anything, they hoped that Adam would survive it. Despite their assurances that he would be in less danger than when he was in Cuba, they knew how volatile the situation was in Mexico. When they learned months later that Maximilian had been executed by Juarez, they had even more worry, but by then, they were getting reports that it seemed Adam had succeeded at least in the first part of the mission and was close to the Juarez inner circle.

On the Ponderosa, Ben got Adam's short missive about what he was truly doing in a larger letter meant for his brothers and anyone else spelling out his cover story that he was in Paris. As Ben read, he understood what Adam was trying to do, and at the same time, his heart ached for the trouble his son could be in. He wondered if they would ever know where he was and if he was safe.

_Pa, I can't tell anyone what I'm doing. Suffice to say that I have entered government service. I thought it would be for a short time, but I feel that I am doing good and making a difference in the world. I cannot share what I am doing or even where I am. The other letter is my cover story. If anyone asks, you can tell them that I've been writing to you from Paris. I wish that it was possible to tell my brothers what I am telling you, but you know that neither of them can keep a secret for long, and my safety depends on secrecy. I hope you understand and will say a prayer for me. I think of you and my brothers every day, and I will be home someday._

As Ben folded up that letter, he walked to the fireplace and tossed it in. Soon his younger sons would be home from working out on the Ponderosa, and he would have to read the letter to them that said that Adam was in Paris. By then, he would have to have real joy or his sons would sense that something was wrong. He poured himself a little sherry and went to try out the story on Hop Sing. He suspected that his first practice wouldn't be that good, but his faithful friend would not challenge him.

While Ben was worrying, Adam found that he had his own worries. His time in Costa Rica had gone as planned. Then he had to make a grueling journey overland until he reached southern Mexico where he began to establish his cover as a disinherited Costa Rican who was looking for ways to make his fortune in Mexico. He had to be sure they knew why he had been disinherited so he went on a bout of carousing that would have made his youngest brother proud. Every night that he spent out on the town, he was sure to tell some part of his story to whatever woman was on his lap or to the men at the table playing cards with him. He wasn't very good at cards apparently and usually lost money by the end of each night. No one could accuse him of cheating that way, and they clamored for him to join a game whenever he walked into a cantina. He awoke in his hotel room one morning to find two men waiting for him to wake. It brought back some unpleasant memories from Cuba, but at least these men seemed to have no ill intentions toward him. They smiled and asked if he had a good enough time the night before to justify how he felt on this morning.

"It is always enough and never enough to justify the pounding in my head and the filth in my mouth. If I could remember it all, I might have a better idea of its worth."

Both men laughed and then just as quickly reverted to a more serious aspect. "We may have an opportunity for you to make some money."

Adam gave them a skeptical look. "I won't break the law. As a Costa Rican here, I doubt that if I was caught, my penalty would allow me to continue to enjoy my life, and I do enjoy life."

"No, senor, it is not illegal, but it could be dangerous. We want you to work for our President. Our country has need of services you may supply."

"What services?"

"You know American businessmen. We understand two of them fired you from your previous job. However all we would ask if for you to make introductions and tell us what American businessmen might be willing to work with us to rebuild our country. They would make great profit, but we have no problem with that. What we need is their investment."

"What do I get out of it?"

"You will be well paid, and you will be given the opportunity to invest as well. Now if these Americans make money because of your help, they would also compensate you, no?"

Sitting up in bed as if the idea was appealing to him more and more, Adam responded noncommittally. "Perhaps. What would I have to do exactly?"

"On behalf of our President, you would write letters to men who would have such an interest. If they respond, you would be the one to advise our President on how to proceed with them. You would talk with them as if our President did not understand English that well. He would listen and speak with you in our language. Americans cannot speak our language. You speak theirs."

"How did you know that?"

"Again, you talk too much. That will have to stop. You will not be allowed to spend your nights in cantinas., drinking, and telling stories. If you could curb that, you could be a rich man soon."

Holding out both hands palms up, Adam shrugged as if to say that was no problem. "When do I start?"

"As soon as you get cleaned up and dressed. You must look good for our President and not like you spent last night as you did. Then we will take you with us to see him."

So Adam got access to the inner circle and actually met with Juarez. He had been warned that the President was very short, but even then, he felt that he should be sitting instead of towering over the four and a half foot president of Mexico. The man had stature well beyond his height though, and had decades of adjusting to the fact that every man he met was likely to be much taller. He had a short talk with Adam and made sure that he was clear of the intent of the letters. He asked if Adam would travel to the United States if necessary, and Adam had to act as if that would be unpleasant and left the impression that he had left the United States under the same kind of dark cloud under which he had fled Costa Rica. So he had access to the inner circle even if he wasn't part of it. He wrote the letters. He gave business advice, and on occasion expressed political opinions careful to make everyone aware that they were simple thoughts that he had. He was making a subtle impact on policies though so his mission was proceeding as planned. About eight months into his tenure as a business liaison for the Mexican government to American businesses, he got a great shock. He went to a meeting with a businessman in Mexico City and came face-to-face with Isabella. Both played their roles well so that no one would ever have guessed they knew each other. That night in his room, Adam found he could not sleep wondering what she was doing there and how much trouble it would be for him.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

As Adam lay staring at the ceiling in his small room, he wondered what he should do. He could tell Juarez that Isabella was a spy for Spain, but that would mean he would have to divulge how he knew that and possibly undo all that he had accomplished as well as earn a firing squad for himself. He could wait to see what she would do. She had apparently been as surprised to see him as he had been to see her. It could have been an act but her red cheeks during the meeting suggested otherwise. She had been as nervous as he had been even if both had hidden it reasonably well. He was glad that no Mexicans had been at that initial meeting. Even if the American businessman had not noticed, he was sure that the Mexicans would have. They still harbored suspicion of him seeing him as more of a profligate Costa Rican than anything else. It had suited his purposes to make them think that, but now he wished he had some allies instead of being alone against Isabella. He assumed she was ruthless, and he worried what actions would result once she began plotting against him for he was certain she would. He heard every rustle of a leaf, every step by anyone in the street below, and even the wind turning the weather vane on the roof. What he didn't hear was a woman slipping through the window of his room until it was too late. She had a knife to his throat and hissed in his ear.

"I was afraid we would meet again. You humiliate me with what you did to me in Cuba. When the others find out, they will laugh. But there is a way for you to stop the laughter. You will not survive it though."

Keeping perfectly still, Adam did his best not to add any pressure to the knife still pressed against his throat, but he did whisper a question. "Then why would I do it?"

"So that your son can live. I can send him to your family in Nevada. Undoubtedly they would want him far more than I do."

Unable to stop himself from reacting to that, he felt the knife bite into his neck a little. But he had to ask. "My son?"

"Yes, our little liaison in Cuba produced an heir for you. The baby is only a few months old, but he had your dark hair and dark eyes. You would be very proud of him if you could see him."

The pressure of the knife eased a little as she had his attention. "You expect me to believe you. Why should I believe a word that you say."

"I can show him to you. Tomorrow, you will make an excuse to take a ride in the country. Ride north out of town. You will be met and taken to where the baby is."

"You would bring a baby on a mission with you?"

"I had to. I'm nursing him. He does need to eat."

"How do I know that I won't be killed instead?"

"You should know better than that by now. If I wanted you dead, you would be dead, and no one would know until morning when the flies and the smell drew their attention. Now I am leaving. Do not forget. If you want to see your son and have him live, make that ride."

"When?"

"That does not matter. You will be watched, and we know that you might have to do some things so we will make the time flexible. By the way, your Spanish has improved remarkably."

She had spoken in Spanish to him for the entire conversation. So immersed in his role, Adam had responded without hesitation. She steeped away from him then, and walked to the door, unlocked it, and left. Adam picked up a towel that he used for shaving and pressed it to the cut in his neck. He had to give her credit for planning on very short notice. He had a few tasks to do the next morning, and then he was free to take that ride. If anyone noticed how distracted he was the next morning, no one said anything. By late morning, he got his horse and began the ride to the north. Only a mile from town, he was intercepted and directed to follow one man as another followed him. He arrived at a small hacienda, and Isabella walked outside with another man. Adam dismounted and walked toward her.

"Ah, I see you are trying to maintain your serious demeanor when inside you must be anxious to see your son." Isabella turned to the man beside her. "Have her bring the baby out here."

A diminutive woman walked out of the home and stood on the veranda in the shade. Isabella motioned for Adam to come forward. He walked as if he was trying to keep his emotions in check but failing almost imperceptibly. I named him Miguel after the archangel. He will be a strong man someday."

"I'm surprised that he has blue eyes."

"He is part Anglo. Why would he not have blue eyes?"

"Of course. He's so dark otherwise that it makes the blue eyes stand out more. Why would you bring him with you on a mission when you have a nurse for him?"

"It is a good cover, no? Who would suspect a mother who is nursing a child to be a spy? It is inconceivable. It is perfect."

"You said I would have to do something to ensure that you would send my son to my family in Nevada. You said I would not survive it, but that I would do it for my son."

"Yes, we have an important job for you."

"Doing what?"

"You will kill Benito Juarez."

That was a jolt to Adam's system. He managed to ask the most obvious question although he surprised even himself with how calm he was able to sound when he asked it. "Why?"

"We have our reasons. They are not important to you. You will do this thing and save your son. You have a great wish to be noble, yes? Kill the man who executes his opponents and save your son. It is a simple plan. You know him well enough. Ask for an audience and stab him to death. You are so much taller than he is. It will be simple for you to do this."

"What if I don't do what you want? You wouldn't kill a baby, would you?"

"No, but you would never see him again, and your family would never see him. Would you like to know that your son was being raised by me?"

With shoulders slumping, Adam asked if he could hold the baby. The woman handed him to him very reluctantly as Isabella stood by smugly. He rocked the child in his arms for a short time and then moved to hand him to Isabella who imperiously pointed to the woman waiting for the baby to be returned to her arms. Adam turned the child over to the woman before turning back to face Isabella.

"You are an asp."

"Perhaps, but I am very good at what I do. I get results."

"When do you expect me to do this thing for you?"

"You have met with the American businessman who was my unwitting cover. You will ask to speak to the Juarez about what the man proposed to you."

"When I ride back into town, they will be suspicious of me because I rode out alone to an unspecified location."

"I remember that you are very good at deflecting suspicion. Do it again, or tomorrow I will leave with your son, and I will raise him to be just like me."

Adam looked over at the baby as if to memorize him and imprint that image on his soul. Then he mounted up and nodded at Isabella before he rode back to town. As expected, when he returned to town, he was questioned by some of Diaz's soldiers. Adam gave them enough so that they released him and went to report to the general. He made the request to see the President later that day and was given an audience at seven. He went to his room to try to think through what he was going to do and tried to anticipate any of the many things that might happen. At six, he cleaned up, shaved, and put on clean clothing. The sour smell of sweat from worrying was gone, and he hoped that he presented a confident air. He walked to the Presidential palace and gave his name. He was admitted immediately and walked to the office where he was to meet with Juarez. When he got there, he told the President immediately that he had been sent there to kill him. Juarez looked at him and smiled.

"I told the others that is what you would do. You are an honorable man. Now tell me what she did to try to get you to do this."

"She said she had a baby and he was my son."

"You did not believe her or are you so loyal to me that you would risk your son."

"I don't believe her. She refers to him as 'the baby' or as my son. She never referred to him as hers. I have seen women who are nursing babies, and shall we say, she does not have the physical attributes of a nursing mother. The woman who brought out the baby for me to see was more attached to him than Isabella was. She told me that the baby had my dark eyes and the baby has blue eyes. She has brown eyes and mine are hazel. The baby is already darker skinned than either of us but closer in color to the woman who brought him out for me to see. He is not my son."

"You have done well. Now will you tell me how you know this woman?"

"She is someone I met on my travels before I came here. She did not like the way we left things then. She wants vengeance and something else. I'm not sure what that is but hopefully she will be disappointed."

"And you? Have you achieved what you wanted?"

"Some of it. I still have more to do."

"Adam, you can tell your President that I appreciated the help and the extraordinary lengths he went to in order to keep it covert. You have done well, but I suggest that you care too much for what you are trying to achieve. The best agents are those without a heart."

Shocked that he had not fooled Benito at all, Adam had to ask how he knew.

"I grew up in Oaxaca. A number of people traveled through our region from places such as Costa Rica as they went north to find gold. I was very familiar with those accents, and yours sounded more like the Cubans I met in New Orleans even if you made an attempt to sound like you were from Costa Rica. You are too tall even for a criollo. Once I realized that Isabella knew you, it all fell into place for me. She told me that you were an American spy which I would soon have guessed anyway as it was the only logical conclusion to draw, but I knew that she was a Spanish one. You had only done good things for us, but I doubted that is what she had in mind. I'm glad that you defeated her. She only brought trouble wherever she was. She was a good agent for her country though. She had no heart; only fanaticism."

Adam noted the past tense but said nothing about it waiting for the President to divulge what he knew. "Do you know what she intended to accomplish?"

"I assume because she told me about you, that she was sending you to try to kill me. You would be unmasked as an American spy, there would be an uproar, and Spain would step in to offer its assistance to us against the giant to our north."

Nodding, Adam felt that he could be even more honest. "I was sent here to help. The President didn't think that you would accept an outright offer."

"No, I could not. Personally, I can take advice or leave it so an advisor's presence here is a resource only, but too many people especially my political opponents would see it as being unduly influenced. I want you to stay for at least a few more months. I want to increase the investment in my country's development. You may have noticed that I am not a well man. I want to do as much as I can before my health fails me completely. You can help me do that. With what you did to bring money into our economy, you did help me to win the election. Then you advised me to compromise with the Congress in order to become stronger. I doubted your advice somewhat, but I did try it, and you were correct. Now I am more securely in charge than I was before. However, if your identity becomes known outside of this office, it would be very bad for me and very bad for you."

"I'll stay until we can work in some other people who will continue to provide you with avenues to pursue American investment here. They will not be Americans, but they will be working with American businessmen and with the American government. As long as there is profit to be made, they will be here."

"You took a big chance telling my opponent about Isabella."

"He may be a power hungry bastard, but he is loyal to his country. He is still basking in the glory of defeating the French and Maximilian. You were allies in that. He will not act against you in the foreseeable future because of that, and I had confidence he would take care of her. If she divulged what I was before that happened, well, she was going to do that one way or another anyway."

"You knew she would be killed?"

"She has made many men disappear. It seemed appropriate."

"You can be a hard man when you need to be one. Now, when you finish here, there is the matter of some outlaw bands operating in northern Mexico. I could use your help in defeating them."

"Are they a threat to you? They are so far away and there isn't much there."

"They intend to raid into the United States to get money. Then they will flee back into Mexico trying to draw the American Army to chase them. If that happens, I would have to protest and Diaz would insist on a military response. It is in the interest of both of our countries to prevent this from happening. You may wish to let your government know of the problem. I will give you all the information I have on them. We will work together well, I think."

"I would like to go out to that hacienda tomorrow and see who the woman was who was there with the child. I want to be sure that she is all right."

"Do not fear. When Porfirio came to me with what you had told him, we worked out a plan for taking care of Isabella. We found the woman and child. You are correct. It was her baby. She lives in shame because his father is a French soldier. We will see that she gets a better chance because she was forced to cooperate but helped us quite willingly."

"Why didn't someone tell me?" After just a moment's thought, Adam knew. "It was a test of me, and you would know what I am by how I reacted. I suppose there are many men waiting to kill me if I had made any move toward you and fulfilling Isabella's request."

"No, I signaled them to withdraw as soon as you spoke to me. You were honest and not a threat, and I wished to speak in confidence with you. Now, you should go get some rest. The next few weeks could be very stressful for you as you have much to do in this game we play."

"Ah, but it is not a game when lives are lost no matter how much it resembles a chess match. In a game there are prizes to be won or lost, but lives should never be forfeit."

"My people have a long history, and sometimes games were played in which the victors got the possessions of the vanquished after they killed them."

"It's not a game I would enjoy regardless of the side I was on."

Benito nodded for it confirmed his opinion that this man was not cut out to be in such a cutthroat business. He was an excellent advisor though, and Benito would miss him, but the risks of him staying were too high for both of them. He bid Adam goodnight, and watched as he stood to leave. "I trust you will use discretion in how this conversation is reported to your superiors."

"Always." For the next several weeks, Adam found himself working from dawn to dusk and sometimes later, but he managed to get solid commitments of investment dollars from several American businessmen, and introduced two men who would take over his duties for Juarez. Within a month, he was packed and on his way back to the United States by an indirect route. He had to maintain his cover for a bit longer as he traveled to Acapulco to board a ship that took him to Nicaragua. He had been instructed to meet a contact in Managua. He was surprised when he met with the man and found that his instructions were not at all what he expected. Earl had established a temporary office in Houston. Adam was to travel to Galveston and then to Houston to find out about his next assignment. He was told to keep the mustache and scruffy look, but he was to travel under a different name. He became William Dickens for the trip back to the United States. He didn't think Shakespeare and Charles Dickens would mind him borrowing their names for a short time.


	13. Chapter 13

6

**Chapter 13**

For several years, Adam had survived because he was always alert and aware of changes in his immediate environment. He had learned never to relax that vigilance. When Melissa walked toward him, he knew that it was her by her tread and the smells as she got closer. She always washed her hair with lavender water. He didn't know how she managed it, but he had noticed that about her the first time they met. He knew that she got a bit stiff sitting at that desk for so many hours of the day and her tread reflected that when she first got up to walk. He knew she stopped behind his chair but wasn't worried. He expected that she would have some paperwork he had to sign or a cool drink for him. What he didn't expect was that her hands were suddenly on his shoulders kneading them and sliding up to his neck and kneading the muscles there. He tensed up a bit at first at the unexpected contact, but it was clear she had done this before. He felt the tension dissolve and then heard her soft voice telling him to relax. She worked for several minutes on just his neck muscles before moving to the larger shoulder muscles as well as the muscles of his upper back.

"Melissa, you could put me to sleep doing that. Thank you. It's wonderful."

"You should sleep. You look exhausted, and the boss isn't due back for at least an hour."

With a deep inhalation and exhalation, Adam succumbed to the desire to relax and close his eyes. Within five minutes, he was asleep. Melissa stepped back unable to continue. She had never touched him before, and the experience had been electric. It was as if her whole body was tingling with the contact even though only her hands had felt those muscles and the warmth of his body. She knew she would have trouble sleeping that night with the feelings the massage had stirred up in her. As she returned to her desk, Betsy smiled knowingly as did Madge. Betsy had had her own fling with the ruggedly handsome agent. Madge knew all about it because Betsy had told her that the time she had had with him had been intense but short. It was clear that he had no interest in a long-term relationship. Madge was very protective of Melissa, but Melissa's red cheeks and her difficulty in meeting their eyes when she sat down again made her smile. By her experience with men, Madge suspected that her younger sister might have a week or two at least of anticipation before he made a move. Madge wasn't so sure about how she felt should Adam and Melissa become intimate. She knew that he and Betsy had, but Melissa was far less sophisticated than Betsy. Betsy was thinking similar thoughts except she believed that Melissa would likely have one glorious night with the man who had invaded her dreams but couldn't see it going any further. When they got a chance to talk privately later, Madge and Betsy agreed that the next few weeks could be very entertaining.

About an hour later, the boss walked in and saw Adam sleeping at the worktable where they spread out maps, drawings, and diagrams when they were putting a plan together. He smiled to see his best agent back safely from another mission. He knew better than to touch a sleeping agent so he simply said Adam's name a few times and roused him that way. Adam rubbed the sleep from his eyes and smiled at his boss.

"Adam, you look like you haven't had a good night's rest since I last saw you almost two months ago. I take it from your look that you were successful?"

"The meeting was scheduled along the river exactly where we thought they might meet. I sat in a cleft in those rocks for two weeks waiting for them to show up. I had a great vantage point and no one could see me in the dark shadows cast by the rocks in that butte. It was hard to get any rest up in those rocks and still keep up my surveillance. Besides it was hot there, so even when I could sleep, it wasn't very restful. When it got dark, I would take my horse down to get watered and then I would let it graze for a time. By the time I got back, there wasn't enough nighttime left to get a good sleep. It was a relief when they finally showed up. I worked my way down near the camp at night when I heard enough to know that their plans included inciting the tribes in Arizona and New Mexico to cover their attempt to move men across the border and take over the towns closest to the border. They won't be doing that now. The men in charge are no longer able to issue orders and pay for those things to be done."

"Permanently unable to do that?"

"Yes, they never left the sandy ground along the river where they met the others. I entered their tent hoping to surprise them and take the money they needed to pay their people and buy things to bribe the tribes, but they were awake. I had a knife ready and had to use it as they thought the two of them could overpower me." Adam thought then about how he had plunged his knife into one man's upper abdomen driving it up into his heart. The other man and he had wrestled until Adam had been able to stab him several times. Both men died quietly. "I was gone before anyone else was awake, but I have to assume that the whole plan is in disarray. I brought back the money they were planning to use to pay their allies." Adam picked up his bulging saddlebags and a large sack then and emptied them on the table.

"There must be well over a fifty thousand dollars there."

"One hundred thousand exactly. Over half of it is in bills but some of it is in bank drafts. I assume we can cash them, but even without them, there's fifty thousand in cash to help fund our work without having to ask Washington for more in our budget."

"As long as we don't enter it into our report?"

"Exactly. I did steal the money after all. Ill gotten gains such as this shouldn't taint the federal treasury."

Earl and Adam laughed as did the three women in the office. The five of them as well as the other two agents in the field at that moment were some of the few honest people left in the federal government. Corruption, graft, and bribery seemed to taint nearly every activity of the federal government as well as most state governments, but their office remained steadfastly honest and devoted to their work. Adam had just returned from a mission that had taken him to the Rio Grande in Texas where an unusually well organized gang of outlaws was planning to disrupt life so that they could rob banks with impunity throughout the southwest. Many citizens would have likely died if they had been successful, and there would have been a severe disruption in the economy of the whole southwest. The information that Adam had gotten from Juarez and sent to Earl was the basis of their plan for this operation. Money like that brought in by Adam funded their operations making them one of the more successful agencies in the government as well.

"Adam, take some time off now. Get some sleep and some good food. We don't have anything in the works right now and we need to see what Frank and Hobbs bring in for us in a week or two."

"Sounds very good to me. I could use a bath, a steak, and about a day in bed."

There were three ladies who suddenly had images in their mind about that although only one of them had realistic images and the others could only imagine. Adam smiled at everyone but singled out Melissa.

"I need to invite you to dinner to show my appreciation for what you did earlier, but I would not be good company this evening. Would you be willing to allow me the pleasure of your company for dinner tomorrow evening?"

"Yes, that would be very nice."

"Good, we can work out the time and place tomorrow. Earl, can I shave now and dress in some more respectable clothing?" Earl nodded. "Good night then, Earl, ladies."

Tipping his hat, Adam left. All four of them watched him walk out the door. Earl noted that Betsy and Madge both took time to look at Melissa and how she followed Adam with her eyes until he entered the hotel across the street from their office. He smiled then and shook his head. Adam had a way with the women that Earl could only dream of having especially because his wife wouldn't appreciate it if he did, and at his age, women were not so likely to see him romantically. He had worried when Adam had first romanced Betsy, but that had turned out not to create any problems, and had seemed to instill more life in her. She was now seeing their other agent, Frank Jessup, and that looked like it might be a long term relationship. Adam flirted with Madge but only in fun, and Earl had no doubt that would have gone further except Madge was married to another agent, Mikal Hobbs. Earl had guessed when he hired Melissa that it might happen with her too, but after a couple of months here in Texas, he had wondered if he had been wrong. Melissa was younger and more reserved than the other two women and much more traditional in her behavior. Now Melissa's bright red cheeks and her staring at Adam as he walked away meant it had simply taken a bit longer for the two of them to warm up to each other. Earl did think that of the three, Melissa was the best match for Adam. Serious and introspective, she had a sharp intellect and despite her demeanor, she longed for adventure. He had heard enough conversations in the office to know that.

The next morning, Adam wrote notes about everything that he could remember seeing and hearing while he was in the field and read over what Melissa had written for him the day before as he dictated his formal report. He still had some work to do to finish his notes and reports on everything that had happened in Mexico. After several hours of that, he was ready for a break and invited Melissa to accompany him to lunch.

"We won't talk any business. You need a break from this as much as I do." He offered his arm, and Melissa slipped her hand into his elbow as he grinned at her. They did make a handsome couple especially now that Adam had shaved and was dressed in his black shirt and pants. As they crossed the street to go to the restaurant closest to their office, Adam heard his name called out by the familiar voice of Billy Drummond. He had known him for years but had no idea what he was doing in Texas.

"Hey, Adam, I heard you was in France, but I knew it was you soon as I saw you. What are you doing in Houston?"

"Hello, Billy. Melissa, I'd like to introduce Billy Drummond. We met years ago under difficult circumstances, but it all worked out in the end. Say, Billy, what are you doing in Texas. Isn't your farm keeping you busy enough?" A master at redirecting a conversation, Adam had taken Billy's mind away from the question he had asked. By asking about Billy, Adam knew he would likely forget about his question to Adam because, like most people, Billy liked to talk about himself.

"Well, my farm didn't do so well, and then I got this chance to go buy cattle for the Cattleman's Association. They tell me what to get and how many. I make the arrangements, and then they send a bank draft to the seller. I hire on some hands and we drive them to Virginia City. It works out real well. I've been to Kansas, Oklahoma, Wyoming, and now Texas. I really like this job." At that time, a man hailed Billy from across the street. "Sorry, Adam, I got to go. I'll be sure to tell your family I saw you. Hope you're headed home soon. Your Pa sure misses you."

Watching Billy walk across the street, Adam was pensive. Melissa asked what he was thinking. "I was nearly sure and that about wrapped it up for me. I'm going home. I've had enough of this work. It was invigorating but stressful. I have other ideas. I would like to build things, perhaps teach some, and reconnect with my family."

"Earl suspected that was going to happen. When we knew you were coming back from Mexico, he said he had to enlist you in this mission before you got back and said you were through. It was rather sneaky of him, but I guess that people in this business are naturally sneaky."

"Yes, there's some of that. It's part of what I want to get away from. I would like more honest relationships with people. This kind of life is so isolated. Now that's enough of that. We're supposed to be having lunch and talking about anything except work."

Lunch went well. Melissa had to ask though how his family was likely to take the news that Billy was bringing to them.

"Oh, Pa will be wondering just what it is that I'm doing. He knows I'm in government service and that it is covert because I can't tell him what I'm doing. Hoss will be worried. He'll likely look over at Pa with that expression that says 'Well, are you going to tell me what's going on or are you just going to let me worry?' but nothing more. Joe will be mad."

"Why mad? I would think he would be happy to know that you're alive."

"He'll think that I've been deceiving them. He'll be especially upset because he'll think that I've hurt our father somehow by keeping my whereabouts a secret and not coming home when I'm so close. He'll get over it, but I'll need to keep my guard up when I get home. He's been known to swing first and ask questions later when it comes to me."

That was the reaction that occurred on the Ponderosa a few weeks later when Billy returned with his news. However by then, Adam was no longer intending to go home. Instead he was headed even further away, and it would be months before Ben found out what happened and years later before he found out where Adam was. As Adam and Melissa had dinner later the same day they met Billy, there was no opportunity for any romance. Earl showed up at the restaurant and signaled to them that they needed to come with him. Adam paid the bill and escorted Melissa back to the office after Earl said only that there was trouble. Once inside the safe confines of the office, the blinds and curtains were drawn and only one lamp was lit. Earl began to explain as Frank and Mikal flanked him looking worried.

"It seems that there is a big leak in our government. It shouldn't surprise anyone that people working for our government can be bribed. The reports filed here went to our Denver office and then were shipped out to Washington. Frank and Mikal will fill in the rest."

Midal spoke first. "Adam, our outlaw groups know who killed their leaders and took their money. They have the name Adam Carta, and there will soon be people looking for him. They put up a big reward. It's not legal, but there are a lot of men who might be willing to ignore that for the five thousand dollars."

Then Frank made clear just how serious the situation had become. "When I met with our Mexican Army contacts, there was a message from President Juarez's office. The Spanish are looking for you too in the disappearance of Isabella. Juarez won't help them, but from the information they got from the men helping her, she disappeared after meeting with you."

Then Earl took over. "Adam, you aren't safe here. You probably aren't safe anywhere they can find you, and if you go back to Nevada, the danger will likely follow you there and endanger your family and perhaps others."

Shocked at all that he had heard, Adam had only one question. "Earl, then what do you think I ought to do."

"You can't go to Europe. They already know too much there. You can't go to any country where the Spanish have a lot of influence yet. Is there any other part of the world that you've wanted to see? Perhaps China? the Sandwich Islands? Australia?"

"Would I still be working for the government?"

"No, I sensed that you were ready to be done with that. I was going to give you a big sendoff party to celebrate. Now, I'll give you as much cash as I can, and you can live your life any way you wish. After a few years, it will be safe. The trail will be cold, and they'll move on to other pressing matters. We can sow all sorts of misinformation by then too. However right now, we need to get you out of here. I'll close up the office, and we'll all head back to Washington."

"How will I get to Australia?"

"We'll make travel arrangements first thing in the morning. We'll get you stage tickets to Galveston where you can catch a boat to Nicaragua, cross over, and get a ship on the other side. We have good contacts in that country who will help. I'm thinking that you'll take the cash you brought back. That ought to take care of any expenses you have and get you well established in your new home."

Betsy brought up a pertinent point. "Won't they be looking for a dark haired man traveling alone? Perhaps one of us ought to go with him as far as Galveston."

Madge offered a second one. "If a boat from Galveston is heading south, they may stop at a Mexican port or two along the way. Wouldn't it be better if Adam left from New Orleans by ship?"

Those ideas quieted the whole group for a time. Melissa surprised everyone with her suggestion. "I'll travel with Adam. I can get a wig from one of the ladies at the saloon and dress up. People will likely pay more attention to me than to Adam. Then after we get some distance away from here, I can throw the wig away and dress more conservatively. We'll blend into the people traveling so that no one will give us a second look."

Madge was shocked at the idea of her sister being in such danger, but Melissa looked at her and told her she wanted to do it. Adam said that he wouldn't let her put herself in such jeopardy, but she had an answer for that.

"We won't be in any jeopardy if you keep that grin of yours under wraps and don't flirt with any ladies. Use that sourpuss expression of yours, and no one will want to look at you twice."

There was a shocked silence at first at her comments until Adam couldn't help it and started laughing. Soon a cathartic laugh was enjoyed by all until Earl told them to get a good night's sleep because they had a lot to do the next day. Finally only Melissa and Adam were still in the office.

"This is going to be difficult, Melissa. You think about this overnight. You can always change your mind."

"The only difficult thing is to pretend to be married to you. I assume we'll have to share rooms along the way."

"I promise I'll be a perfect gentleman."

Melissa rather hoped he wouldn't be too perfect. Adam's mind was whirling with everything that had happened and never saw the look Melissa gave him when he said that. Instead he offered her his arm to walk her to the hotel. Adam had trouble sleeping that night. The next day everything proceeded as Earl had said it would. Madge bid her sister goodbye and said she would wait to hear from here once she reached New Orleans. Then she whispered in Melissa's ear, and the two women shared a laugh before one last hug. Melissa didn't look so much like Melissa with the big blond wig she was wearing and the fancy dress. Her more conservative clothing was packed, and she would begin wearing that in a few days. Adam helped her into the stage and climbed in behind her pulling down the canvas curtain next to him. Adam was very quiet on the ride, and Melissa spent her time talking with the two men riding with them. As far as she was concerned, it was working just the way it should. The two men would likely recall her very well and hardly remember Adam. That night, they got a room in the small town where they were to spend the night. Adam ordered dinner to be delivered to their room. As they ate, Melissa noted that he hardly ate anything. She had a fairly good idea of why.

"Thinking of home and your family?"

"You're very perceptive. I was thinking yesterday morning that I had made up my mind to go home. While I was in Mexico and then even more as I waited at the Rio Grande for the meeting to take place, I would look at the stars and wonder if anyone in my family was looking at them too. I miss my family and the Ponderosa more than I thought I would. Now I won't see them for years perhaps."

Melissa moved around the table and stood by him to invite him to stand for a hug. He was slightly embarrassed to need it, but he did stand and hug her. They stood that way for quite a long time until Adam apologized for her food getting cold. Then as she looked up at him, he leaned down and kissed her. It started as a brotherly style kiss but quickly became more passionate as Adam's tongue probed her lips until she granted him entry. She hadn't been kissed much and certainly never like this. She didn't know what to do except he teased her tongue with his until she responded by dueling his tongue with hers. When she pushed her tongue into his mouth slightly, she felt his whole body press against her with his arm around her shoulders and the other around her waist. She put her hands up against his chest to pull away slightly.

"I'm sorry. I should never have been so bold with you." Adam was going to release her, but Melissa had other ideas.

"No, don't feel sorry, but I needed to catch my breath. I was feeling a bit faint there. I think that I may have forgotten to breathe."

Smiling, Adam looked down at her. Her cheeks were flushed and her lips were full and red. He knew that if he tried, he could probably seduce her, but he didn't want to. Not like this and not here. "I think we should stop. I respect you too much to take advantage of you, and no matter what you think, I would feel that I was taking advantage of you." Looking around the room, Adam decided on how to proceed. "I'll sleep on the divan. You sleep on the bed."

"No, the divan is too short for either of us. We have another few days of riding on a stage as uncomfortable as that is. I'll sleep under the covers and you can sleep on top of them. That should be enough."

Grinning, Adam had to tease her a little. "I usually don't wear anything when I sleep."

"Well, tonight you better wear pants. You need to be ready for anything."

It was a sobering thought and wiped any ideas of romance from his head. He nodded and checked the windows to make sure there was no easy access to them, and then he pulled a small dresser in front of the door.

"I'll turn my back and let you dress for bed."

Once Melissa was in a gown, she slipped under the covers and then told Adam. He blew out the lamp, and then she heard the rustle of clothing and the sound of his boots as he took them off and dropped them next to the bed. He lay in the bed then making the mattress dip to his side, and Melissa by necessity rolled next to him.

"I'm not changing my mind, woman. Tonight is just for sleeping." She was about to protest but heard his chuckle. He was teasing her again. She lay on her side then and closed her eyes. She felt safe and loved. It was a good feeling to have. She had about a week to answer the question her sister had whispered in her ear.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

For Adam and Melissa, travel to New Orleans was peaceful. There was no sign of pursuit nor that anyone took them as anything other than a married couple traveling together. Melissa was quite a bit younger than Adam but that wasn't so unusual as to draw any particular attention. As they traveled though, Adam thought that perhaps it would help if her name was different. He asked if she had any preferences.

"My family called me 'Mo' when I was younger. I guess they thought it wasn't ladylike enough as I got older and stopped calling me that, but I wouldn't mind if you called me that."

"Well, Mo, what would you like for dinner this evening?"

"Do we have to eat in the room again? Maybe this time we could eat in a restaurant like any normal couple would?"

"Yes, we could. There's been no sign that their pursuit of me has gotten close. The Spanish are probably still investigating and trying to determine where I went after I left Mexico, and the outlaws are most likely wondering where I am too. With Earl closing up that office and leaving, they aren't going to have many clues."

"Maybe you won't have to leave the country then. I'll miss you so much if you go."

"I have to go. The pursuit is well behind me now, but eventually they'll pick up my trail, and my life won't be worth much at that point. I'd also be putting others in danger by being with them if I stayed. I can't do that. It was my choice to do the things I did."

"But you were patriotic and noble to do those things. You shouldn't have to lose everything because you served your country." Seeing how downcast Adam was when she said that, Mo tried her best to lighten the mood. "Of course, I'm benefiting by being able to travel with you and kiss you."

"Mo, I'm sorry if I made you feel that I've taken advantage of you. I was being selfish by kissing you and trying to find some comfort that way."

"Adam, you have nothing to be sorry about because I wanted you to kiss me. I still do. You have been a gentleman about everything. Maybe we should go to dinner before this conversation gets any more melancholic?"

Nodding, Adam offered his arm to Mo, but had to wonder what she had meant by those last statements. He was depressed about having to leave, but he began to hope that Mo had such strong feelings for him that she might consider continuing on his travels with him. His exile would be so much more pleasant with a woman like Mo by his side. Almost as soon as he had that thought, he dismissed it as ungallant. He couldn't ask her to give up her life and leave her sister behind. It was only a little fantasy, and he assumed it could never be reality. Thinking like that only made him feel worse because it was one more thing he couldn't have. He had thought government service would be rewarding. It was, but he was paying a high price for what he had done.

Walking beside Adam, Mo felt bad too. She had hoped that when she hinted about staying with him by saying how much she liked being with him that Adam would suggest a more permanent bond. Instead, he apologized for being forward with her. She didn't want his damn apology. She was feeling a bit petulant because she wanted him to say he loved her, and she even surprised herself with the vehemence of her thoughts. She was quiet throughout dinner. After dinner, when Adam offered his arm, she said it was too warm so she would walk by herself. Unwilling to have an argument in front of witnesses, Adam waited until they were back in the room to ask her what was wrong.

"Did I do something to make you angry? You seem upset with me, and I don't know why. Perhaps I'm being dense about this, but could you please tell me what made you unhappy?"

"It's nothing. I was being silly. I'll be fine now."

Mo smiled at him then, but he could easily see that the smile was forced. He stepped up close to her, and on a hunch, he pulled her to him and kissed her as passionately as he had the first time. He had been holding back since then not wanting to test his ability to control his urges with her, but he had to wonder now if she wanted him to hold back or want more. He got his answer by her response to his kiss.

"Adam, I love you. Please say you love me, and that you want me to come with you. I do, you know. I want to be with you. Oh say something, please."

Adam put a hand on each side of her face and drew her close. With his mouth only an inch from hers, he declared his feelings before kissing her again but with great tenderness. He pulled away then and wrapped his arms around her. Looking down at her, he smiled. "I do love you. I do want you with me, but am I asking too much? Would you leave your sister and your life behind to travel with me into an unknown future?"

"Madge is going to have a baby soon. Both she and Mikal are going to leave their jobs and move to Denver. He has family there, and they have promised him a job. So I would have to leave any life I had anyway, and Madge won't have much time for me once she has that baby and a new house. Adam, I want what she has. I want a man who loves me enough to keep me by his side forever."

"Well, then there's only one more thing to do." He felt Mo stiffen a little in his arms. He smiled at her nervousness. "No, not that, at least not yet. No, Mo, will you marry me?"

Relieved that he didn't want more intimacy yet but a little disappointed that he didn't want more intimacy yet, she smiled and answered. "Yes, yes, I will."

"Well, a change in plans then. I will not let my father miss this moment, and Madge will want to be there for our wedding too. We'll stay in New Orleans a week. We'll wire Madge and have her turn around and head back, and I'll have Earl wire my father to come to New Orleans. As soon as they get there, we'll get married. We should get to New Orleans tomorrow. We'll get a room and make arrangements. Is that all right with you?"

"It's all I could ask for. Thank you so much." Mo wrapped her arms around Adam's neck and pulled him to her for a kiss, and it wasn't a chaste kiss either.

"Sweetheart, you keep doing that, and I won't be able to wait for our wedding night."

"Do we have to wait?"

"You were such a respectable girl. Have I corrupted you so much already?"

"It's not corruption. You're teaching me how to get the most out of life."

Holding her close to him, Adam tried to think of how to show respect for her and to satisfy their urges too. Finally he had a plan. He always felt better when he had a plan to guide his actions. "Yes, I don't want to wait either. But I do want our wedding night to be special so what I think we should do is that we should get married tomorrow. We can have a sheriff or a judge do it. Then when we get to New Orleans, I'll get us a very nice room and we can be romantic. In fact, we can be romantic for the rest of the week. When Pa and Madge arrive, we'll have a religious wedding ceremony. How does that sound to you?"

When Adam and Mo had started the trip, he was grateful for her company as well as her assistance. However as they had traveled, there were hours and hours of conversation between them. He found out her family history as well as her dreams of the future and her unfulfilled desires. Her honesty and forthright demeanor had encouraged him to open up about some of the feelings and thoughts he had about what he had done in his life so far and what he envisioned for the future. He had been attracted to her physically the first time he had met her, but had found her reserved nature made it difficult for him to warm up to her emotionally. That had vanished in the days spent traveling and talking, and the night times spent relaxing together. She had adapted very well to difficult conditions especially the problems in maintaining privacy while masquerading as a married couple. She didn't complain about things that she could not change. She simply did her best. Adam admired that kind of spirit and knew he was falling in love with her. At first, he had assumed it would be another of his failed romances, but as the week progressed, he had begun to hope that she might love him too. When she had declared her love that evening, his heart had melted. Knowing what he faced, she was willing to share it and make sacrifices to do so. He could not have asked more of any woman. Her answer to his question was to pull his head down for another kiss. It was enjoyable for both, and Mo wasn't sure she would be able to talk at that point anyway so her nonverbal communication was the solution. Adam seemed to enjoy it too but pulled away after just a minute.

"Sweetheart, I want to do so much more, but it would be better if we stopped now and got some sleep. We need to be up early tomorrow to get married before we catch the stage, and then we'll be on board a ferry that will take us to New Orleans."

"I know this must be hard for you."

Leaning back, Adam looked down at her wondering if she knew the double meaning of that statement. She looked up at him with such innocence, he knew she didn't but then realization hit and her cheeks burned bright red.

"Oh, I'm so sorry to talk that way. I didn't realize what I had said. That's not like me to talk that way."

"It's all right. In fact, I wouldn't mind at all if you talked that way to me in private. I know you would never talk that way in front of others, and it would be our special bond that I knew the private you that no one else knows."

"You didn't like it that Betsy talked about the night she had with you, did you?"

"No, I like her, and we had fun, but I could never tolerate my private life being a discussion topic for others' amusement. Yes, that bothered me. There was no chance for us to be more than friends after that. I knew that Earl and Marcia would know we had been together, but she should never have shared any details."

"How did you know?"

"After she told Madge, she talked to Mikal about it, and he thought it was funny so he teased me about it. I don't blame Madge or Mikal. I could see myself do that too in a similar situation, but it never would have happened if Betsy hadn't talked about what we did privately. Did she talk to you about it?"

Mo shyly shook her head no but the blush said there was more to it. Adam motioned to her to say the rest. "She tried to talk to me about it, but I said I would rather find out for myself."

Looking at her to see if she was serious, Adam wrapped his arms around her as he laughed. "You are amazing. That was a perfect answer. When was that?"

"Ah, it was just after I first met you. I didn't really mean it then, but I didn't want to talk about that kind of thing. She thought it was funny, and she never talked to me about anything like that again."

"You are very clever. I like that, but now we do need to get some sleep."

"Adam, I have to ask you something." He nodded and waited. "Have you peeked while I was getting dressed for bed or in the morning?"

The grin was answer enough. "Now, sweetheart, you wouldn't deny a man who was about to go into exile alone a few sweet visions to take with him?"

"Adam?" He nodded again. "I knew you were peeking."

Laughing again, Adam realized he hadn't laughed like that in a long time. It felt good. Being with Mo felt good. He knew he would carry some doubts with him about whether this whole plan was a good idea, but he had to believe it was the best decision he could make. Later as he turned down the lamp and lay on the covers next to Mo, he was smiling. He rolled over and put an arm protectively around her coaxing her to snuggle next to him. That's how they slept that night, and the next morning, they dressed and packed early before going in search of the sheriff of the small town who willingly married them. Adam paid the small fee for the service and tipped the man generously leaving him smiling almost as much as Adam and Mo were smiling as they headed to the stage after sending the two telegrams they needed to send.

Adam cautioned Mo before they got on the stage. "The sheriff knows but no one else. We can't act like we're newly married. We need to act as we have and seem like we've been married at least a couple of years."

"Why?"

"Because Adan Carta and Adam Cartwright are not married. If they chance on our trail and don't find a single man, they will be stymied in their search. If it appears we're newly married, they might guess that it's a cover story."

"I have to tell you I don't like this spy business. There are so many risks and dangers, and you never feel safe."

"Yes, that about sums it up. Now we need to get going." Adam grabbed both bags and motioned for Mo to walk ahead of him. Once on the stage, they introduced themselves with first names and the other passengers did the same. They talked of scenery, weather, and other innocuous topics and the few hours seemed to be longer. When they finally reached the Mississippi, they found passage on a boat to New Orleans. Adam carried their bags on board, and they stood at the rail on the way downriver to the city. There were many black people camped out on the levee causing Adam to ask if anyone knew why. They were told that these people wanted to travel west and were waiting for a big enough group to do it.

"Yeah, they call 'em Exodusters, like the Exodus part of the Bible. In this case, they're running away from white government and hoping to find a place for themselves in the west. Lots of 'em seem to be going to Kansas. After last year's yellow fever epidemic, some would rather wait out here on the levees rather than be in the city."

It was sobering information. So many people wanted freedom, and the War hadn't resolved the problem. Adam remembered telling Benito Juarez that changing the law didn't change what was in the hearts and minds of people. It was certainly true in what they saw. As they neared the city, there were seven steamboats tied up at the wharves getting cotton loaded on board. There was a lot of traffic which made Adam smile. When Mo asked why, he explained that if anyone was following them, it was unlikely that they could follow them into the city. There were too many people and too much commotion for anyone to remember them.

Once in the city, Adam hailed a carriage and asked the driver if he could take them to a nice hotel. He did and smiled with the generous tip he received for his efforts. Once he left, Mo asked Adam if it was a good idea to be tipping that way as it made him more memorable. Surprised, he looked at her and agreed that she was correct. He planned to only give moderate tips from that point on. They were pleased with the hotel though. Apparently some high-ranking officers had billeted there during the was and had insisted that the latest amenities be added to the rooms. They had a water closet, a balcony that had French doors with blinds that could be closed, and a small changing area. Mo laughed.

"When we finally don't need the privacy, we get all we could want."

Moving close to Mo, Adam slipped one arm around her waist and cupped her cheek with the other kissing her with unleashed passion. There no longer was any reason to hold back, although later he would force himself to slow down for her sake. The first thing that he did was to remove his shirt. It was hot, and he felt a lot better with his shirt off. Mo had seen him that way many times so that was not threatening to her. He pulled her to him and for the first time though, she was able to run her hands across his chest and touch him in ways that she never had before. He kissed her and then trailed kisses down her neck and along the neckline of her dress. She was slightly salty to his taste so he suggested that they go in the water closet to clean up.

"Don't we go in there alone?"

"For some things, yes, but for this, we'll squeeze both of us in there."

Once in the water closet, Adam took one of the thick cotton cloths and wet it thoroughly. He wiped Mo's face very gently.

"Now, doesn't that feel better?"

Mo nodded, so Adam wiped her neck after putting a finger under her chin to get her to tip her head back.

"If you want me to do more, you're going to have to unbutton that dress and slip that and your underthings to your waist."

Sensing her nervousness at disrobing in front of him, Adam leaned forward and kissed her again. He was quiet and still as she unbuttoned her dress letting it fall. Then she slipped one strap of the chemise and let it fall free of her shoulder before she did the same with the other. As the straps fell, she shook her arms free of the chemise and was disrobed to the waist. Very slowly and sensuously, Adam used the cool wet cloth to bath her. Then he handed the cloth to her and dropped his arms at his sides so she could do the same for him. She started on his face, and then did his neck before making circular strokes around his chest. He heard her breathing increase as she moved down to his abdomen. He took the cloth from her hands and pulled her close for another kiss. Then without releasing her, he began backing her toward the bed. When he got there, he helped her remove the rest of her clothing and kissed her again and again. She lay back on the bed, and he unbuttoned his pants as she studiously kept her eyes on his face. Sensing how nervous she was, Adam lay down beside her. He pulled her close to him and pressed his body against hers. All they did for several minutes was to kiss until he took her hand and told her that she could touch him anywhere she wanted. She ran her hands across his chest again as he used one hand to caress her.

"If it becomes too much for you, you only need to say no to me. We don't have to do everything tonight. We have a lifetime to learn about each other and to show our love to each other."

Mo never said no and when they lay in each other's arms later, she couldn't seem to stop kissing him. She kissed his lips, his shoulders, and trailed kisses across his chest except she said that his chest hair tickled.

"Adam, that was wonderful. I love you, and I love that you were so patient with me."

"It will be even more wonderful the next time when you're more relaxed."

"Oh, that's something to look forward to. When will we do that again?"

"If you're willing, we'll do it again later. Now, I think we should have some of that champagne I ordered. It's chilling but if we don't drink some soon, it will get warm."

They toasted their love a few times, made love again, and then fell asleep with both of them under the covers. In the morning, Adam awakened with his wife in his arms. He nearly cried with the knowledge that she would be there all day and all night for the rest of their days. Mo awakened then and saw his eyes glistening in the morning light.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. It's just that for the first time, things are so right."

And Mo pulled him to her letting him rest his head against her chest as she gently stroked his back. She knew that he had bared his soul to her, and she loved him all the more because he trusted her so much. She was determined to be worthy of his love and trust. Adam was thinking the very same things pledging in his heart to do his best to show Mo his love.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

Resting in bed after spending three days together celebrating their marriage, Adam had a question for Mo. "What did your sister whisper to you when we were leaving?"

Mo moved up to lean on Adam's chest and look down at his face to see his reaction. "She wanted to know if I was going to go with you further than New Orleans. I think she guessed at how strong my feelings for you were becoming even if I didn't show them much."

"But she guessed I would have similar feelings?"

"I think she thought that if I offered, you wouldn't say no. I have no idea exactly what she was thinking about that. She never said anything about you to me other than to tease me a little about how I looked at you."

"I did notice that too. It is very flattering to have a beautiful lady look at you that way."

"I've been wondering why we haven't heard anything back from Earl or Madge though. It's been days and there's been no response."

"It could be that the telegraph office has had trouble finding us. Let's get dressed and go check on that. We can send another wire if need be. If we do that, then we can take another walk to see what nice place we can find to have lunch. After lunch, we'll head back to see if there's a reply." All of that went according to plan, but what left their plans awry was the response they got from Earl. Adam read the telegram and with his stone face in place ushered Mo from the telegraph office. He leaned down and whispered in her ear.

"We need to pack and leave!"

The sense of urgency in his voice made Mo cooperate without asking questions. Adam realized later that it was another reason he loved her. She trusted him implicitly. But first, they had to pack and check out of the hotel. Adam got them a ride to the docks and then checked around until he could book passage out of New Orleans headed south. For a fat fee, a captain of a ship agreed to drop them off in Nicaragua. They got on board that ship and found their quarters cramped but acceptable. Once they were sitting in that cabin where they could not be overheard, Adam explained their predicament.

"Earl never got our first message. He checked with Madge and she never received her message either. Someone intercepted those and was likely already in or near New Orleans looking for us. We won't be safe until we're on a ship to Australia. Until then, we need to be very careful."

"Can we trust the captain of this ship?"

"As much as we can trust anyone at this time. I fired off a quick telegram to Earl letting him know that we were leaving and that he needs to find the traitor in his department."

"Adam, I've never been on a ship before. I've heard that people get sick on a ship."

"It hasn't happened to me yet. Some do, but most don't. As long as the winds are fair and there are no storms, you should be fine too."

After they felt the ship begin to move, Adam and Mo waited until it was well south of New Orleans before they came on deck. The ship was moving very slowly as it navigated out to sea. It was a pleasant interlude in an otherwise tense day. By late afternoon, the ship had reached the Gulf and the full sails were unfurled to take advantage of the light winds. The voyage to Nicaragua was pleasant, and the captain was true to his word and dropped them off there as requested. Adam arranged for transportation and they traveled across to Managua without incident. Because of his worry about a double agent or traitor in Earl's office, Adam did not go through his contact there but made travel arrangements himself. Within three weeks of leaving New Orleans, Adam and Mo were on their way to Australia. Adam could sense the sadness in his wife and felt much the same way. He pulled paper out of his valise and suggested they write letters to family. He also handed a leather bound journal to Mo.

"You have no one to talk to except me. If you want to say anything you're not comfortable saying to me, you can write it in here. Journaling can be a nice way to get your thoughts organized and have some place to put them so you can think about them later."

While in New Orleans, Adam had picked up a few books as did Mo. They had those as well as writing to keep them busy for the long voyage. They spent hours on deck watching the ocean especially when they were near land or islands because often there were whales breaching or dolphins running ahead of the ships bow. There were a few storms but no strong winds or dangerous wave condition so overall the trip went about as well as they could have expected. They were traveling as Mr. and Mrs. William Dickens. Adam intended to drop that name as soon as they arrived in Sydney. As they passed the headlands of Sydney Harbor, he pulled Mo close to him as they stood side-by-side looking at their where they would be living for at least several years.

"Adam, it's exciting and frightening all at once. I am so hopeful and so scared that my stomach feels like it's rolling over and over inside me."

"I know what you mean. There are a lot of unknowns to face, but we have each other. We'll stop at two banks first, and then we'll get a room for the night. Tomorrow we'll see about getting a house to rent if that's possible here. We have a lot to learn about our new home."

"It's beautiful, and it's good that we can finally relax, but I'm not sure it will ever feel like home."

"Sweetheart, it's not permanent, but it will be home for several years at least. You're not having second thoughts now, are you, because it's a long way back home?"

"Oh, no, I didn't want you to think that. I guess I'm just being a bit maudlin thinking about what I've lost instead of what I've gained. Now, the captain will take our letters back with him, won't he?"

"Yes, he's promised that he will. I'm sorry that we can't trust anyone enough to let them know where we are, but at least they'll know we're safe."

"When will we be able to give them an address so that they can send letters too?"

"You know that. We've already discussed it. It will probably be two years at least."

"I know, but I have this dream that I ask you that, and you tell me that it will all be over in a few months. I know it won't, but I can always hope."

As Adam and Mo disembarked, they saw quite a few soldiers and asked if there was a problem. They were told that the 2nd Battalion of the 14th Regiment had just arrived, and that there would be a lot less of a military presence once the soldiers were assigned to barracks or sent off to one of the other posts in Australia. Most likely some of them were headed to Tasmania. Relieved that they had not stepped from one tense situation into another, Adam and Mo asked for directions to the nearest bank. They were told to walk up Pitt Street from Circular Quay where they were and got directions on how to find King Street and St. George Street because those streets apparently had all the things they wanted to find that day: banks, a hotel, and a restaurant. Adam deposited about a third of his money in that first bank. With such a large deposit, the bank president came out to speak with him, introduced himself, and asked Adam what his plans were in Australia.

"Mr. Cadbury, I have no specific plans at present. I've got experience with ranching, mining, and building. I have done some teaching and wouldn't mind that at the college level. I would like to do some investing as well, but first I need to learn more about this country."

"Sydney University is being developed. You might wish to inquire there of opportunities to teach. As for the others, I would be pleased to help you with that. You brought quite a bit of cash with you. May I ask, weren't you afraid of being robbed on the way?"

"No one knew we were carrying so much. We did our best to look like any other man and woman traveling and looking for opportunity. Perhaps you could put me in touch with some potential employers or make some recommendations for investments?"

"I would be most pleased to do so. Perhaps you could meet with me at one tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow, I want to familiarize myself with Sydney and find a place to rent. Perhaps we could meet on the next day?"

"I'm sorry, but that is Sunday."

"I'm sorry too. I had not realized what day it was. On board ship, each day was like the one before and the one after. Monday?"

"Certainly, and I have some recommendations I could make already about housing. If you don't mind a modest little house, there is one only a few blocks from here. It's near the church and is available. I live not too far from there and pass that house daily. I could give you the address if you would like to check it over. In fact, as a newly arrived client, I would like to invite you to dinner on Sunday at my house. I should think that you would welcome a home cooked meal, and your wife could meet my wife. There aren't as many women here as we had hoped, and she gets lonely for female companionship."

"Thank you so much. Melissa and I would be pleased to join you for dinner. Perhaps you could tell us where to find a church to attend?"

"We attend the Anglican church that you will see if you look at that house I mentioned."

"Thank you. We'll be there Sunday. We'll have to purchase some clothing so that we look respectable enough. I'm sure we can take care of that tomorrow."

"Oh, the shops will be open late tonight. Many people come into town on Friday night so the shops stay open to accommodate them. Many of them will be open until midnight tonight."

The bank president then got busy writing all sorts of information for Adam including his address. He also recommended a hotel for them to use that night. Adam looked over at Mo who smiled. After thanking Mr. Cadbury, Adam and Mo left and moved on to another bank after asking in a store for directions to another bank. They got a similar treatment there and received more advice and recommendations. Taking their leave of Mr. Sussex there, they walked to the hotel that had been recommended. The business district of Sydney was compact and pleased Adam with its overall organization. They got a room and ate dinner in the hotel restaurant where they discussed all that had happened. After dinner, they did some shopping for clothing doubling their wardrobes and getting clothing that would be appropriate for attending church as well as having dinner at Mr. Cadbury's home. Mo chuckled every time Adam mentioned his name.

"Do you suppose that we'll have to call him Mr. Cadbury in his home. I suppose then that there's Mrs. Cadbury, and Young Mr. Cadbury and Miss Cadbury."

"Be careful. We could be overheard, and we're the strangers here. We need these people to help us get established."

"I'll be good. I whispered because that was meant only for you. Now, can we go to our room? I want to have a long bath."

"That sounds wonderful. Perhaps we can take a bath together?"

"Not on your life, mister. I've not had a bath in months, and I know what will happen if you get anywhere near that tub while I'm in it. No, tonight you have to wait until I've had time to pamper myself." Adam looked disappointed. "If you will grant me this one request, I'll give you a massage, and you know how much you like it when I do that." That made Adam smile and stand to offer Mo his arm. They needed to get to the room before he embarrassed himself by his reaction to thinking about his wife's offer. She kept her word too, but as always happened, the massage turned into something more. They felt like they were in the lap of luxury though after having made do with shipboard bunks that were too short for Adam. He had to sleep with knees bent or his feet hanging off the bunk to the side. Finally, they could sleep side-by-side, and Adam could stretch out his legs in comfort.

Adam and Mo slept late the next morning, and then had to rush for they needed to see about the house, buy more clothing, and get to know the city a bit. Then they were even busier as they did rent the small house which was immediately available and furnished. However they needed to get food and some fuel for the stoves as well as bedding, towels, and linens. By Saturday evening, they had packed everything away and stood in the kitchen of their small house. Mo started to cry.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong? I know I pushed hard to do everything today. I'm sorry if it was too much for you."

"No, it's that it's our first home. I haven't had a home for so many years, and now I have one with you." Mo stepped into the embrace that Adam offered and sniffled for a time on his shoulder. He caressed her back and held her to him until he felt her relax and heard her breathing return to normal.

"There, now we've had a long day and we have two commitments for tomorrow. Do you want to get some sleep?"

"I was thinking that we should do something else to make this house our home?"

Tired, Adam wondered what she could mean. He had actually been looking forward to going to bed. "Anything, sweetheart. What would you like us to do?"

Mo began unbuttoning his shirt and slid her hands inside. "I thought we could do something together that a man and a woman can do in their own home any time they want to."

Adam shook his head as he looked down at her. "What have I done? A few months ago, you were shy and I had to talk you through it. Now, you are becoming an insatiable woman."

"I know. For the last week, it seems to be on my mind all the time. I can't wait for opportunities to have you ravish me."

"Seriously, I'm ravishing you?"

Chuckling, Adam picked her up and carried her to the small bedroom with the full sized bed where he proceeded to satisfy her request. They did sleep well especially after that, and in the morning, walked to the church for services. Then they took a stroll around their neighborhood and met a few people who lived there. By the middle of the afternoon, they returned to their home, relaxed for a time, and then dressed for dinner arriving as invited at seven.

Dinner went very well. Adam got a lot of contacts that he used over the next month to make investments and find employment. He was hired as a consultant on a mining operation that left time for him to see if he could also teach. Eventually he had a day free and made his way to the fledgling Sydney University. There was a plain solid picket fence on each side of the road leading up the hill to the school. The road itself was a simple dirt track for the time being, but the building was magnificent and sat majestically atop the hill. Adam thought he would like working for people who built a school of higher learning on a hill, and made the building of great size that dominated the view and had grand features enough to impress any one who saw it. The administrators of the school were equally impressed with Adam and he was signed up to teach one class on mining engineering the following term. He had plenty of time to get ready, and in fact, as he worked on the research he needed, he started writing a book about the topic. Each chapter was in effect one week's lesson. The parlor in their home became a de facto office for Adam.

The dinner was a great success too for Mo who found a friend in Sarah Cadbury. The two spent a lot of time chatting especially in the afternoons as Sarah's children napped. The afternoon of the day Adam was hired to teach at Sydney University, he arrived home after Mo had spent hours with Sarah, and found her writing in her journal. She hadn't done that since they had left the ship. He worried constantly that she would tire of this life in exile and leave him to go back to the United States so he watched quietly as she wrote seemingly oblivious to his arrival. She wasn't, but the task required all of her concentration. Finally she was ready for conversation. She asked Adam about his day and congratulated him when he told her his big news. Then he waited for her to tell him about what she had been writing. She didn't. She handed it to him so he could look for himself. He found a column of men's names. There must have been twenty of them. Next to it was another column with all of the same names and lines drawn between the first column and the second. There was another page of columns of women's names. It only took Adam a moment longer to guess why Mo had written those things.

"You are?" Mo nodded. "How long?"

"Probably about two months. Sarah has had some experience with this and she told me she thought it sounded like it was only about two months." Adam was standing very still with very little reaction other than a slight frown making Mo very worried. She added a few other things that Sarah had said. "She said that's why I've been the way I've been, you know, so emotional and so, ah, loving. She said to take advantage of it because as I get larger, and then when the baby arrives, we likely won't have as much time for each other." Adam was still silent. In a louder and plaintive voice, Mo asked him the question that worried her the most. "Adam, you're happy, aren't you?"

Startled out of his reverie, Adam looked down at Mo and for a moment wondered what she had asked him. Slowly it filtered in and he realized how he must be making her feel. He smiled then and reached down for her hands to pull her up to him. "I am very happy. It's funny because I knew it could happen, but the reality of it just hit me. I'll be responsible for a little life too. Not only will any of my decisions affect you as well as me, but now there's another life that needs to be uppermost in my mind at all times."

"I wish I could tell Madge in person. I wish I didn't have to tell her in a letter."

"That I understand perfectly. Now it's even more sad that Pa and Madge couldn't come see us get married. Even though this is that kind of joyful news that should be shared, let's wait a bit to tell anyone else. I want this to be our special news first. Now those dark lines on your chart: are those the names you like best?"

"Yes, for a girl, I would like Elizabeth Anne. For a boy, I was thinking Adam Benjamin."

"I love Elizabeth Anne combining my mother's name with your mother's name. Now, Adam Benjamin is not what I would do. I don't want to give my son the same name I have. It could be confusing. How about using Benjamin Adam if you like the combination so much?"

Nearly seven months later, Benjamin Adam Cartwright made his entrance into the world. Several of the neighbor women came in to the little house to help Mo deliver the baby while Adam sat in the kitchen with Neal Cadbury and drank whiskey. He rarely drank, but Neal had told him it was the only way to make it through the screams, the yelling, and the worry. He did caution him not to drink too much too fast.

"Babies are so unpredictable in their arrival. My first baby seemed to take forever arriving, and the second one was there almost before I broke the seal on a bottle. I must say I prefer those that arrive quickly. You may hear your wife saw some awful things about you. Never you mind those as the poor lady has to do something because of the pain." That made Adam drop his head into his hands as worry nearly overwhelmed him. "Now, don't worry so. I've never seen a healthier looking woman than your wife. She'll be fine."

Adam kept all the fears and worries he had to himself almost convinced that if he said any of them out loud, they might come true. It was better to banish those dark thoughts to the deepest recess of his mind, and try to focus only on what Neal was saying. However Mo's intermittent screams made that extremely difficult to do. Adam had been in the house when Little Joe was born of course, but he had been a tiny baby, and the delivery had gone very quickly. These hours of enduring his wife's pain even from the next room was agony, and he chided himself more than once that he had it easy compared to what Mo was experiencing.

"Neal, I don't think I ever want to have more children."

"You'll change your mind. Once you see that precious bundle and hold your baby in your arms, you'll forget all the torment and Mo will forget the pain. You'll want another soon enough."

Adam couldn't imagine that he could ever forget this night, but when he was summoned into the room to see his wife holding his son, the memory of waiting dimmed and faded immediately. He moved to the side of the bed.

"Sit down. I won't break, although for a time there, I thought I might. Isn't he beautiful, Adam. We have a son."

Adam sat on the edge of the bed next to his wife and placed a hand on the bundle she was holding. "He is the most beautiful baby in the world." Adam leaned over and kissed Mo gently and then kissed his son's forehead. Sarah said that was enough, and they had to see if the baby would suckle so Adam was sent from the room again. An hour later, he was back and rocking his son as Mo fell asleep. Sarah told him she would have the laundry done for them and would have her cook send over some meals for them. Adam thanked her and kept rocking his son unable to take his eyes from him. The neighbor ladies said that Adam should come get any one of them if they needed any help with the baby as they had never cared for one before but Adam told them that he had cared for both of his brothers when they were babies. Then they left, and the house was quiet but filled with joy and love.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

Mo watched as Adam played with his son and two of the boys from the neighborhood. Their yard was a favorite for the neighbor's children because Adam was the father most willing to play with them and tell stories. A small tear escaped her eye and trickled down her cheek because she knew that no matter how happy Adam looked at that moment, he had a melancholy building within him, and she didn't know what to do about that. Benny was two years old, and had enjoyed his birthday party a few months earlier. They had been gone from America for three years. She recalled their conversation of the night before as he had stood on their small porch and looked at the sky with the constellations with which she was still unfamiliar although he could name most.

"What's bothering you so much lately? Please tell me, and don't tell me you're fine."

Reaching around her, Adam had pulled her into him as he did whenever he had something important to say to her. "I have yearned for the respect of intelligent people and to make a difference in the world by doing things that make the lives of others better. I have enjoyed the affection of children, and I treasure the love of my wife and my son. But I want so much that which I cannot have. It's gnawing at me and taking away from the joy I have in everything else."

"You teach and the young men who come to the house to ask for your help in your class have enormous respect for you too. Your investments have paid off very well so that you have provided every comfort to me and to our son, but at the same time you have made the working conditions for the miners in those mines much safer. We are generous to the church. We have friends who care for us and shower us with good will. But I know what you mean. We aren't really home, and that we are not free to go there hurts deeply."

"I want to write to Earl to see if his evaluation of my situation has changed. We should write to our families too and give them our address too so that they can write to us. News from home will hopefully cheer up both of us." So they had pulled out sheets of paper and written letters to the Ponderosa and to Madge in Denver. Doing that had helped somewhat. They had included their new address because Adam was building a home for them which would be completed before they could receive any correspondence in reply.

Now Mo stood and watched Adam play with Benny and his friends wondering if he would miss being in the neighborhood with all of these children when they moved to their new home miles away. She hoped he would not miss it too much for he was carrying enough sadness already and also some guilt for not being able to show his father that he had a grandson who was also named after him. She smiled a little thinking how proud his father must have been to know his son had named his son after him.

Months later after Adam had moved Mo and Benny to their new home, they got their first response to the letters they had written. They sat on their patio and read the letter from Earl who reassured them that the threat from the Spanish was gone. Carlos had indeed started a rebellion in Cuba, but republicans in Spain as well as the deposition of the queen there meant that they were no longer concerned what had happened to one of their spies. The Spanish temperament had led them to seek vengeance at first, but over time they of course realized that Isabella had met the fate that many spies met. However the situation with the outlaws was murkier. Earl could not say what was likely happening there. They had unmasked the traitor within their ranks who was working with the outlaws, but that also removed their best link to knowing what those men were doing. Earl congratulated them on their marriage and the birth of their son and wrote a little postscript that Leigh was disappointed. That caused Adam to have to explain that Leigh had had a crush on him.

"I understand how that could have happened. I still see the ladies staring at you when you're not looking, and how they get red cheeks when you compliment them."

"Now, Mrs. Cartwright, you're not jealous, are you?"

"Not at all, Mr. Cartwright." She held up her hand with the ring Adam had purchased for her in New Orleans. He had offered to replace it with a nicer ring many times, but she refused for it was that ring that bound them together, and she pledged that it would be the ring she would wear for the rest of her life. She let the sun reflect off the small diamond in the middle of the setting. "Because I have this, and they're all jealous of me."

Just then Benny walked out onto the patio. He had been taking a nap, but what surprised them was that he was completely naked. "Benny, where are your clothes?"

"I was hot!"

"Benny, you can't walk around with no clothes on."

"Papa sleeps with no clothes on."

"Papa may sleep that way, but he wears clothes when he is not in bed. Now come with me and we'll get you dressed." Mo led Benny away as Adam muttered that he only wore clothing on hot days like this because she made him. "I heard that." He chuckled then and said he was sorry but whispered to himself that he was only sorry that she had heard him. He thought she probably guessed that part too. He decided to go do some work at the stable. He needed some new shoes for one of their horses, and it was a Saturday so he had no work responsibilities and school was out for the summer break. At least if he worked at the stable, he could take off his shirt at least. Mo wouldn't mind that, and he knew from how she looked at him sometimes when he worked at the forge that she rather liked seeing him that way. He enjoyed creating things at the forge and worked on a sculpture for their garden when he finished with the shoes. He was working diligently and concentrating so much that he didn't hear the horse and rider near him. He felt so safe in Australia that his instincts weren't on high alert as they would have been if he was anywhere else. He froze when he heard the voice.

"You could have stayed home to do that kind of work."

With his heart pounding in his chest, Adam turned and was engulfed in his father's hug. The two men shed a few tears before both of them got control of their emotions. Mo and Benny had been coming from the house to see what Adam was doing. Mo had a moment of panic when she saw the strange man dismount and approach Adam, but when they hugged, she knew. It had to be Adam's father.

"You finally gave me an address. I was getting ready to come here without one and search the whole place until I found you. You look good son, real good."

"Pa, shock doesn't begin to describe how I feel. I thought we would get a letter."

"Son, I had to see my first grandchild and my first daughter-in-law. I would have liked to be there for your wedding, but you explained that in one of your letters. That must be them. I hope they're not frightened of me."

Adam called to Mo and Benny to come closer. Mo had wanted to give the two men some time before intruding, and Benny was simply curious. "Pa, this is my wife, Melissa, and this is Benjamin Adam Cartwright."

Benny looked at his father then. "Papa, are you mad at me?"

Adam and Mo chuckled. "No, son, I'm not mad at you. I was simply introducing you to your grandfather. This is your grandfather. He is my father, Benjamin Cartwright."

"Hello there, young man. I am so pleased to meet you."

Benny put out his hand to shake his grandfather's hand just as his parents had taught him to greet men and women they knew. He looked to his father with a question. "Why does he have my name? What do I call him?"

"In fact, son, you have his name. We named you after him. You can call him grandfather or grandpa."

"Grampa?"

"That's close enough. Now, Benny, would you like to show me your house. Perhaps a glass of cool water because it is hot here." Looking back at Adam and Mo, Ben smiled. "You left one hot place for another."

"This is an unusually hot day. Most of the time, it's a lot more pleasant here. In fact, it just got a whole lot more pleasant today too." Adam grinned, and Mo knew he was happy and had banned the melancholy. She wished that she could do the same, but Ben had brought her a gift too. Her sister had packed up a box of photos and family mementoes for her. There was a large envelope with a letter that she said she would read later. She started crying then, and Adam pulled her into a hug. Even though she was crying, Ben was pleased very much to see how close she and his son were. The way they looked at each other and the way they held each other showed such great love. Benny looked up at him with a question.

"Grampa, why is Mama crying? Did you make her cry?"

"Benny, sometimes we cry because we're so happy. When you call me Grandpa, it makes me want to cry too."

"Should I call you something else then?"

"No, you can call me Grandpa forever. I love to hear you call me that."

"Are you going to live with us?"

"No, I have to go back to my home, but I hope someday you'll come live with me."

"Oh, no, I want to stay with Mama and Papa."

"Oh, I meant that all of you would come live with me. I have a very big ranch, and it seems even bigger and more empty without all of you there." Ben looked over at Adam. "Your year or two has turned into quite an odyssey. Am I being too hopeful or will you come home someday?"

"Pa, we want to come home. We got word from Earl that I have no fear of Spanish reprisals any longer. What we don't know is how much of grudge some others have for me, and they're a lot closer to home."

"Where exactly?"

"Northern Mexico and Texas. Pa, I can't tell you much more than that except that I messed up their plans and cost them a great deal of money. Men like that often don't live that long, and loyalties can change quickly. It might be best if we wait another year to let everything settle out there. We'll wait for information from Earl before making a final decision. It's not only my safety. If I'm a target, then the people around me could be hurt. I can't take that chance."

"A year doesn't sound too bad considering how long you've been gone already, and I certainly understand you wanting to protect your family." Ben thought for a time. "Would you be against me hiring some detectives to find out about the situation there? I won't tell them any more than what you've told me. Perhaps they can find out more."

"As long as you don't put yourself in jeopardy, that sounds like a good plan."

"I'll do anything I can if it means you can come home."

"Pa, it may be expensive to hire detectives. If you make the arrangements, I'll pay for the work that they do."

"Adam, you don't have to do that. With a big house like this and a family to support, you shouldn't have to take on any more expenses."

Adam smiled at that and Mo looked at Ben who was clearly wondering what was funny. "Mr. Cartwright, when Adam built this house, many of our friends wondered why he built such a small house."

"Small house, why it's as big as, ah, I see." As Ben had talked, he realized that Adam had a lot more money than he had thought. The house was large but very well decorated and furnished. The absence of any servant in the house must have been a choice on his part. Looking at his son, he had a question. "So you must be doing very well here?"

"Very well. The teaching doesn't pay much but keeps me in contact with a lot of people in mining who have given me tips on when and where to invest. I planned to recommend the honeycomb method of shaft shoring so I bought into several timber concerns near mining areas as well as constructing small houses which sold well when workers got jobs in those areas because of the increased demand for timber supports."

"We should have bought more land when we had the opportunity too. It seems there is an ever increasing demand for lumber."

"I've been buying Sierra timberland for two years now in California up to Oregon. I still have the same San Francisco broker I had for my investments when I was home. He takes the profits and reinvests them in land for me. I've never had to draw any money out of those investments."

"So how did you get money to invest here?"

"Well, Pa, I stole it." Adam rather enjoyed the look on his father's face for a moment before Mo gave him one of those looks a husband prefers not to get. "I'm sorry, that was cruel. I stole it from some outlaws. When I had to go on the run, Earl gave me the money to finance my getaway and to support me while I was out of the country."

"Shouldn't that money have been turned in to the government then?"

"Pa, the way things are in the government, someone would have stolen it. You know that. Earl was using a shortcut to pay my wages and pay my expenses while I had to be gone."

"That was a very generous payment though."

"Perhaps, but what is the value of a life or lives. If I stayed, I would have been killed and possibly people close to me would have been killed. This saved lives."

"I suppose you're right. Now, how about if you give me a tour of your home."

"I'll give you a tour, and I'll go get your bag from your horse and show you the guest room you can use."

"Thank you, son. I wasn't looking forward to riding that beast back into town to get a room. Why is it that at a livery stable if they don't know you, they seem to give you the horse with the most sour disposition?"

"We'll get you a better horse to ride. Tomorrow we'll use the carriage to go into town and go to church. After church, we'll get a different horse for you. How long are you planning on staying?"

"Well the captain of the ship said I should plan to leave before the fall storms make travel difficult. It was funny because at first I thought he was telling me to stay for six months and then I realized you're in your summer. I left in the winter thinking they wouldn't need me around the place until spring."

"So perhaps you can stay for a month?"

"If you can put up with me for that long."

Almost overcome with emotion, Adam stood and squeezed his father's shoulder as he passed him on the way to the kitchen. He had remembered that his father had asked for a glass of cold water. He had one himself and took a moment to collect himself before he went back out onto the patio. Then he immediately excused himself to go get his father's bag and to put his horse into the stable. Mo looked over at Ben.

"Mr. Cartwright, I don't suppose I have to tell you why he's walked off and left you alone with me and Benny. I haven't seen him do this though since Benny was very sick with influenza. When the doctor said it was in God's hands, Adam hugged me until I stopped crying, and then he went off on his own for a bit. When he came back, he was his usual strong self, but I had seen inside him for a brief moment."

"It's probably going to happen again when I get my bag. I brought a few things for him too. But you need to find something to call me other than Mr. Cartwright. You're part of my family now."

"Could I call you Ben then?"

"I would love it if you would call me Ben. Thank you." Ben hugged her then.

"Thank you. It feels more like family already."

"Now Adam calls you Mo, but introduces you as Melissa?"

"It started when we had to leave. He didn't want people to refer to an Adam and Melissa. I was called Mo by my family when I was younger. Adam traveled as William Dickens. Once we got to Sydney, he dropped the alias, but he likes calling me Mo, and I like him to call me Mo. You're family, so why don't you call me Mo too." Ben nodded and that was settled.

When Adam walked back with Ben's bag, things happened much as Ben had anticipated. He gave Adam a copy of his mother's portrait and then gave him small copies of pictures of Inger and Marie as well as a picture of Ben with Hoss and Joe. "When you get back, I want to get another picture done with all of us in it. There's a woman in San Francisco who does remarkable work. She did the portrait of the three of us. And I must thank you for sending pictures of you with your wife and son. It sits right in the center of my desk. Joe wonders why you weren't smiling in that picture though."

"Benny had influenza, and then I got it. I was near the end of my recovery when we had the photography session scheduled. I had a difficult time simply sitting through the session. Smiling wasn't even on my mind. I meant to have that redone. Perhaps we can do a sitting while you're here."

For the next month, Adam felt more complete than he had in a long time. Ben accompanied him to the mines in which he was an investor and saw how he had improved the safety of those mines as well as the productivity. He went with Adam to his timberlands and lumbering operations. He met those who had befriended Adam and Mo, and attended their church with them. He was surprised at how formal their church services were in comparison to the usual Sunday services in Virginia City. A day or so before he left, he finally asked the question he had been meaning to ask for some time.

"If you had to leave New Orleans in a hurry and couldn't wait to send another message to me and to Madge to come attend your wedding, when did you get married?"

Looking at Mo, Adam smiled before responding. "Ah, Pa, we were actually already married. We had a sheriff marry us a day before we got to New Orleans. We were planning on having a church wedding though once you and Madge go there."

"So you've never had a church wedding?"

"No, there didn't seem to be a point to it once we got here. We were married, and there was no one special to invite to a church wedding."

"Son, when you come home, will you do me the honor of agreeing to a church wedding so I can see my eldest son marry. I know you're already married, but if you renewed your vows in church, your family and Mo's family could be there as well as our friends."

Adam looked to Mo who smiled and nodded with some enthusiasm. She looked forward to Madge and Mikal being there too and hoped that Adam would agree to his father's suggestion. With her response, Adam knew what he needed to do and looked at Ben nodding as well. They had a plan. What they didn't have was timetable, but Ben was determined to work on that as soon as he got home. He hated to have to leave after a month, and Benny told him that he should stay, but Ben reluctantly bid one part of his family goodbye so he could return to the other part of his family. The return trip was sad and joyful. Ben's thought that one would have to be a father to understand it.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

"We can go home!" Mo had run out to the patio where Adam was sweeping leaves away that had blown in. Mo had been going through a stack of mail she had picked up when she went to town to visit with Sarah and get some fresh food at the market. When she got to Ben's letter to them, she opened it planning to give it to Adam to read first, but the first lines of the letter jumped out at her.

_Adam and Mo, I'm so pleased to tell you that we got the final report from the detective agency. They have reported that the man who had vowed revenge on Adam is dead, and most of the people involved in that conspiracy are now either dead, in prison, or have scattered across the western part of the country and are involved in other activities, some legal and some not. The information has been forwarded to the proper government agencies as I requested. Son, please let me know if this is enough information for you to make the decision to come home._

There was more to the letter but Mo only read that first part. She rushed out to Adam then nearly falling in her haste to show him the letter. He would have been worried by her running and high pitched voice, but he could see that it was a joyous excitement that had made her so frantic. He moved to her quickly and pulled her to him to steady her and to find out what had made her so excited. She was rarely this demonstrative of her feelings so it had to be something very important to her. She pushed the letter to him, and he took it with one hand to read it while keeping the other wrapped around his wife. Benny had been playing as his father worked and he came over to find out why his parents were so excited.

"We're going home, Benny. Papa and I are taking you home."

"Mama, we are home."

"No, Benny, what Mama means is we're going to Grandpa Ben's home, our new home."

"Can we go tomorrow? I want to see Grampa again."

"It will take a bit longer than that, son. I have a lot to do in the next few months. Then we'll go. We'll have a party to say goodbye to all of our friends here."

Many were disappointed to hear that Adam and Mo were leaving. Neil Cadbury bought their house. Sydney was expanding and he wanted to get his family into a more pleasant setting. Adam had designed and built the house, and although modest in size, it was efficiently planned out and very suitable for a banker's home. One by one, Adam liquidated his investments. By taking his time selling, buyers knew they had to pay a fair price or risk losing the property to a rival. By the time Adam was done, he had a small fortune that he planned to use to invest when he returned to the United States.

Travel went well. Adam had time and the resources to book passage on a newer ship with a larger cabin for them. When they reached San Francisco, Adam sent a wire to his family telling them they would be there soon, but were spending a few days in the city shopping and getting their land legs back. Adam did not specify a date when they would arrive not sure of how the trip would go with all of the improvements that had taken place since he had left years before. Finally, they arrived at the train station in Virginia City. Mo waited on the platform with Benny as Adam made arrangements for some of their belongings to be stored when the crates arrived from Australia. Then he grabbed their travel bags and walked out to the platform.

A few minutes earlier, with a package in each arm, Joe left the train station freight office to meet his father. Even though Ben had asked Joe not to get sidetracked by anything so they could meet at the bank on time for their scheduled appointment, Joe couldn't help himself when he saw a beautiful woman standing on the platform looking worried. He set his packages down when he neared her and coughed to get her attention.

"Ma'am, you must be new in town because of woman of your dazzling beauty would have deserved a front page of the newspaper just to announce your arrival. May I be of assistance? I'll do anything you want, anything!"

The lady smiled as she looked over Joe's shoulder, and suddenly Joe felt a hand on his shoulder squeezing ever so slightly. "She's taken, little brother." Whirling around, Joe almost fell in his surprise. Then he grabbed Adam in a hug which was reciprocated. Once Joe released him, Adam introduced a smiling Mo and a curious Benny who had been sitting as instructed by his father in those tones that had said he better comply.

"Adam, he's exactly as you said. Even before you said anything, I knew this had to be your brother, Joe."

"Hey, Adam, what have you been telling her about me? It must have been that I'm the handsomest young man in the whole town. That's how she knew me, right?"

Adam's "Right." rolled off his tongue with that droll sense of humor behind it which always made Mo laugh. Joe was enchanted with his sister-in-law.

"Pa's waiting for me over at the bank. Why don't we all walk over there? He's got the carriage in town." Adam gave Joe a questioning look. "It's that time of year when his arthritis is usually at its worst. He didn't want to ride." Collecting his family, Adam followed Joe toward the bank. As they rounded a corner near the Bucket of Blood saloon, a man stepped outside of it and began firing his pistol in the air, but as he fired, the pistols dropped lower and lower and people began scattering for cover. Adam pushed Mo and Benny back around the corner but not before one stray bullet grazed his left arm. He turned then and advanced rapidly on the man even as Joe yelled out for him to be careful. He grabbed the man's right wrist with his left hand pushing the pistol up into the air and then delivered a full right to the man's chin laying him out lengthwise on the wooden walk. Reaching down, he unbuckled the man's gunbelt and pulled it from him.

"Damn fool shouldn't be allowed to wear one of these." The man stirred and looked up at Adam. "Don't even think about getting up or I'll have to do that all over again, and I'd rather not because my hand hurts already. Lay there until the Sheriff can take care of you."

"Adam Cartwright, as I live and breathe. Your pa said you was coming home soon. Now what we got here?" Sheriff Roy Coffee looked the same as Adam remembered him. He handed the gunbelt to his old friend.

"Damn fool was shooting all over the place."

"He hit anyone?"

"No one but me, I guess." Adam took his hand away from his upper left arm then. His fingers were covered in blood. "Ruined a brand new shirt too."

"I'll lock him up for a week. I know he hasn't got any money to pay a fine. Every time he gets any money, he drinks it up. It's good to see you, boy. You stop by and have a talk with me sometime when you get a chance."

"I'll do that, Roy."

By then, Mo and Benny were by Adam's side as was Joe. Mo was concerned about Adam's wound but he said it was only a crease. It was more than that, so the four of them headed over to the doctor's office. Joe had asked Candy to go tell Ben to meet them at the doctor's office and to find Hoss if possible too. Candy saw Griff as he was heading toward the bank so he sent Griff to give the message to Ben as Candy went off in search of Hoss. Ben was shocked to get the message.

"What do you mean my son was shot? Which son? How? Where?"

"I don't know, Mr. Cartwright. Candy just said to tell you that he was shot and was going to the doctor's office. That's all I know."

Ben rushed from the bank and hurried to Doctor Martin's office. When he got there, Joe and Hoss were standing in the outer office. Ben stopped in puzzlement.

"Griff told me my son was shot."

"Pa, it's Adam. It ain't too bad. Doc's patching him up now."

"Adam's back?" Realizing how inane that sounded, Ben had a new question. "What happened? How could he be shot as soon as he arrived back here? It wasn't an assassin, was it?" Ben's greatest fear at that point was that the detectives had been wrong.

"No, Pa, it was that damn Jan York. He ties one on every time he gets a few dollars. He came out of the saloon shooting his pistol all around. One shot caught Adam in the arm. You should have seen it though, Pa. After Adam got his wife and son all tucked away, he walked up to Jan and smacked him one that laid him right out. He took his pistol away and gave it to Roy."

"Yeah, Pa, you know that Jan ain't got a lick of sense in that blond head of his when he's all liquored up. But Adam's gonna be fine. Doc said so. He's stitching it up. Boy, that wife of Adam's is even prettier than I thought. That picture Adam sent don't do her justice at all, and that boy of his is right cute too."

"Are they inside with Adam?"

"Nah, Mrs. Martin took 'em upstairs for cookies and tea. Said it was nothing a young boy like that ought to see."

About that time, the door to the surgery opened and Adam stepped out followed by Doctor Martin. "After you told me that Adam was coming home, I should have known that he couldn't come home without incident. Does anything important happen with you Cartwrights that doesn't involve blood or broken bones?"

Nodding at Paul's question, Ben stepped up and hugged his son. Next up, Hoss grabbed him in a bear hug. He stepped away after a moment with tears in his eyes and looked to Joe.  
"Nah, we already said our hellos at the train station. Glad you didn't get shot up too bad."

"I'm glad too. All the things I did and never got shot. Walking in Virginia City my first hour back, and I get shot. All of you need to reassure Mo that it isn't like this all the time, or I may never get to go to town."

"That little filly got a ring in your nose, there, older brother?"

"Hoss, that's not where the ring goes."

Surprised by the answer, all three men laughed although Ben tried to hold back as it wasn't seemly he thought for a father to laugh at a son's reference to such things, but he couldn't help laughing a little because he knew exactly what Adam meant. A wife certainly had ways to make her wishes known and her unhappiness felt. But on this day, everyone was happy. Adam gathered up his wife and son thanking the Martins for their help. They managed to squeeze into the carriage with their travel bags and the packages from the freight office. Benny sat by his grandfather for the trip to the ranch and was amazed by all that he saw. Adam sat in the back and watched the expressions on his wife's face as she took in the grandeur of their new home.

Once Ben had his entire family home, he sat back and relaxed as his sons got reacquainted and Mo and Benny got to learn about their family and their home. Hop Sing was so delighted to have Adam back and to see him married with a son that he made a banquet for their dinner. Adam had to assure Mo that they didn't eat like that for every meal but that the quality of the food was always that good. Even though it was still early, the new arrivals were very tired so retired to bed after dinner. Joe had quickly moved his belongings from the room next to Adam's to a room further down the hall so that Benny could have the room next to his parents' room.

A short time later, Adam slipped into bed next to Mo after telling Benny a bedtime story that he didn't have to finish because his son dropped off to sleep halfway through. Adam had hoped that Mo would be waiting for him, but she appeared to be sleeping. They had been able to have one romantic night in San Francisco, but travel by ship and then by train was not conducive to intimacy especially with a son who was almost four sleeping near them every night. He sighed but wasn't too disappointed because they had many nights coming up when they could show their love for each other. He closed his eyes to sleep but felt a hand slowly slip between them as Mo let him know she wasn't sleeping and she was interested. He turned her toward him and kissed her but not before chastising her a little.

"You can be cruel sometimes, woman. You're going to pay for that one."

"I bet I can guess the penalty too. I don't mind paying it. In fact, it will be my pleasure."

"You can bet it will be mine too."

Nearly an hour later, Mo fell asleep with her head on Adam's chest. She felt loved, treasured, and safe. She slept well and didn't wake until dawn when they both heard Benny stirring in his room. Their son liked to go to bed early which they found very convenient many times, but he liked to get up at dawn. Mo slipped out of bed and pulled on her robe. It was her turn. They took turns getting up with him in the early morning and letting the other one sleep in a little.

It was Sunday morning though so the whole family was likely to be up relatively early. Ben was so proud and happy to have his whole family in church with him, he couldn't stop beaming and even had trouble not smiling during the minister's stern sermon. There were many who greeted Adam and welcomed him back home again.

Once back home on the Ponderosa, family life settled into a new routine for a time as Adam told stories of his time in Australia. Sometimes they thought he had to be embellishing the stories except Mo backed him up every time. Stories of kangaroos with joeys hanging from the pouch, the description of the elusive platypus that Adam spent days trying to see and was amazed at how small it was, and seeing a kookaburra grab a snake, fly up high, and drop the snake on a rock were all stories that held the family enthralled. It was as if Adam and Mo had lived in a fantasy land. However when he told the story of the fruit bats, Joe said he had to be exaggerating.

"Bats big enough to carry a fruit the size of your two fists? Adam, you're making that up."

"No, honestly, Joe, we thought we were under attack. There were these loud thunks on the roof of the house. I grabbed a long stout walking stick and went outside to confront whomever was doing it, and there was no one there. However there was all this smashed fruit lying about. The next day the neighbors told us that the fruit bats take fruit and try to fly back to their roost with is. Sometimes it's too heavy and they drop it. Several of them dropped theirs as the flock of bats flew over our house. It only happened once, but that was enough. We found a few in our yard occasionally but they only bombed the house one time."

"Joe, those bats are ugly things, but at least they weren't dangerous unless you happened to be walking under one if it dropped a mango on your head."

"What's a mango?"

There were so many questions and so many stories that time passed very quickly. Adam spent time too riding around the Ponderosa with his father or brothers looking at all the changes that had taken place and meeting all of the hands as well as greeting again those who had been there when he left. The first day Adam got to ride, he and Sport reconnected immediately. Hoss saw that Adam had tears in his eyes as he greeted his old friend who was still in good health but no longer used for ranch work. He still liked to take a ride to town especially but didn't have the endurance to work every day. After a week and a half of sharing stories and news, the family welcomed Madge and Mikal and their family. Then it was time to repeat a lot of stories but also to hear more stories from Mo who talked about what her life had been in Australia. Hoss and Joe were curious about the time before Australia but Adam refused to answer any questions about that time and deflected every one of them into talk about something else. They stopped asking thinking that Adam would talk about that when he was ready and not any sooner. Finally the big day arrived.

Turning to face Adam, Mo shook him until he awakened. She could hear Benny stirring in the next room and knew that soon he would be up and calling out for them waking everyone else. "It's your turn to get up with him."

"I know. I'll go see to him. You get some sleep. I have plans for you later."

"Promises, promises."

"I keep my promises."

"That you do, love, that you do. Now go take care of Benny so I can sleep. We have a big day today, and I don't want to start it tired."

Shaking his head, Adam pulled on his pants and shirt and walked softly out of the room pulling the door closed behind him. When he opened Benny's bedroom door, he shushed him and quickly pulled out clothing for him to wear. Neither wore shoes so early in the morning because even at home bare feet didn't wake anyone. They made their way downstairs and Benny ran from Adam challenging him to chase him which he did of course. Then he faked an injury falling to the floor so Benny would come running to him which he did of course. Adam grabbed him then and pulled him down. Benny grabbed Adam's hands and acted as if he was pinning his father to the floor. Adam begged in a plaintive high-pitched voice for Benny to please let him go, and that caused both of them to collapse in laughter.

That's what Ben saw when he got to the top of the stairs. His heart absorbed the scene before him seeing his oldest son lay on the floor of the Ponderosa ranch house with his son on his chest as the two laughed together in merriment. Life was good and would be even better later as Adam and Mo renewed their marriage vows in church and then all of their friends would join the family here on the Ponderosa for a big party to celebrate Adam's marriage, his son, and his return home.

Later in church, Ben had tears in his eyes as he watched and listened to his son and Mo repeat their marriage vows. Benny stood beside his father. When the vows were concluded, the minister said that Adam could kiss the bride. He did but very gently before he gathered Mo into his arms and hugged her tightly to him. That hug made a number of people tear up because it was clear that Adam loved his wife with everything that was in him. He leaned back then and kissed Mo gently again before picking up Benny. Each parent planted a kiss on Benny's cheeks as the congregation smiled. The family came up and gathered round then to offer their congratulations and well wishes. Mo noticed that all Hoss did was place his hand on Adam's shoulder and squeeze. The two men looked at each other and smiled. It seemed they could communicate very well without words. Once Adam and Mo received all the congratulations and well wishes, it was back to the Ponderosa for a big party. As the party continued on into the evening, Adam took Mo's arm to walk her away from the crowd. His brothers and father saw them go.

"Dadburnit, Adam sure is in love with that pretty little wife of his. Makes me want to go get one just like her."

"Hoss, nothing would please me more than to have another son settle down and start a family. And yes, Adam is very much in love. It took him a long time to find the right one, and she is definitely the right one."

Joe asked and got permission to go set up his big surprise as Adam and Mo stood in the early twilight and looked up at the constellations. "Now those I recognize even if I don't know all the names like you do."

"Yes, it's another sign that all is right with the world."

Suddenly the sky lit up with an explosion and tendrils of it floated down to earth blinking out bit by bit only to be followed by another and another.

"Joe's been hinting at a big surprise for us. My little brother is always scheming or dreaming up some new crazy idea. I guess this is his idea for our celebration. I only hope he was sensible enough to make sure all the horses were secure before he did it."

Mo laughed at Adam's comment. She knew Joe well enough already to know that he probably hadn't thought about that. She suggested that the two of them could go back to the party and help out. Adam smiled and they walked together to see how they could help.


End file.
